Her past catches up with her
by LadyWriter29
Summary: this is a cross over of Criminal Minds and higher ground. Shelby/Jennifer are the same person. she's in the witness protection program. Her past with Josh and Walt catch up with her, how will she explain it to the BAU team?
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

Her past catches up with her

I don't own Criminal Minds and/or Higher Ground. Might not be suitalbe for younger children. Mild swearing and possibly a little vilonent.

Prologue- Mt. Horizon

Curtis places the cold, silver handcuffs on Josh. As Curtis pulls him out of the girls bathroom, Josh yells, "When I get out, I'm coming for you Shelby! I'm going to make you pay, bitch!"

"You have the right to SHUT UP! You have the right to an attorney. If you can not afford an attorney, one will be given to you. Do you understand these rights as I have told them to you?" Curtis asks, as he is obligated to do so.

"Yes," is all Josh says as he's placed in the police cruiser. All the non-cliffhangers watch as Josh's taken away.

A few days later, Curtis shows up at the hide-a-way school. Peter and Curtis talk in Peter's office, "I'm sorry Peter. The FBI's concerned about Shelby and Jess. An informant's information that Walt's recovered one hundred percent from his heart attack. He's also stated that he plans to come after the girls.

They thought that maybe the girls could take the GED test to graduate. I know Jess's still pretty young, but they would rather that both girls start college."

"Curtis, I'm not comfortable with this. But if it's going to help the girls. I guess I could give them the test. Shelby can graduated early. She only has a month and a half, but she can graduate now. I'll test Jess in a few days." Peter says, confused and a little sad. "When do I have to have Shelby ready?"

"I need Shelby in less then twelve hours. She needs to say goodbye to everyone, including Jess.

They won't be allowed to speak again." Curtis says, knowing it's going to hurt everyone. But he'd rather have them be emotionally hurt then dead.

"Curtis! My goodness! Thanks for the notice! I guess if you come back later, we'll have her ready. What time will you be back?" Peter asks with disgust.

"Ten tonight. They want to transport her by the dark of night."

"Will we get to know her name?" Peter asks, for his own benefit.

"No. I don't even get to know. They'll let her pick her own name. I'm sorry Peter. But we want her safe, right?"

"Yes. But I don't have to like it. I guess I'll see you at ten tonight," Peter says, ushering Curtis out of his office. He then heads to the class Sophie's teaching. He pokes his head in, "Sophie, could you dismiss your class and come with me please. Shelby, please come to my office in a half hour."

"Sure. Does this mean we have free time?" Shelby asks.

"Yes, just don't bother any other class." Peter says, grabbing Sophie by the arm and pulling her in the direction of his office. Sophie reluctely follows.

"Hey, what's with all the secretsy?"

"I'll tell you when we get to my office." Peter says, emotionless. Once they're in and the door's shut, Peter just paces.

"Peter, what's going on?"

"We have to have Shelby packed and She's to say goodbye to everyone forever. Even Jess. Curtis just left. FBI wants to put Jess and Shelby in witness protection. It's known that Walt's threatened the girls. And Josh's threatened Shelby. So she's getting her diploma early. She's being picked up at ten tonight. We won't be able to see, talk or write to her. It'll be like Shelby Merrick didn't even exist." Peter says with tears cascading down his cheeks.

"And we only have until ten pm? I don't know if I can do this Peter. Shelby's always felt like my own." Sophie says, starting to sob. Peter walks over to Sophie and hugs her.

"I know how you feel darlin'. But Shelby's going to be coming here in a few minutes. We have to tell her. Maybe we can have a goodbye party. I just don't know how I'm going to tell Shelby that she's to say goodbye to everyone she knows. I hope she takes it better then I did." Peter says. With that said, Shelby knocks on Peter's office door. Little did Shelby know that after she walks into that office, her life would change forever.

"Come in!" Peter says, pulling away from Sophie. Shelby walks in and notices Peter and Sophie's sad looks.

"What's going on? Oh no, what?" Shelby asks with fear.

"Shelby, Curtis came to see me a little while ago. He says that the FBI wants to put you and Jess in witness protection program. They have reason to believe that Walt and Josh are going to try to kill you. Jess's going too. So you get your diploma today." Peter says pausing.

"So Jess and I get to go away together and start over?" Shelby asks, confused.

"Well, you and Jess get to start over, but not together. You have to tell **EVERYONE** goodbye. You won't see or hear from them ever again. I'm sorry Shel. You get to come up with your name. We're going to throw you a graduation and going away party. Do you want to call your mother?" Peter asks, unsure.

"I don't know. Can I think about it?" Shelby asks.

"Sure. You're leaving at ten tonight. Maybe you could write her a letter." Sophie says.

"I'm going to miss my family. She's not my family. The cliffhangers and Jess. Well, you guys are too. Yes, even Juliet and David." Shelby says, smiling with a spaced out look in her eyes. Sophie hugs Shelby.

"You're a special and strong young lady. I'm sorry for what happened to you, but I'm glad it brought you here. You're truly the daughter I've always wanted. I love you and that will never change. No matter if we never see or talk to each other again. All you have to do is think of me and my arms will be tightly around you. I'll whisper 'I love you Silly Shelby'. I'll always be here and in your heart. I know you'll be ok," Sophie says, wiping her tears away. "I'm going to go get a party planned. Shelby, you're going to shine." Sophie says and quickly exits Peter's office.

"Well, she sure can talk the wind out of a balloon. Thank you for all the lessons you've taught me. I have to admit, I'm a little scared. I thought I'd always be able to pick up a phone and call you if I need a pep talk. Knowing once I step off this beautiful campus, I'm all alone. It scares me more than just a little. Peter, what am I going to do without you? I never imagined a life without you in it at least once a year." Shelby says, through a few tears.

"Well, I have to agree with what Sophie said. Just because I'm not able to see or talk to you, doesn't mean I won't always be in you life. You'll think 'what would Peter tell me to do? What would Peter do?' Just think of me as your Jiminy Cricket, you'll be fine. I'm so very proud of you. You've changed completely. You're strong enough to take care of yourself. We gave you the tools, use them. Do you want me to call a cliffhangers meeting so we can tell them or do you want to tell them in your own way?"

"I think a meeting sounds good to me. I don 't think I could do that more than once." Shelby says, talking about giving the news of her departure.

"Ok, let's go tell them." Peter says, gesturing to the door. They walk to the lodge. "Attention all cliffhangers! Please come over here and take a seat. Something's come up." Peter says, turning back to look at Shelby. Once they've all taken a seat, Shelby stands where Peter or Sophie (whom ever is leading group) usually does.

"Hey everyone. Oh, thanks Sophie. Jess, please sit down. I want to make sure everyone's here. I have some news. It looks as though Walt and Josh have it out for me. Jess, you'll be talking with Peter about your situation. I'll be getting my diploma today," Shelby pauses. The group claps and cheers for Shelby. She smiles at them and fights back tears. "Thanks guys, but there's more. The FBI's worried that Walt and Josh are going to try to have me killed. So they're pulling me in witness protection. Jess, you'll be taking your GED test real soon and then you'll be going into witness protection. We'll never see each other again. Shelby will cease to exisit. Peter and Sophie are sweet enough to throw me a graduation slash going away party tonight. Curtis will be picking me up at ten. I'm going to go pack. I don't want people to be sad. I get to start a new life with a clean slate. But you'll all remain in my mind and heart. I have to go pack."

Shelby says, rushing past everyone, exited the lodge. She heads to the cliffhanger's girls dorm. Everyone else tears up. Even the guys.

Back at the cliffhangers girls dorm, Shelby's packing her cloths. When she gets to pictures, books, and mementos, Shelby breaks down sobbing. She starts remembering some of the good times. Like when she's able to overcome her fear of heights and climb the side of that cliff to get Annie's daughter after she went missing. Being able to reunite a mother and daughter that loved each other. Then there's the time that the girls had to make a cake from scratch for Hannah. The first time Scott kisses her. The feeling she gets when Scott looks at her in that special way. The strength to stand up to Walt for her and her sister.

Then the bad times. The way Scott first treated her. The way he looked at her after he found out about her being molested. Also about the hookering. When her mother made her go home and care for Walt after the heart attack. She remembers wanting to die. Then the whole experience with Josh. On the streets and at Horizon. The awful feeling of never seeing any of them ever again. Shelby's so upset that she runs to the bathroom and vomits. Her stomach's in many knots. She tries to breath through the nausea. In walks Juliet. "I thought that's my problem."

"I'm not forcing myself to puke. It's nerves. Can you imagine leaving here and being on your own?" Shelby asks without any meanness or sarcasm.

"I guess I'd understand. But I think out of all of us, you'll be the best on your own. You're strong and independent. One part of your life's ending. Or this is an ending to this life and a new beginning to a new, better life. Sure it's scary, but it's exciting too. Imagine all the countless opportunities. I'll miss your 'Queenie' nickname. You're always a pain in my butt, but you kept my on my toes. Thanks. Daisy's going to be here in a minute. She had something to do. I guess I'll see you at the party." Juliet says, turning and leaving the bathroom, then the dorm. Shelby flushes the toilet and stands up at the sink. She cups her hands and runs some water. She puts some water in her mouth and swishes, then spits it out into the sink. She walks out of the bathroom and walks to Daisy's bed. She lays down on it and smells Daisy's pillow. She closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep.

A while later, Shelby's awakened by Daisy. " Shel, wake up. Hon, are you ok? You look kind of green." Daisy says, kneeling next to her own bed.

"I'm fine. What time is it? How long have I been asleep?" Shelby asks, thinking she dreamt the witness protection problem.

"Hon, it's five-thirty. I don't know how long you've been sleeping." Daisy says.

"Oh, Dais you should've seen this bad dream. I had to leave everyone behind. It's awful. Did I miss dinner?"

"Yeah, but we're having a party. We actually get to have cake. Peter's letting us have a twelve ounce can of coke! You can't miss this!"

"What's the party for?"

"Why don't we go see Peter."

"Why? Why am I in your bed? Why's my bed put away? My cloths! What's going on?" Shelby asks, almost in a panic.

"Shel, calm down. Let me go get Peter or Sophie."

"NO! Dais, tell me what's going on! That wasn't a bad dream! I'm leaving! Oh, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you seemed calm and at easy. I want one more memory of you being the strong independent Shelby. I'm losing you." Daisy says, trying to hold back the tears. Shelby leans over and tightly hugs Daisy.

"We'll always be best friends. Weather my name's Shelby or Shelia. When anyone asks me who my best friend is and I'll always be saying Daisy Graves," Both girls giggle. "Come on. We have a party to get to." Shelby says, smiling.

"Let's go. I'm sure Scott wants to spend as much time with you before you leave forever." The girls just sit there for a few moments in silence. Then, they both stand up and walk out without saying a word.

A few minutes later, Daisy and Shelby walk into the lodge. Everyone yells "SURPRISE!" then starts singing 'for she's a jolly good fellow'. Shelby and Daisy smile and look at each other.

"Shelby, this cake," Sophie carries a big cake with a diploma and a picture of a girl with Jane Doe underneath it. One candle in the center, lit. "is for you. For the accomplishment of getting through high school and for your courageousness to start a new life on your own. We know you are going to make us all proud. Now LET'S PARTY! Within reason." Peter says, smiling. Everyone dances and laughs. They all have a great time. Eating cake and ice cream. Shelby and Scott kiss and hold each other. Peter and Sophie let them, knowing they'd never see each other again. They pull off into a corner where they could talk alone for a few minutes.

"I'll never forget you Scott Barringer. You are and will always be my first true love. You'll be with me until the day I die. I'll miss your touch, the way you look at me and most of all, the feeling I get when I'm with you. It'll be with me no matter what. I'll always love you Scott Barringer." Shelby says, leaning in for a long passionate kiss. When they pull apart Scott just stares at her for a few moments.

"Shelby Merrick, you're so beautiful. Don't let anyone every make you feel cheap, dirt or used. No one as wonderful as you can be anything but heavenly. If you take your confidence with you, no one will make you feel anything but what you want. You can always find me online. I'll always be listed. I'll never forget you." Scott says and kisses her again. When they pull apart, Shelby just stares at his face. She runs her soft hands over his face trying to remember his face, not just visually, but through touch too.

Curtis walks in and the music's cut off. "Sorry, but Shelby it's time to go. Say your goodbyes and I'll put your bags in the truck. You have ten minutes. " Shelby kisses Scott.

"Don't forget that you did nothing wrong and you're an amazing young man. Don't ever forget that." Shelby sheds a single tear. She walks over to Jess. Jess's already crying. "Jess, don't let anyone tell you that you aren't a special and an unique young lady. I left a letter on your bed that I need someone to give to mom. I'll always remember you as my sister and my friend. No one will ever make me forget you." Shelby hugs and kisses her on the cheek. Jess goes and stands by Scott. Scott holds her. Shelby heads over to Daisy.

"Hey you. Take care of yourself. I know you can take care of yourself. Just ask your dad. Ha! Be good to yourself. You'll find the man meant for you.. Make sure you do what you want to do in life, not what people want you to. Don't forget me," Shelby says hugging Daisy. She pulls away and heads over to Juliet.

"Hey you. Don't be so hard on yourself queenie. Auggie's been good for you. Hope everything works out the way it's supposed to for you. Take care." Shelby hugs Juliet. When she pulls away from Juliet. She stands in front of Auggie.

"Hey Aug, you take it easy. You need to look after Juliet. You're always real nice to me. Thank you for that. Stay out of trouble," Shelby hugs him, then pulls away. She steps over to Ezra.

"Hey EZ. You're going to find someone who fits with you. Don't worry or stress. Take care of yourself," Shelby hugs him and kisses him on the cheek. Then she steps over to David.

"David, you've been nothing but trouble. I hope you find your way. Ease up on everyone. They all really need it. You do too." Shelby holds her hand out to shake hands with David knowing he doesn't like to be touched. But David leans over to her and quickly hugs and pulls back. Shelby smiles then heads for the door. That's where she meets up with some teary adults.

"Hey you two. Thanks for teaching me that it's ok to be myself. And for showing me how to cope with things the right way. This is a huge coping problem. But because you incredibly warm people, I've learned to deal and move on. Now you all must do the same. Just don't forget about me, ok?" Shelby says starting to cry and reaches over to hug them both at the same time.

"We'd never forget about you. You just make us proud." Peter says still hugging her.

"I sure couldn't forget about you. We love you too much. Be a success at life. Find a man, settle down and have tons of little Shelby's. That's what life's really all about. Being happy is the other part. Don't forget that." Sophie says squeezing tighter. Shelby starts to cry harder. They pull apart as Curtis walks in.

"You all are my family. This place will always be my home. My mom and dad. And all my sisters and brothers. Take care of yourselves. I'll pray every night for you all. Bye." Shelby says with a wave.

Shelby turns and walks out of the lodge for the last time. She walks to Curtis' car. She gets in and watches the school with all her friends get smaller and then disappear forever.


	2. Chapter 2: 10 years later

Her past catches up with her

I don't own Criminal Minds and/or Higher Ground. Might not be suitable for younger children. Mild viloence and some swearing.

10 years later…

A blond beautiful lady in her twenties is setting up the small drab briefing room for the FBI's BAU: Behavior Analysis Unit. The blond beauty, JJ is the FBI liasion and she has to get the team of seven up to speed on the current case. JJ realizes that she doesn't have the individual packs with the case information for each agent. In the past week, JJ has been off her mark. She's been late getting into work. She's misplaced important files. One day she shows up in her slippers. The rest of the team have been concerned about her. The team slowly file into the tiny room. As they sit down, JJ starts the meeting.

"Ok people, we have a new case. It's coming from a town called Hope Springs in Colorado. A little girl, Maggie, age six has been kidnapped on her way home from a neighbor friends house. She's been missing for forty-eight hours now. The mother has temporary custody. The father just got back from an out of town business trip and has a solid alibi."

JJ's pacing the brown colored office as she talks. Her blond hair is neatly groomed as always. Her outfit's professional, but there's something different about her appearance. Special agent Dr. Spencer Reid notices. He's had a secret crush on Special Agent Jennifer 'JJ' Jearau.

She finds this case urgent. She knows that this child needs their help and fast. She always takes the cases that deal with children a little more to heart. She believes that it's her guilt over not protecting a little girl from her child molester step father, Walt. The guilt's eaten away at her for over ten years. She's trying to right a wrong. Only it's years ago and a different life. JJ's brought back to the present.

"So do they have any witnesses or leads?" Reid asks.

"They have the neighbor girl, Molly, who saw a man pulling Maggie into a van. From what Mrs. Martin's able to get from Molly, the van was green. What shade's unknown. The man has dark hair. Someone else was driving. She says it's a lady with long blonde hair. That's all we have to go on. I'll have all the paper work and statements ready for you guys by the time you're ready to go."

JJ shuffling through papers. JJ seems to be disorganized and distracted. Everyone could tell.

"You're going with us. We're going to need someone to spin this in a way to calm and reassure the people to stay calm and help us get Maggie back fast." Aaron Hotchner, senior special agent, and her boss says, "Are you sure?"

JJ doesn't want to step foot in Colorado. If she did, she'd be stepping back into her old life.

"You're going." Hotch, that's what they call him, says.

"Yes sir. I'll be ready in thirty minutes. I need to stop off at home to pack a few things. Does anyone need anything else before I leave?"

"Yeah, I thought you always have a bag packed and in your office?"

"Normally I do, but I've been doing some…Spence, mind your own business. I'll be back in thirty minutes." JJ leaves in a hurry.

"Sorry, did I say something wrong?"

"No. She's been acting strange all week. It's like her mind's been on something else. Does anyone know what it might be? It could be love. It usually makes people act weird." Jason Gideon, FBI's psychologist and father bear to everyone.

"If she is, she hasn't told me. And I'm one of the first people she tells." Penelope Garcia, tech agent, says.

"Does anyone know when her birthday is?"

"I should know that, but I don't. I can find out."

Garcia rushes out of the briefing room and scurries into her office. She gets on one of her many computers to get into personnel files. She types in Jennifer Mae Jareau. When her file comes up, she sees all her personal information. Birthday, July 22, 1978. Birth place, Lansing, MI. Address of the small house that she's paid off already. Her parents still live in Lansing. She has two younger sisters, Sarah age 24 and Melody 17. JJ's emergency contact's a Mrs. Mason. Her address's close to JJ's. Garcia finds it weird that JJ never seems to mention anything about her family or past. She never recalls her prom, graduation or childhood anecdotes. Maybe she's upset no one asks her about her family. Garcia closes the file and heads back to the briefing room.

"Well, her birthday's July 22. So she's already had her birthday here. She never mentions her birthday. You think one of us would've asked."

"She knew my birthday and always seems to have a cake. How can she be so sweet, but then never mentions her birthday?"

"Maybe she celebrates her birthday in her own way. Just not with a huge party. A party for two." Morgan, another special agent says. Morgan tries to hint to something more adult.

"Ok, time to get our minds clean and back on track. We leave in an hour. Go do what you need to get done. Be back here to get to the plane by two. We'll pick up this clean conversation later. Go!" Hotch says.

They all scatter.

Meanwhile, JJ's at her house packing. She takes a short detour. She goes to the painting hanging in the living room, over her fireplace. She reaches behind it and pulls out a picture of the cliffhangers. The group she thinks of as her true family. She smiles when she sees Daisy and Ezra, Auggie and Juliet, David, Kat and Scott. She runs her finger over Scott's handsome face. She takes a deep breath and lays her eyes on Peter and Sophie. She's praying that they'd be proud of what she's doing. All the hard work she went through and the success she's achieved. It feels like just yesterday, but also like a lifetime ago. Her mind wonders back to Jess and her mom, Alice. Wondering what name Jess came up with. JJ thought it's probably Ashley because she used to play house and use that name. She imagines Jess with a nice young man and a few kids. Maybe a dog or maybe a cat. JJ smiles and then puts the picture back in it's hiding place behind the painting.

She grabs her bag and heads out of her house. She locks the house up and puts a note in her neighbor, Mrs. Mason's mailbox. She frequently did this so Mrs. Mason could watch for intruders. Mrs. Mason didn't mind doing it. JJ 's like a daughter to her. When JJ's off on vacation or just off duty, she spends time with Mrs. Mason. They spend holidays together.

JJ gets back to the FBI headquarters, drops her bag off in her office and then heads to Hotches office.

She knocks on the door. "Come in!" was the response.

JJ opens the door and walks in.

"Hey Hotch, I'm back. Is there anything you need me to do before we leave? I called the Hope Springs police department. An officer Brady Jensen told me he'd have an officer at the airport. The officer will then take us to the HSPD so we can set up. He also has the parents of Maggie on alert that we'll be there soon so we can talk to them. I have the copies for everyone to review on the way there. Am I missing anything?"

"Yeah. Sit down please. I need to talk to you."

"Sure. Is it Haley or baby Jack? I have no experience around babies. But I could get as much info as you need."

"JJ! It's not my family. This is about you. I'm worried about you. Is something bothering you?" Hotch is concerned.

"Uh, no. What makes you think that something's wrong?"

"Well, some of the others and myself have noticed that you seem distracted. Like you have something else on your mind. Would you like to talk about it?"

"There's nothing wrong. Thank you for asking and be willing to let me talk about it. Is that it?" JJ starts getting up.

"No. Is there a reason you didn't want to go to Colorado?"

"I'm sorry Hotch. I wasn't trying to get out of going to Colorado. I wasn't trying to second guess You. I'm truly sorry. It won't happen again. I just have paper work to catch up on. I'm also working on something for my neighbor Mrs. Mason. When I go out of town, she watches my house. So I try to do something nice for her. Did I miss anything before we go? I still have to get as much of my paper work done. Oh, I could take some with me on my laptop. Then I can…"

JJ's still talking and leaves his office without him dismissing her. That's so not like JJ. Normally she's so organized and on top of things. It's like her mind was scattered. That worries Hotch even more. He leaves his office to goes to talk to Gideon. Maybe he'd have better luck with her then he did. Hotch knocks on Gideon's closed office door.

"Come in!" Gideon yells while still doing some type of paper work. Hotch opens the door.

"Gideon, do you have a minute?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"I talked to JJ. I think something's going on. She's short with Reid, she didn't want to go with us to Colorado on this case, and she was just in my office. She's talking and just gets up and walks away without us finishing our conversation. Something's wrong. Please, could you talk to her. Let me know if there's anything I can do. Maybe she needs to take some personal time."

"Sure. I'll try to talk with her on the plane. Is that ok? That way she can't walk out on me. So we leave in fifteen minutes?" Gideon asks looking at his watch.

"Yeah. See you in a few minutes." Hotch says walking out of Gideon's office. He goes back to his office to grabs his bag, then heads to Garcia's office. He knocks on her door.

"Come in if you dare!" Hotch opens the door.

"Hey Garcia, can you do me a favor. While we're on the plane, could you do a back ground check on a Mrs. Mason that lives next door to JJ? I need to know anything you can get on her. I need to know about her relationship to JJ. See if Mrs. Mason has a family. See if you can find a criminal record. When you get anything, call me on my cell. And please, no mentioning it to anyone else. Thanks."

"Sure. No problem." Before she could say anything else, Hotch disappears. Garcia's feeling a little uncomfortable having to do this.

A while later, when the team's in the air on their way to Colorado, Gideon's watching JJ's behavior. She sits by herself. Reading papers and typing them into her laptop. She seems to be focused on one specific case and nothing else. She seems to be acting as if she's alone. Then she looks something up online. She's looking at the screen, then the color leaves her face. She stares for a few seconds, the she shuts the laptop and gets up to head to the lavatory. Once JJ's in the lavatory, Gideon gets up and goes to JJ's lap top. He opens it and looks to see what made JJ so effected. It's a screen for federal department of corrections. She'd typed in a name, Josh. The release date's for that Friday. Gideon pulls up the arrest record for Josh. Josh's convicted of unlawfully holding a hostage at knife point and attempted rape. Gideon's wondering what he has to do with JJ. He begins to think he's probably from previous cases.

JJ comes out of the lavatory and back to her spot. Gideon's still sitting there looking at the mug shot of Josh. JJ freaks, "What are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you'd finished. I was going to borrow your lap top to look up an old friend's address. If you don't mind me asking, who's Josh?" Gideon asks unfaultured.

"Well, if you must know. Josh's from my first case. I try to keep track of all the people that get convicted. That way I can inform the victims. A young lady by the name of Shelby. Josh hurt Shelby. So he got put away. I'm afraid he's going to try to hurt her. I don't even know where to find her." JJ looks like she's lost in her memory.

"Why don't you have Garcia look her up." Gideon says, not taking his eyes off of JJ. He can tell she's very effected by this.

"Maybe I will. Thank you. Could you be quick with my laptop. I need to get back to work."

"Oh, I'll look him up later, if that's alright. Sorry for the intrusion. Here." Gideon says handing the laptop to JJ.

She takes her laptop, "That's fine," and goes to the other side of the plane. Hotch watches the encounter between JJ and Gideon. Then his cell phone rings.

"Hotchner."

"Hey Hotch, it's Garcia. I have the info you want. Martha Mason's fifty-eight years old. She was born in Richmond, Virginia. Her parents died in a plane crash in 1979. She's an only child. She's never married and no birth children. She did adopt a young girl in 1987. Gwendolyn Mason was eight at the time of adoption. She had liver failure. She died in 1998. Martha was employed as a nurse at Richmond Regional Hospital for about thirty-five years. She moved to the house she's in now about ten years ago. She has no criminal record and she does a lot of volunteer work. She seems like the perfect neighbor and friend. I'll keep working until you get back. Later." Garcia says, hanging up.

At the Hope Springs police department, JJ's talking to the officer Brady Jensen about where their set up is going to be. "Have you got any new information?" JJ asks.

"No, nothing new. The parents are calling every half hour. Could one of you please go talk to them and try to calm them down. It's hard to get anything done with them calling all the time. I'm sorry their daughter's missing, but we're trying to find her."

"That's very insensitive of you! They just want to get updates! We'll talk with them, that way YOU can do what YOU need to do." JJ says, walking away in a huff. This is uncharacteristic of the JJ they knew. The sheriff Curtis Brown comes in and greets everyone.

"Hello. I'm sheriff Brown. You can call me Curtis. Is there anything I can help you with? Do you have all you need?"

"Yes, thank you. I'm special agent Hotchner. This is special agent Gideon, special agent Dr. Reid, special agent Morgan, special agent Prentiss and special agent Jareau seems to be in another place. I apologize for her behavior. I'm going to speak with her. If you'll excuse me." Hotch says, walking in the direction that JJ went. He finds her in the conference room they'd set up for the temporary headquarters for them. She's talking on the phone to Mrs. Fellows, Maggie's mother.

"Mrs. Fellows, we're going to come and talk to you shortly. I have to ask you not to call. We'll let you know if something changes. Is there anything you feel we need to know?"

"Yeah. She's an asthmatic. She doesn't have her inhaler. She could be having an attack and they could think she's faking. Please, let them know she's allergic to smoke. She's got to be scared." Mrs. Fellows says between sobs.

"I know ma'am. We're trying. I'll be coming personally to talk to you. I'll be there as soon as I can. Just stay put and I'll see you soon. Just stay calm. Bye." JJ says and hangs up. Hotch comes up behind her.

"JJ." She jumps.

"Oh, what is it Hotch. I have some information I need to write down about Maggie." JJ writes down the asthma and allergy to smoke in. "And then I have to go to the Fellows residences. Is it something that we can handle after I get back from the Fellows residences?"

"No. Wait! I need a word with you. It will only take a minute." Hotch says.

"Is it really that important? I need to start the follow up with Mrs. Fellows. She's expecting me." JJ says.

"Damn it Jareau! I'm your boss! Stop for a second and listen to me."


	3. Chapter 3:

Her past catches up with her

I don't own Criminal Minds and/or Higher Ground. Might not be suitalbe for younger children. Mild vilence and some swearing.

Chapter 2

"I'm listening Hotch."

"I'm very disappointed at the way you handled officer Jensen. You've never yelled at an officer we're helping. What's going on with you? And I don't want to hear the explanation that you need to help the mother. You're out of control. Please tell me so I can help!" Hotch says raising his voice like JJ's never heard before. She just stands there for a few seconds looking at Hotch.

"I'm sorry Hotch. I'll apologize to Officer Jensen. I'll try to do this case and then if you ok it, I'll take a vacation and try to get back on track. I'm sorry I've disappointed you. I'll work harder." JJ says and walks past him.

"JJ! I'm not through talking to you." JJ stops and turns back toward him.

"Uh, ok?"

"Sit down." Hotch goes to the door and leans out. "I need to have a private conference with agent Jareau. Please don't disturb us. I'll open the door when we're finished. " Hotch shuts the door and walks over to a chair next to JJ's. He sits down facing JJ. "Jennifer, I know that you're personal life's private. I understand that. Why have you been acting so odd? You've never told anyone at headquarters anything personal about yourself, like your birthday." Hotch looks into JJ's eyes.

"Why's this so important? Maggie's life could been in danger. We can talk about this after we get her back. We can talk on the plane rider home." JJ says, trying to get out of the situation.

"Ok. But if you need to talk to someone, I'm here to listen. Or go to one of the others. We all care and are willing to listen. There's nothing wrong with asking for help. Do you want me to go with you to the interview?"

"Nah. I can handle it. You have more important stuff to do here. Thanks for the offer and thanks for being here for me. Now I'm going to go apologize to officer Jensen and be on my way. Call if you need me to pull some strings or cut some red tape. Be careful out there. Lee and Jack need you to come home." JJ says, getting up and opening the door. She turns and smiles at Hotch, then leaves the conference room.

She searches for officer Jensen. Morgan, Prentiss, Reid and Gideon all flood into the conference room to find out if Hotch had any information on JJ or Maggie.

"So, did she tell you anything? It wasn't that long before she came out." Gideon says, with concern.

"No. I asked her about her birthday and why she doesn't bring it up. She maneuvered around the question. She was able to find out that Maggie's asthmatic and is without her inhaler. She's also allergic to smoke. She's going to apologize to officer Jensen and then she's heading over to the Fellows residence. She's going to be a while. So let's find us a little girl safely. Let's get as many leads as we can. Do any of you have any other leads? We know about the witness, Molly." Hotch says, trying to get things rolling. So they were following up on that one.

JJ finds officer Jensen and walks over to him, "Excuse me Officer Jensen. I'd like to apologize for my actions earlier. I didn't mean to yell at you or begin to tell you how to treat people of your town. Please, except my apology and let me buy you dinner to make up for any embarrassment I might've caused. I'm going to go talk with the parents. If you want a statement read to the public, I'll set up a press conference.

So please, take some notes on what you want said and I'll be back as soon as I can. " JJ says, holding her hand out to shake his hand as a peace offering.

"No harm, no fowl. Truth be told, I'm kind of insensitive. I apologize for my rude behavior. You don't need to buy me dinner. But thanks for the thought. Would you like me to accompany you to the Fellows residence?" Officer Jensen asks.

"If you can take the time. I don't want to take you away from anything." JJ says, smiling.

"No, just paper work that can be done any time. I'd like to talk to you about the FBI. I've thought about trying to get into the FBI. Maybe you'd answer some questions on the way."

"Sure if I can." JJ says as they leave the station.

About ten minutes later, JJ and Brady pull up the Fellows driveway. As Officer Jensen puts the car in park, Mrs. Fellows comes out of the home to greet them.

"Hello, Mrs. Fellows. My name's Special Agent Jennifer Jareau. This is Officer Jensen. " JJ says, holding her hand out to shake Mrs. Fellows hand.

"Hello. Nice to meet you. Please, come in. Can I get either of you something to drink?"

"Nothing for me thank you." Officer Jensen says politely.

"Nothing for me either. Thank you though." JJ says, following Mrs. Fellows into the older house.

"Please, sit down. I don't know how to start this information thing." Mrs. Fellows says, sitting uncomfortably in a chair. JJ and Brady sit on the couch together. JJ reaches into her purse and pulls out the pocket tablet and the pencil.

"Well, what I normally do is ask the questions, unless you remember something that you might find helpful. I already have the medical problem that Maggie has. I've given that to the other agents. Also the van, the description of the abductor and the driver. I need things like, do you have any enemies or angry relatives? Someone you think might want to get revenge on you or your ex?" JJ asks.

"All my family's dead. I don't think John's family would do anything to hurt Maggie. I don't have any angry friends. Let me get John in here so he can help with the questions." Joy says, gets up and walks to the back door that's just off the dinning room. "John! Come in!" JJ and Brady just laugh. Joy comes back into the living room and sits back down.

"Have you noticed any strangers lingering around the neighborhood? Someone out of place. Anyone taking a special interest in Maggie?" JJ asks.

"I've noticed a strange young man, maybe fifteen or sixteen. He has dark hair, about Johns color. His van's a green color." Then right then, it hits Joy that she might've seen the abductor. "Oh my god! That could've been the kidnapper!"

"Ok, calm down. How long before the kidnapping did you see this young man?" JJ asks.

"Uh, about three days I think. I shouldn't have allowed Maggie to walk home when I knew that weird guy was hanging around. How stupid could I be?" Joy says.

"Pretty stupid. Why do you think we're divorcing? What questions do I have to answer now. Don't you FBI ever talk to the local pigs? John says, pacing the living room instead of sitting down.

"Now Mr. Fellows, there's no need to be rude and crude. We're all on the same side. We just need a few questions answered that the FBI thinks might be helpful. That's why the FBI gets called. The local police are only equipped to handle certain crimes. So please, help us get your daughter back." Brady says.

"Ok. I'm sorry. Please, go ahead and ask your questions." John says.

"While I finish getting information from your ex, please think of any friends, family or colleagues that might want to hurt you by taking your daughter. Now Mrs. Fellows, please try to give me a description of this green van. Was it hunter green, sea foam green, or lime green? And if you can, tell me the make and/or the model." JJ says.

"Well, it's a darker green. The van's a mini van. A Chevy venture I think. I don't know the year. The license plate was an Arizona state. That's all I can remember." Joy says.

"That's good Mrs. Fellows. Mr. Fellows, have you thought about the questions I gave you?" JJ asks, hoping he did.

"Yes. I have a son. I don't see him or claim him. It's when I was fifteen. No other family member would do this. I can't think of any other person that would hate me enough other than Joy. I don't think she could do it. No matter how much she hates me. And I sure as hell couldn't do it to her. Then there's always a stranger. But if it's for ransom they should've called by now. Is that enough for you to go on?" John asks, obviously now more serious.

"This is a good start. Could you give my the son's name?"

"I have no idea. I just got a call when she had him. She never told me the name." John says, feeling weird not knowing his own sons name.

"Could you give me the mothers name as of the last time you spoke with her and the town and state that you last knew she was at?" JJ asks, thinking Garcia can track her down.

"Rosa Manuela. She lived in Mount Pleasant, Wyoming." John says.

"Why didn't you ever tell me you had a son? We were married for cripe sake. I really hate you John." Joy says angry, shocked and sad.

"Ok, we're going to check this out. Thank you for being honest. I know it must've been hard to bring up something you've never told anyone else. Please, stay close to the phone. I have a good feeling about this." JJ says, trying not to look to excited about this lead. JJ and Brady leave the house and JJ gets her cell phone out. She couldn't get any signal. "Damn! I can't get a signal. Does this ever happen to you?" JJ asks Brady.

"I wouldn't know. I don't have a cell phone. I don't need one. But we're in a heavily wooded part of the state. You might get signal at the police station. I think there's a tower of sorts. You rely on that thing way too much. What do you think they used back in the early days? You can use what we like to call land line phones. How about that?" Brady says, trying to get a rise out of JJ.

"Well, I guess I will have to use land line phones. Cell phones are faster though. I could've had Garcia checking into this as we speak. So, are you still turning down my dinner invitation?" JJ asks, playing coy.

"I think I could probably handle eating a meal with you. As long as you tell me what I need to know. I keep think that the FBI is more and more in the direction I want to go in. What do you think?" Brady asks JJ.

"Well, I couldn't say. I don't recruit FBI agents. It took a lot of hard work and sacrifice. That's why I'm not married or have any children. Hotch has a wife and child. But it's different for women. But I don't want to get into a sexism fight. I don't think I'm ready for a family. I barely take care of myself. It would be nice to have a second half that isn't an agent. I think we wouldn't see each other that much. All though, absence makes the heart grow fonder. I don't know anything right now, I'm going on four hour sleep for the last four days. Something I'm sure you wouldn't want to experience. But maybe I can talk to Hotch and see if maybe you could come and visit the HQ. You could stay at my place. I have a spare room." JJ says, dashing Brady's hopes of a love connection.

"Sounds exciting. So do you want to eat at Rusty's or at my place?" Brady asks.

"Well, since I don't know you and have a reputation to protect, I'll go with Rusty's. Thank you. " JJ says, smiling.

"Ok, would you like to invite your colleagues? I'll buy a round of beers for everyone. " Brady says, as an apology for moving too fast.

"I'll ask when we get there. So, have you ever been married?" JJ asks, trying to get to know Brady.

"No. Bad childhood with my own parents. So I didn't have a great example. I ended up going to a local school here for troubled teens. I liked the woods so well that I decided to stay. What about you?" Brady asks.

"No. I just told you that I've been too busy getting were I'm at today. I myself also had a troubled childhood. That's why I wanted to put the bad people away for a living. To find a balance between my mistakes and the mistakes made against me. Plus, if I would've had someone like me in my life I wouldn't have made so many mistakes. Do you understand?" JJ says, trying to make sense.

"I completely understand. If Peter wouldn't have been there, I'd been dead right now." Brady says, smiling at the memory.

"Who's Peter?"

"Peter and Sophie run the school for troubled teens. They do miracles in those woods. They're my best friends." Brady says.

"They must be something special. What about your parents?"

"They don't talk to me anymore. Peter and Sophie are my new parents. They said that. So I consider them my parents and best friends. I should take you to meet them. I'll call and invite them to dinner. I think everyone would like them. They heal broken children so they don't become killers and rapists."

"I'd love to meet them. I'd like to see the school too if they don't mind. I think that sounds like something I might want to invest into. Maybe even Mrs. Mason. She's a big believer in saving children. She adopted a girl who was dying of liver failure. She adopted her and made sure her life a happy one. She's kind of adopted me too. She makes it hard not to care for her." JJ says, smiling at the thought of Mrs. Mason joining forces with Peter and Sophie.

"Well, we're here. You go ahead and ask your FBI agency and I'll call Peter and Sophie. Let's meet at Rusty's at six-ish. "

"We should be able to break for dinner. There might be some talk of work. FBI never really stop working. But with you being a cop you should know. Thanks for going with me and talking about your childhood. Can't wait to meet your friends." JJ says, stepping out the of the car into the police station. Brady parks the car and goes to do what he needs to do.

JJ walks into the conference room and starts rambling, "I have a last name and a couple people Garcia needs to check out. I couldn't call her when I got the name because there's no cell service out here. I need to call her and get her on it. Also, I think this boy might be the unsub because his father had nothing to do with him. So as soon as Garcia gets the info we can finish this case. On the other hand we have to eat. So maybe we can go over to Rusty's and have some dinner. Officer Jensen has asked us all to dinner and the meet the local owners of the school for troubled teens. I was thinking of maybe donating some money for the cause. It would mean less unsubs in the future. Plus, Officer Brady Jensen went there. So I think I need to try to keep that place going." JJ says, without pausing to get any feed back from her captive audience.

"Dinner sounds kind of fun. I'm in if Hotch says we can." Prentiss says.

"I'm down with that. Maybe I could donate a little dough to the school too. You know given my childhood situation too." Morgan states.

"I think it would be beneficial to what we're doing here. Maybe we could talk to the children. Get them thinking about their future." Gideon says.

"Where's Hotch?" JJ asks.

"He went to the other room to speak to someone that paged him. I don't think he would object about dinner at least. The other he might have a problem. We are on a case." Reid says, trying to be the Hotch part of the conversation.

"Spence, don't be wet blanket. No harm will come from just asking. Don't be so serious all the time. Now I have to go call Garcia with the info. Back in a second. If Hotch comes back, tell him I think we figured out the case and we were invited to dinner. Ask him about dinner and a possible trip to the school." JJ says, rushing out to the squad room to use a land line phone.

Hotch's on another line with Garcia. "So anymore news?"

"Not about her past. She's genuinely a good person. JJ couldn't have had a better friend." Garcia says slowly.

"What do you mean 'had'?" Hotch asks.

"There was a 911 call at three-fifteen this afternoon. It was a passer by at Mrs. Mason's house. He says that they found her dead on her porch. Her house was ransacked. JJ's house too. I don't know how to tell her of Mrs. Mason's death. Oh, that's her ring on the other line. Should I answer it or let it go to voice mail?" Garcia asks.

"Let it go to voice mail. I don't think we should tell her quite yet. We need to make sure she's not working the case. That's why we need to quickly wrap this case up. She needs to get back and deal with this."

"Ok. Do you want to call me back later to let me know what's going on?"

"I will. Call the police station if you need me or if something comes up." Hotch says.

"Ok. Talk to you later. I will keep tabs on JJ's house and get the police report to put on her desk. Take care. Good luck. Bye." Garcia hangs up. Hotch hangs up and goes to the conference room.


	4. Chapter 4

Her past catches up with her.

I don't own Criminal Minds and/or Higher Ground. Might not be suitable for younger children. Mild vilence and some swearing.

Chapter 3

"Hey guys. Anything new on the front?"

"Yeah, JJ came in. She said she has some info on the girl. She went to call Garcia. She needed to have a few things looked up. She wants to go to dinner with Officer Jensen and a few of his friends that run a school for troubled teens. I think we should meet these people. They could stop future unsub." Gideon says, trying to convince Hotch

"Sure we can go for dinner. Not booze though. In case soething breaks on the case. Who are these friends of Officer Jensen?"

"They run this school for troubled teens. Jensen was a student there and look at the results." Gideon tells Hotch all he knows.

"Ok. What info does JJ have on the case?"

"She said something about names and a son of Mr. Fellows, she said something about a boy taking the girl because his father didn't want him, but wanted the girl. So in a short, jealousy." Gideon says, trying to make it sound like she might be right. Just as Gideon finished his sentencs, JJ walks in.

"Hey Garcia didn't answer her phone. So I left a message. So if Hotch doesn't mind, we can go eat and then come back to get the information later. Do you guys want to go to Rusty's now and I'll meet you there. I have to call Mrs. Mason to see how she is. When I last talked to her she was coming down with a cold or the flu. I want to just check on her." JJ says, sounding worried

"No! Call her later. She might be sleeping. You don't want to wake her if she sick. Wait until tomorrow." Hotch says.

"Ok, well you guys go ahead. I'll be there in a minute. I have to check on something before I go." JJ says.

"Ok. See you soon." Hotch says, as the team head out of the station.

"Hello, Martha. It's Jen. I was just calling to see how you are. I guess you're sleeping, which is good. I'll call you later. Take care." JJ says and hangs up then leaves.

At Rusty's the team waits for Officer Jensen. "What time did he say to be here?" Hotch asks.

"He said about six. It's five after. I'm sure he'll be here any moment. Let's start with an appetizer. Myself, I'm going to start with a salad. But I think I'm going to have the steak. Mmmmm, that sounds so good. I remember the onion rings are real good…Never mind." JJ says, realizing she was just going to reveal something from her Shelby past. She was able to stop herself though.

"What were you going to say about the onion rings?" Reid asks, taking a sip of the water that was brought when they first got there.

"Nothing. I was thinking of a place at my family home in Michigan. It's onion rings were so delicious. Maybe we should try the onion rings here and see if they come close to The Depot. Maybe some baked potato skins. Excuse me while I use the restroom." JJ says standing up and heading to the ladies room.

"How did she know where the restrooms are?" Pentiss asks.

"Maybe it was the sign." Hotch says, pointing to the sign the said restrooms and an arrow.

"Oh. Well, I guess I didn't see it. So what are you going to have to eat?" Pentiss says trying to change the subject.

"Why were you so suspicious of JJ? If anyone should be under suspicion is you. We don't know you as well as we know JJ. So why are you trying to turn us on JJ. She's more part of us then you." Reid says, defensively.

"No. I wasn't trying to get you to turn on JJ. I just didn't see the sign. I'm sorry I said anything. Excuse me, I'm going to go to the restroom." Prentiss gets up and heads to the restroom in a hurry. When she gets there she goes into the one empty stall and throws up. JJ comes out of her stall and goes to wash her hands.

"Are you ok? Do you want me to get anyone for you?" JJ asks from outside the stall door.

"No. I'll be fine thanks."

"Emily, is that you?"

"Yeah. Please don't say anything to the others. They wouldn't understand. You know guys. It's just nerves. I'm fine now." Prentiss says, flushing the toilet and coming out of the stall. She walks to the sink and rinses her mouth out and looks at JJ.

"No problem. Are you sure you don't need to go to the hospital or something?"

"No. Just stress. Are you ready to go back to the male dominate crowd out there?"

"Yeah. We can handle them. Just as long as we stick together. Plus, we have Garcia on our side at home. That's more than those guys can say." JJ and Prentiss laugh. They walk out to the table together.

"So, what's the gossip going now? JJ asks.

"We were just talking about family. And how we all seem to feel like a weird family. Now a days people seem to consider collegues more family then their real families. Do you agree or disagree?"

"Well, I agree, but also disagree. I love my family. But I spend so much time with you freaks that it's hard not to consider you all my family. I mean, Penny knows the must about my non-existing love life. Reid knows more about the little habits that no one else seems to catch. Me included. Hotch is my boss, but yet he know about my life before Quontico. Gideon is the go to guy if you need to talk about something and you don't want anyone else to know. Morgan, I still haven't figured you out. I guess you are like a big brother, always watching all our backs. I want to thank you all for being there when me or any of us need each other." JJ says, almost in tears.

"You aren't going to start singing feelings are you?" Morgan says, mockingly.

"No you jerk!" JJ says, throwing a roll at him as she laughs.

"What about me JJ?" Emily asks, feeling not part of the group.

"Well, to be honest Emily, you haven't been in our team long enough. But I do consider us friends. Like when we get back home, I think you, Pen and I need to hit the bar sene and have some fun. What do you think?" JJ says with a big smile on her face. Emily smiles back at JJ.

"I'm in!" Emily yells and laughs.

"Ok,ok no more girlie talk. Next thing you girls are going to do is ask us guys to hold your purses." Morgan says. He gets scary looks from both the girls.

"Man, I think you better apologize. It could be hazardous to your health. As in they are going to tare you a new one." Reid says, getting a scary vibe from the girls.

"We are going to go shoot some pool. When we come back, lets see if Mr. Shovanistic Male has gone bye-bye. And I sincerely hope he leaves pretty damn fast." JJ says. All the guys look at her in shock. This was not the way JJ acted. Especially around Hotch and Gideon. The girls walk over to the pool table and the stand there for a few minutes talking among themselves.

"WOW girl. What was that? I think Hotch's going to have to get a new jaw. When you said that, Hotch's jaw hit the floor. I wish I'd said that. But I'm also glad I didn't. Are you going to apologize when we go back over?" Emily asks.

"I don't think so. We've to put up with all there sexist jokes and stereo types. Maybe they'll respect us a little more." JJ says as she picks out her pool stick. She rubbs the blue chalk on the tip and starts to rack up the balls.

"Maybe we are more alike then you think." Emily says picking out her pool stick.

"Do you want to break?" JJ asks.

"Sure. " Emily says. JJ lifts the triangle plastic racker. Emily leans down, and lines up the shot. She shoots and the first ball to sink was a stripe. But she sank four more of her balls and two of JJ's.

"Wow, that's pretty good Prentiss. You play before?" JJ asks as she leans over and lines up a shot.

"I have played before. Just not professionally. My mom hated it when I played. She said it made me look like a punk. She had high standards of how you're supposed to behave in public." Emily says as she travels back in time in her mind. Hearing her mother disapproving voice, "Sorry. Haunting old memories. My turn?"

"Yeah. Don't let your mother bother you. I think all mothers bother their daughters at least one time in their life." JJ says, moving out of the way so Emily had room to take her shot.

"What'd your mother bothered you about?" Prentiss asks JJ.

"I-I can't think of anything right now. Do you want your drink?" JJ says, changing the subject.

"Yeah, thanks." Emily says.

"Back in a sec." JJ says walking over to the table. She gets there and grabbs the glasses. The guys are quiet. Morgan stands up and is about to say something.

"Don't say it please. I just need to cool off. She walks toward the pool table. Just beyond the pool table, JJ sees Peter and Sophie walk in. The sheer shock of seeing them is greater then she thought. She bumps into the bar counter and drops the glasses. She then falls on the broken glasses, cutting her head and leg. "UH!" She hardly moves. Emily runs over and grabs a towel from the bar counter. She gently puts the towel on her head, but feels some glass in the cut. JJ passes out.

When JJ came to, she's on the restaurant floor. The first person she sees is Gideon.

"JJ, are you ok? You're the last person I would expect to faint." Gideon says with a grin.

"I don't know. My body hurts. Oh God, am I lying on the broken glass?" JJ asks, trying to get up. Gideon and Morgan are on both sides of JJ and pulls her up to a standing position. Her leg is still bleeding. That's when Reid comes over and wraps a towel around that gash. When he goes to apply pressure, JJ screams in pain. Reid feels a shard of glass embedded in the cut.

"JJ, we need to get you to a hospital. There's glass in your head and leg. It's deep."

"Wonderful! Officer Jensen's supposed to meet us here." Just as JJ says this, she starts to lose the ability to maintain standing. Morgan catches her.

"Go ahead and lean on me. You're losing a lot of blood. Let me carry you to the SUV." As he picks her up to carry her, someone approached them.

"Can I be of some help?" A gentleman asks. JJ looks over and sees Peter.

"I think we need to get you to the hospital." Hotch says to JJ.

"I might be able to get the glass out. You still need to go to the hospital and get stitches." Peter says.

"I think a hospital's the best idea JJ." Hotch says again.

"I think tha…" JJ passes out. This time she doesn't wake.

"Jen, wake up. Come on JJ, this isn't funny." Morgan says, taping her face trying to get her to come around. Morgan scoops her up and hurries to the black SUV. Gideon and Hotch are right behind them.

"Stay here! We'll call with news!" Hotch yells over his shoulder to the rest of the BAU team. Peter and Sophie go over to the table where Reid and Prentiss remained.

"Excuse me, I don't want to be a bother, but can we ask what happened to the young lady?" Peter asks with concern.

"Because I don't feel comfortable giving out info about a friend." Reid says.

"Reid, don't be rude. Hello, I Special Agent Prentiss with the FBI. This is Special Agent Dr. Spencer Reid. The young lady, Special Agent Jareau bumped into the bar counter and dropped a few glasses. She has a piece of glass in her head and leg. I'm afraid it might've hit a main artery in her leg. JJ, sorry: Jennifer never passes out. I think when Officer Jensen gets here, we should go to the hospital. JJ was acting strange before the accident." Prentiss says, not really talking directly to anyone.

"My name's Peter Scarbrow and this is my wife, Sophie. If we can help in any way, please call us. Here's my card." Peter says.

"I thought Jensen would be here by now." Reid says, worried.

"Brady gets busy sometimes. Would you like us to get word to Brady and then show you to the hospital?" Peter asks.

"Sure. That would be great. I've never seen JJ in trouble like that. She's quite an agent. She's pretty damn good with a gun too. She's saved a lot of people. She never seems to waver. Well there's that one time when those wild dogs attacked her. She had to shoot them. She was in shock. Plus she was worried about Reid. Some guy kidnapped him and she couldn't stop this guy." Prentiss says.

"My God! Well obviously you both are ok." Peter says, shocked at what he's just heard.

"She has a fear of dogs now. Of course she denies it, but I see it if she sees a picture of a dog in a magazine or a case file. I mean those dogs ate that woman." Reid says.

"Reid!" Prentiss yells.

"What? It's true. I don't know of ANYONE who wouldn't be afraid of dogs after seeing them tareing a person apart. Oh, I'm sorry. I really shouldn't be talking about details of a case. So, what do you teach?" Reid asks, wanting some info on Peter.

"Well, I knid of teach a plethora of subjects. My main subject's hope and servival. A grate many of my students wanted to give up on life. Most of them had troubles at home. I tried to teach them how to push on and deal with their problems at home and really anywhere. Trying to stop potenial murderers, rapist, robbers, prostitutes and addicts. Even if it affects just one students then I know it's worth the time. But it seems that I'm taking some of your potenial cases away." Peter says.

"Actually, we'd live with that. We've had too many as it is. JJ looks over all these cases and desides which cases need our immediate attention. It must be hard for JJ to chose. Especially when there are children. She amazes me. She stays so calm and reassuring." Prentiss says.

"Why are we just sittting here? We need to be at the hospital. She needs us.!" Reid says, with bad thoughts running through his head.

"We can talk to the sheriff and have him tell your cop friend that your waiting for him at the hospital. Then we can drive so you can follow. I'd like to check on her myself." Peter says.

"Sure! That'd be great!" Reid says getting up and heads toward the doors, "Come on. We really have to get there. I'm having a funny feeling."

"Yeah. I have a walkie-talkie in the truck that goes directly to the police. Curtis should be able to get your message to Officer Jensen." Peter says, turning around and exiting the restauarnt with Sophie and FBI agents in tow.

When they show up at the hospital, Peter and Sophie meet up with the FBI agents that followed then there. They all rushed into the ER. Emily went up to the counter and waited a few short seconds before she called for some help.

"Hello! Someone!" Emily says banging on the counter. A short, plump nurse comes over.

"Is there something I can help you with?" The tan nurse asks.

"I need to find out the statis of a patient that was brought in about an hour ago. Her name's Special Agent Jennifer Jareau." Emily says trying to throw the FBI label to get what she wants.

"Are any of you family?" The nurse asks.

"No, but she's my partner. See, I'm an FBI Agent too." Emily says holding out her cradentionals.

"Sorry, but only family members." Nurse says.

"I'm here fiance. We work together and fell in love. I just proposed yesterday. I haven't gotten her a ring. Do you have a suggestion about where to get a nice diamond at a decent price?" Spencer says.

"Good try honey, but I don't buy it. You can wait with the three gentlemen that brought her in. They're in the ICU waiting room. You go down this hall. Turn right where it dead ends. You should see them in the room. Good luck to you all. Hope she's ok." The nurse says, then returns to what she was doing.

"Thanks!" Spencer says as he starts to rush.

They get to the waiting room. Gideon and Hotch are the only ones there.

"Hey, any news on JJ?" Emily asks.

"She nicked an artery. They had to open her up more to remove the glass and then seal the nick. She'll have to stay here at least overnight. They wanted us to see if any of us are AB negitive blood type. She may need some." Hotch says.

"Where's Morgan?" Reid asks.

"He's being tested. Gideon is O negative. I've had hepitis B as a child. Morgan wasn't sure of his blood type. Do any of you know your blood type?" Hotch says.

"I believe I'm AB negitive. I wouldn't mind getting tested." Sophie says.

"Who are you two?" Gideon asks.

"My name's Peter Scarbrow and this is my wife, Sophie. We came into Rusty's to have dinner with Brady and you folks. We just wanted to make sure she's alright." Peter says calmly.

"That's nice of you. Thanks for helping us get here." Reid asks.

"No problem. Any word on her progress?" Peter asks.

"Well, she should be ok. I worry about her. She's very professional. She shows sympathy and empathy. She's shown bravery and courage. We couldn't be more lucky to have her on our team. She just doesn't take care of herself to well." Hotch says.

A nurse comes and wisks away Sophie. Not too long after words, Morgan slowly walks in. "I just gave like half of my blood for JJ. She better take that as an apology." Morgan says.

"I'm sure she will Morgan." Hotch says.

"Any word yet?" Morgan asks.

"No. We'll just have to wait and see." Gideon says.


	5. Chapter 5

Her past catches up with her

I don't own Criminal Minds and/or Higher Ground. Might not be suitable for younger children. Mild vilence and some swearing.

Chapter 4

The next morning, the whole team had to be woke up by the doctor. "Excues me, Agent Hotchner."

"Yes, how's JJ. I mean Jennifer?" Hotch asks, still groggy.

"She's just fine. Everything went great. She'll have to be here for two or three days. Other than that she'll make a full recovery. I also wanted to thank the people who donated the blood. She didn't use it all. We'd like to keep a record incase they are back this way." They docotr says.

"I'll let them know. Thank you again doctor." Hotch says, shaking his hand.

"They're wheeling her into her room. You can see her as soon as the nurse comes for you. Well, good luck to you all. Take care." The doctor says. He walks away. Hotch wakes the rest of them.

"Morgan, Reid, Gideon, Prentiss, wake up. JJ's going to be fine. Morgan, can you go call Garcia and let her know that JJ's fine and we'll have JJ herself call her soon?" Hotch asks.

"Sure. After I see her for my own eyes. Then I can find the room after the call."

Five minutes later and nurse comes to the waiting room. "Jearau. People with Jearau."

"Right here. Can we see her now?" Hotch asks.

"Yes, for just a few minutes. She needs to rest. Only two at a time. You two first." She says, pointing at Hotch and Morgan. They follow her and say nothing. They enter the room and are taken aback. Hotch walks over to the bed and grabs JJ's hand. Morgan positions on the other side of JJ. Hotch gently wisps away of a piece of hair from her face. JJ wakes up and smiles.

"Hey there sweetie. How ya feelin'?" Hotch asks, smiling back at her.

"Hotch, what's happening?"

"JJ, you had an accident. You had to have surgery. Are you in any pain?"

"No. Just a little tired. Where's Gideon, Reid and Prentiss?" JJ asks.

"Honey, they'll be coming in a few minutes. We can only be here in pairs. Morgan's going to call Garcia. So she'll now you're ok. We've all been worried about you. Can I get you anything?"

"No. I think I'm good. Officer Jensen, what happened with him?"

"He got held up on a case. He got word that you were here. He's going to stop by later." Hotch says.

"JJ, I donated my blood. Forgive me?" Morgan says, giving JJ puppy dog eyes.

"Yes, you're forgiven. Sorry I was so crabby. I just haven't been myself lately. I don't know what's with me." JJ looks away.

"It's ok. You just get better fast. We're going to let everyone else come see you so you can get back to sleep." Hotch says, bending over and kissing her on the cheek. Morgan follows suit on the other cheek. Hotch and Morgan leave, and Reid and Gideon walk in a few minutes later.

"Hi guys. See, I'm fine. Thanks for caring. I'm just real tired. Can we talk a little later. I know Prentiss wants to come and see me, but I'm just so tired. Could you just explain it to her. I'll call you when I wake up. Thank you for coming. Sorry for cutting this short. See you guys later?" JJ says, yawning repeatedly.

"Sure JJ. No problem. You rest. We'll talk later." Gideon bends down and kisses her on the cheek. Reid says nothing, but kisses her on the other cheek. Then they leave.

Eight o'clock that night, JJ calls Peter and Sophie and asks them to come to the hospital in the morning. They agree.

The next morning Peter and Sophe knock and slowly walk in the room. JJ's flicking through the channels of the TV.

"Agent Jearau?" Peter says.

"Yes? Oh, Peter! Sophie! Get in here!" JJ says, excited.

"So, your a big time FBI agent. I see you're doing very well for yourself." Peter says.

"Yeah, I'm oddly enough in the behavior anylasis unit. I help children. I go after all the bad people. I've seen a lot of things in my short time being an agent. Mostly I spin the info to the news people. I've been in a few field cases as well. But all in all I'm happy. I just hate lying to my small circle of friends. And my bosses." JJ says, her smile faded.

"But you have to sweetheart. You don't want to be found by Walt or Josh. Have the FBI guys kept you in the loop about Walt and Josh?" Peter asks.

"No. I have been tracking them myself. Did you know they both have been released! I can't even warn Jess! I kind of was shocked to see you guys walk into Rusty's last night. I bumped into the bar counter, lost my grip on the glasses and dropped them. Of course I landed on them. You can't imagine how many times I wished I could call you or come see you. Like one of our recent cases, I had to shoot dogs. They were going to rip me apart! I'd seen what was left of this lady. I felt so guilty because Spence was taken and tortured. I shouldn't have let him separate from me. It was like leaving Jess all over again. Even Morgan blamed me." JJ says, almost shedding tears.

"Honey, it wasn't your fault. You just feel like you have to protect everyone. It can't be done. Does Spence blame you?" Sophie asks.

"No. But Spence wouldn't say that to me even if I were to blame." JJ says. Then Reid walks in.

"Hey JJ. Oh, I didn't know you had company. Would you like to be alone?" Reid asks politely.

"No! Spence, this is Peter and Sophie Scarbrow. They're the couple, Officer Brady's old high school teachers," JJ says, smiling. Reid shakes their hands. "Peter, Sophie. This is Special Agent Dr. Spencer Reid." JJ says.

"Yes, I remember them from last night. Nice to see you two again." Spencer says politley.

"Nice to see you again as well. So you two work together." Peter says, making conversation.

"We sure do. So you guys take care of troubled teens. Hey, do you have any interesting stories of the high school?" Spence asks.

"What about the time I caught some of the girls smoking? What was their punishment for that?" Peter asks with a big grin. "Oh, the caking baking incedent. I thought that they'd make a cake from scratch. Frankenstien looked better then that cake. I remember Daisy saying that we must kill it." Peter says, laughing with JJ. "We were making it for Hannah. She even feared it. Sophie won't let me be alone in the kitchen for fear I'll try to bake again." Peter says through laughs.

"What about the Morp?" Sophie says.

"What's a Morp?" Reid asks.

"It's a back words Prom. No dates. No one will feel left out." Peter says. "I've recently talked to Scott. An old student. He's married and has a son. Their expecting their second child in a couple months. Scott Jr.'s three. Their having a girl. Guess what their naming her?" Peter asks.

"Sophie." JJ guesses.

"No. Shelby Ann Barringer." Peter says.

"OH!" JJ says, crying.

"I didn't mean to make you cry." Peter says, trying to comfort JJ.

"Have you heard from any others?" JJ asks wiping her tears away.

"Daisy's still single. She's a psychologist." Peter says, then Sophie, Peter and JJ bust out laugh simultaneously.

"What makes that funny?" Reid asks.

"Because Daisy was goth and she didn't care about anyone. Or so she liked to lead to people to believe." Sophie says.

"Juliette and Auggie got married. She's a fashion editor for a magazine. And Auggie has his own gallery." Peter says.

"Not 'Just Juls'! Wow!" JJ says.

"Yup. That's the one." Sophie says.

"Sounds like most of your old students do real good." JJ says.

"Ezra died from a gun shot wound. He was walking into a convient store that was being robbed. Even when he was down, he saved a couple of young kids. He died at the scene." Peter says.

"Oh Gees! When?" JJ asks through tears.

"Five years ago. There's a memorial Park with his name. And David's over in Iraq." Peter says.

"Wow. That's wonderful." JJ says.

"Kind of. Now he and his father fight together." Sophie says.

"Well, I guess that's mature. So how did you guys come to the idea of a school in the woods and have it be for troubled kids?" JJ asks.

"We actually bou…" Peter starts to talk , but is interrupted by officer Jensen, who walks into her room.

"Hey how you feelin'?" Officer Jensen asks.

"Much better, thanks." JJ says.

"These two are the people I was talking about." Officer Jensen says.

"I wanted to apologize for not having dinner with you. I'm hoping we can have a rain check. I should be released in a day or two. I really have to get back to work. We have to get Maggie back. If my theory's right, she's not in danger. But as I stated, it's a theory. Hell, can you hand me my cloths to me?' JJ asks, anyone.

"No! You're staying until the doctor releases you. We need you in tip top shape." Hotch says walking in on the conversation.

"So, is Maggie found? Was my theory right?" JJ asks.

"Yes. We found Maggie with her half brother and his friend at a hotel in the next town over. The lady the neighbor girl says was driving was a guy friend. He just had long hair. He wasn't going to hurt Maggie. He just wanted to get to know his sibling. They're all reunited about an hour ago. John Fellows' getting to know the son he never got a chance to know. You should take the profiler exam. You really are starting to catch on." Hotch says, smiling.

"Everyone did their paper work, right?" JJ asks with hope.

"Yes. You know they're all secretly scared of the paper work Nazi." Hotch says with a held back laugh.

"Hey! Aaron Hotchner, you don't want to cross me!" JJ says, mockingly stern.

"No ma'am. She can get vicious." Hotch jokingly says to everyone in the room.

"I need all the paper work. I can't officially close this case without ALL of the paper work." JJ says.

"Your parents must have done a great job with you." Sophie says, smiling like a proud mom.

"Yes, they did. Thank you for saying so. JJ says smiling. "Hotch, when can I get out of here? I thought we'd go see the Scarbrows' school before we leave. I also would like to stop by the Fellows' home and apologize for not being there to bring Maggie home with you guys. I can have my doctor at home keep progress of my head and leg. Plus, I have a ton of paper work to get caught up on. I'll be careful at the school. Please!" JJ says, like a kid at Christmas, begging to open one gift early.

"We'll see about tomorrow. Alright? I'll go talk to the doctor. But you have to follow the instructions of the doctor to the letter. And you and I have to have a talk on the plane ride home. Deal?" Hotch says, in his stern boss voice.

"Deal sir." JJ says, seriously. Hotch walks out the door.

"When would be a good time for us to come for a visit? Officer Jensen, will you join us?" JJ asks Peter and Brady.

"After you get out of the hospital. If your up to it. I know you have to get back to your main office. Brady, can you join us?" Peter says.

"I'm sure sheriff Brown will be fine with this. Agent Jearau, after words would you accompany me to lunch?" Brady asks.

"I think that would be great." JJ says, smiling.

Hotch walks in, "The doc's going to be giving you a crutch. You're to keep all your weight off that leg. He also wants a call or fax from your doctor at home. He's getting the lab work together. He'll tell us how you're doing. This will determine how well your healing. Then he'll tell us when the earliest release date will be. Mr. and Mrs. Scarbrow, we'll be thrilled to come up to your school. We'll find out when, shortly." Hotch says.

"Great! We'll go get set up and you just give us a call with the date and time. If you need anything, just call." Peter says, pulling Sophie out the door. Prentiss, Gideon and Morgan walk in.

"Hey sweetheart! Here. Get better." Morgan says, handing JJ a bouquet of flowers with a small balloon attached.

"How you feeling JJ?" Gideon asks, handing JJ a card and a small box.

"Fine. Really, I'm fine. The doctor's checking labs. With the results, he might let me out sooner. As soon as I'm out of here we're going to the Scarbrows' school. I can't wait. What's taking so long?" JJ asks impatiently.

"Calm down sister." Prentiss says, handing JJ a card and a bag of chocolate covered peanuts.

"Thanks Em. I just hate being laid up. Especially away from home. I'm worried about Mrs. Mason. I called her yesterday and got no answer." JJ says, worried and a little scared for her dear friend.

"We'll be home soon enough. Gideon, can I see you in the hall?" Hotch asks.

"Sure. Excuse me." Gideon says and walks out into the hall with Hotch. "What's up Aaron?"

"I got a call from Garcia last night. Mrs. Mason was killed and both their houses were ransacked. I'm worried about JJ, so I had Martha Mason checked out by Garcia. I wanted to make sure there was a Mrs. Mason. I'm trying to figure out what's been bothering her lately. I want to tell her when we're on the plane on the way home. We also need to get her to tell us why someone would want to trash her and Mrs. Mason's house. There's something really bad going on and I don't want JJ hurt by this because she feels she can't talk to us about it." Hotch says, worried like a dad.

"What could she possibly have that would cause someone to kill a defenseless old woman?" Gideon asks.

"We'll find out soon enough. Let's ask Emily or Garcia if she can stay with them for a while until we get to the bottom of this. JJ isn't going to like this, but she's going to have to understand." Hotch says.

The doctor and nurse walk past them and into JJ's room. "Ok, Jennifer. The tests are back. Your blood's clotting perfectly. No infection has accurrred. I don't see any real need to keep you. Nurse Vandale will get you set up and on your way. Be very careful young lady. That could have been much worse. I'll expect a call or fax in a few days. If I don't, I'll be calling Agent Hotchner and he'll deal with you accordingly. Take care of yourself. Bye bye." Doctor Ashner says.

"Thank you so much doctor. Bye bye doctor." JJ says

"Ok, this paper's to release you. This paper says that you understand and agree with what I just told you. Do you have any questions?" Nurse Vandale asks.

"I don't think so." JJ says.

"Here's a prescription for Darvacet for the pain. This is a script for kelfex, an antibiotic for fighting any infection. Don't take either one until after noon. Then follow the instructions on the bottle. Sign here and I'll take out the I.V." Nurse Vandale says.

Back at the police station, Officer Jensen oks his time away from the station with Sheriff Brown. The BAU team just pulls up in front of the station. They made a detour to the hotel so JJ could shower and change cloths for the mountain school visit. They're meeting Officer Jensen at the station to go with him to the school. Brady Jensen's so excited to revisit his favorite place on the planet with the beautiful Jennifer Jearau. Prentiss comes into the station to retreve Officer Jensen and be on their way.

"Officer Jensen, are you ready?"

"Yes Agent Prentiss. I'll be back later. If you need me, I'll have the two-way on." Brady says.

Him and Prentiss walk out. They're carrying on a conversation. Prentiss laughs. This bothers JJ. She doesn't know why. Then it hits her that she's jealous. Like Emily's trying to take Brady away from her. She then realizes that it's the way Shelby felt with Juliette and Scott. She tries to stop thinking about it, so she tries to take her mind off that and place it somewhere else. She gets excited thinking of seeing her old school that she loved. Prentiss and Jensen get into the SVU.

"Hello Jennifer. Are you feeling better?" Brady asks.

"Yes, thanks for your concern." JJ says, still sitting straight forward. Brady picks up on the tension JJ's putting out.

"Agent Prentiss, just go straight up this road. Just keep going. It leads right up to the parking lot of the school. " Brady says and sits back. He stays silent the whole drive up.

As they pull up to the school, JJ notices the admissions building and that cute mother bear and her cub totem pole. So far she doesn't notice anything different. Well, except maybe the students. She sees the students as being younger. Then she thinks, no it's her that's older. She smiles. Peter and Sophie come out of the admissions building and down the stairs to greet them. They all pile out of the two black SUVs.

"Hey, you guys made it! Did you want a tour first?" Peter asks.

"Sure."Hotch says.

"Great! Follow me." Sophie says. Just as they start to head into the admissions building, a young girl comes running up to Peter and Sophie.

"Peter! Sophie!" The girl yells.

"What Jade?" Peter asks.

"Will's run away! He left about fifteen minutes ago." Jade says.

"Is there anything we can do?"Hotch asks.

"Yeah. Jade go back to your dorm. We'll have a talk as soon as we get Will. Agent Hotchner, can you drive me down the road a little ways?" Peter asks.

"Sure. Would you like Gideon to came too? He's real good with psychology. Maybe he can help Will realize this is the best place for him." Hotch says.

"That would be great. I haven't had a kid this determined to leave since Scott Barringger." Peter says, frustrated.

The three men hurry over to the SUV and climb in. Sophie and the others just watch.

"Sophie, do you want me to call Curtis?" Brady asks.

"I think we should wait. Peter might find him. If Peter calls and can't find him, then we'll call Curtis in. Peter always knows just where to find the runners. It's like he's a radar. Would you like something to drink or eat?" Sophie asks.

"No! Sophie, we don't want to drive away your guests." Brady says, then laughs.

"Oh Brady! You're going to scare these nice people into thinking the food's bad here. I know it's not gourmet, but it does it's intended job." Sophie says smiling.

"I'd like something to drink. Maybe an apple, if you don't mind. I hadn't eaten since breakfast. I haven't had lunch. I don't think you can count a cup of tea and piece of toast lunch." JJ says.

"Sure, no problem. Follow me." Sophie says, motioning toward the dinning hall.

JJ uses the crutch, but isn't used to it. She accidently puts the crutch into a sink whole. She's knocked off balance.

"Ahhhhh!" JJ yells. She starts to fall. Brady catches her.

"Wooh! You ok?" Brady asks, with JJ nessled in Bradys arms.

"Yeah. Thanks. Could you help me stand up please. Can someone hand me that stupid crutch?" JJ says with a red face from embarrassment.

"Here you go. Are you sure you're ok?" Reid asks, feeling a little jealous.

"I'm fine. Just the klutz in me. If I didn't fall at least five times with this crutch, I'd worry about pod people taking over my body." JJ says, trying to joke about her klutziness.

"Would you like some help?" Brady asks.

"Just make sure I don't cause a kid to go running in the opposite direction, ok?" JJ says, smiling.

"Here, lean on me and use the crutch on the other side. We can get you to be an expert on that crutch." Brady says, then realizes that it didn't sound right. "I mean…"

"I know what you mean. Let's go get that drink. Here we go." JJ says, a little better on the crutch.

Sophie thought that it's cute to see those two nervous and awkward. It was like seeing Shelby and Scott falling in love all over again. They reach the dinning hall. They hear a comotion coming from the dinning room. Sophie and Morgan rush in to see what's going on.

"HEY! Stop this!" Sophie yells, trying to get the two guys to stop fighting. Sophie and Morgan pull the two boys apart. "Hank! Eli! What's going on with you two?"

"Eli's trying to take Barb from me. He's moving in on my territory." Hank says.

"Hello, Barb isn't your property. You two aren't married. Chill." Eli says.

"I'll chill you!"Hank says, leaping at Eli. Trying to get another shot at Eli.

"Hey! What's wrong with you two? You know better to fight. I'm calling a group meeting. Brady, could you keep them company while I deal with this?" Sophie asks.

"Sure. Do you want me to give them the tour?"Brady asks.

"You can show them around. Nothing too formal. Not until Peter and the other two agents get back. Thanks Brady." Sophie says, patting Brady's arm. "Thank you for your help with that situation Agent Morgan."

"No problem. I understand completely. You let us know if there's anything else we can do." Morgan says.

As Sophie heads to the space by the fireplace, the rest of them head to the tables. JJ's the first to sit down. A flood of memories wash over JJ. She remembers eating with her small knit family.

Flash

"_Shelby, can I have your bacon?" Scott asks. _

"_Sure. It's like drywall anyway. Here. Eat in good health." Shelby says, in her Shelby attitude. _

"_So, Shel. What did Peter want to talk to you about?" Kat asks out of curiocity._

"_Nothing. Ok, fine. It's my grades. He gave me this big cheery speech about how I'll need my grades to be good because I need to get into a good college. Yeah right. Like I can afford college. Anyhow, we're going to go out to that stupid wall thing again." Shelby was lying. Peter told her that she's going to be going home to her abusive step-father, Walt. She didn't want the others to know. It would just hurt even more. She didn't know what to do about Walt. Sure, he had a heart attack, but she always thought you had to have a heart first. She doesn't know if she's going to tell her best friend, Daisy. She'll miss her. Even Juliette._

_Flash_

"JJ! Are you ok?" Reid asks.

"What?" JJ reponses, not hearing everything in her quick time tavel back to reality.

"Are you ok? You were making a noise. Do you want juice or water?" Reid asks.

"I'm fine. I think it's the meds. I think I'll take the water. With ice please." JJ says.

"The kids have to cook and clean. They pretty much do all the chores. It gets shifted around to all the different groups. Like one week your on laundry. The next week your on dishes. And if you don't participate, you don't get to eat on plates. Or you wear dirty cloths. It's a method of teaching consequents. It's a great method." Brady says, talking to Prentiss and Morgan.

JJ sits there watching the children all around the two connected room. JJ sees the group meeting going on in the other room. She recalls one of her last meetings. It was the day of the Morp.

Flash

_Shelby's angry that Scott's leaving and Juliette and Shelby fought over a dress. Sophie made them go for a run. Then she sat them both down and did a therapy technique. They had to be the other person and state why they were fighting. If they weren't honest, then they wouldn't be able to go to the Morp. __That's when Shelby realized that she was trying to ruin something that couldn't go her way. _

_Flash_

JJ's wondering if coming back here's a big mistake. All these memories coming back in a title wave. Reid comes back with the water and sees JJ sitting there. She wasn't doing anything but staring. Her face's pale. Reid calls her name a couple of time and gets not response. He finally has to touch JJ's shoulder. She snaps back into the present once again.

"JJ, hello. Where were you?" Reid asks, handing JJ a cool cup of water.

"Sorry, just thinking. Thank you for getting my water. So, have you talked to any of the kids?" JJ asks Reid.

"Yeah, this one girl asked me if I was a new student. How embarrassing is that?" Reid says, with some laughter.

"Well Reid, you're quite young. No one around here knows that you're a genius. Did you ask her what her name is?" JJ asks.

"No. When I told her that I wasn't a student, she ran off. I felt like a had two heads or something. I never thought she'd react that way. It's a little strange. I hope she's ok. She seems to have something bothering her." Reid says.

"Maybe she could sense that she could talk to you. But when she found out that you weren't a student, she didn't want to get your hopes up that she'd tell you. She probably looks at you as the enemy. You know, a grown up. It's hard for a teen to trust adults." JJ says.

"When did you become a profiler. I'm thinking the same thing. I thought maybe you could find her and see if she would talk to you." Reid says.

"I'd love to help her, but I think I'd be stepping on Peter and Sophie's toes. If they don't mind, then I'd be happy to help. What did she look like?" JJ asks. But before Spencer could answer her, Brady chims in.

"Agent Reid, could you help me in the kitchen. I had Peter and Sophie pick something up on their way back home. It's to big for me to carry on my own. Agent Morgan, could you and Agent Prentiss help Agent Jearau to the den. Have her sit on the sofa, and blind fold her." Brady asks.

"Sure. This outta be fun." Morgan says.

"Agent Morgan, let's keep it clean around the students please. Peter would kick my can if I didn't say that. Sorry." Brady says.

"No problem. Sorry, I forgot where I'm at. Ok, come with us Miss Jearau." Morgan says, lifting JJ up under her arm pits.

"Morgan! I can get up on my own. He ment just to help me by standing on one side and Prentiss on the other. I also have my crutch!" JJ yells, making a scene.

"I'm sorry JJ. You don't have to yell at me. What's wrong with you?" Morgan asks, more concerned than hurt.

"I'm sorry Morgan, I need to go for a walk and get some air. Could you please tell Officer Jensen that I'll return soon. I just really need some air. I won't go to far. I know I'm supposed to stay off my leg. I just need to get out of this building." JJ says, hurrying as fast as she could out of the building. Prentiss and Morgan never seen her move that fast and with a crutch.

JJ walks outside and sees all the kids out there. Each group doing their own thing. Some were working on a garden. Some were playing basketball and soccer. Others just sat around talking. JJ then saw this young girl sitting all by herself on the dock. She had blond hair like JJ. JJ's getting this vibe from her that she just had to meet this girl. So JJ hobbled over to the dock.

"Hello, do you mind if I sit here too?" JJ asks.

"Sure, it's a free country." The young girl says with no emotion.

"Hi, I'm Jennifer." JJ asks.

"I'm whoever you want me to be." The girl says, not taking her eyes off the lake.

"Oh, come on. Really, what's your name?" JJ says, getting a little frustrated.

"Molly! Ok! It's Molly!" Molly yells, finally looking at JJ. When JJ sees her face, a pain cuts deep in JJ's heart. Molly's face was black and blue. There was hardly any place that wasn't black or blue.


	6. Chapter 6

Her past catches up with her

I don't own Criminal Minds and/or Higher ground. Might not be suitable for younger children. Some swearing and a little violence.

Chapter 5

JJ sits next to Molly. JJ puts her hand on Molly's back. She winces and pulls away.

"Oh, I'm sorry if I hurt you. What happened to you?" JJ asks, almost too afraid of the answer.

"My mom's boyfriend beat me up. I was out past my curfew. He did other things too. That's all I'm saying. So you can go back to Peter and Sophie and tell them to piss off. They can make me physically stay here, but I don't have to _'open my heart_' as they put it. I'm just glade to be away from that dumb ass. I don't understand why my mom would want a jerk off in prison. I guess she got what she wanted. I'm never going back. I'll run away before I step foot in **THAT **house. I'll even kill myself before I go back." Molly says, silently crying.

"I'm sorry you feel that way. I really wish you would give Peter and Sophie a chance. They really are good people. If you can keep a secret, I can tell you that they really do good here. Can I trust you to keep a secret between you and I?" JJ asks.

"Yeah." Molly says, eager to hear one of her secrets.

"I came here when I was about your age. I refuse to open up and it built up so much that when it came out, it was out of control. They ended up sending back home. Back to my **HARD** life. When I was thrown back home, I had to face my problem. I didn't have Peter and Sophie there to help. But what I learned from them gave me the strength to do what I had to do at home and on my own. So maybe you could tell Sophie. I mean if you feel more comfortable tell a woman." JJ says, then sighs.

"What did you have to deal with?" Molly asks, with hope in her eyes.

"I was a constant runaway. Finally, my mom found me and brought me here. I was doing drugs, selling sex for money. I figured it was smarter to sell sex than being forced to by my stepfather. But when I went home to take care of him after a heart attack, I found out he was doing it to my younger sister too. I turned him into the police. Then they let me come back here. I couldn't believe how much I missed Peter and Sophie. They became my family. Along with my group. Now look at how well I've turned out. I'm in the FBI now. I stop things from happening to others. Here, take one of my cards. If you ever feel you need someone and you don't think Peter and Sophie are enough, call me. I will came here as fast as I humanly can. Just give Peter and Sophie a break. They need them now and then. Would you like to accompany me to the den? I'm getting a surprise from Officer Jensen. I think he's got a crush on me. But don't tell, I have one on him too. Kind of corny, isn't it?" JJ says, blushing.

"It's kind of cute. Sure, let's go. Do you need some help?" Molly asks, smiling now.

"Sure, please. I didn't think about getting up." JJ says, holding her hands out. She rolls over onto her good knee then grabs for Molly's hands. Molly wakes and up came JJ. Molly and JJ are laughing as they walked back to the den.

As they walk in, their was a commotion going on. A lot of confusion. Then it hit JJ that they probably got back with that young boy who ran away. Molly and JJ just went into the den and sat down the sofa in front of the fire. They were talking when Hotch and Gideon came in to see how JJ was doing.

"Hey JJ. Oh, excuse me for interrupting. How are you feeling JJ?" Hotch asks. Gideon just stands next to him while they wait for an answer.

"Fine Hotch. This is Molly. Did you guys get that young boy?" JJ asks.

"Yes we did. Nice to meet you Molly. Can we borrow JJ for a few minutes. We just need to talk business

for a few moments. I'll come get you in a second." Hotch says.

"Sure, no problem. Thanks JJ. I'll remember what you said and I won't tell anyone. Later." Molly says and then just walks away.

"What was that about?" Gideon asks.

"I just kind of ran into her and I got her to open up a little. Just told her to let the Scarbrows help her." JJ says smiling.

"Well, that's nice. Just don't get too involved. You are a FBI agent, not a therapist. Just let the Scarbrows do their thing." Gideon says.

"I know. What's up. Oh, god! Is it Maggie? What's wrong?" JJ asks.

"Well, we can't stay much longer. Something's happened back home and we need to get back by tonight. So we have maybe an hour before we have to go to the airport. So let's do our talk and then maybe a quick look around. So let's get started." Hotch says.

"What happened?" JJ asks.

"Let's talk about it on the plane. We need to focus on what we're doing here." Hotch says.

"Ok. Just let Peter or Sophie know about the time thing and then let me know where we are going to talk. If you want I can get them set for you to talk. Answer any questions first and then have questions at the end of the speak." JJ says.

"You just stay sitting. We'll let you know about what's going on." Hotch says. Hotch walks away.

"Do you need anything?" Gideon asks.

"Gideon, what going on back home? I need to know if I have to put on my sympathy face or my shoot to kill face." JJ asks.

"Well, you my friend are going to be sitting at a desk. At least until the doc ok's you." Gideon says, trying to dodge that question.

"Gideon, help me up please. Then I'll need my crutch." JJ says, trying to get up.

"What are you doing?" Gideon asks, trying to make her sit back down.

"I'm going to get Hotch set up for the speak. You know, my job." JJ says, pushing against Gideon's pushes.

"NO! You are supposed to keep off that leg." Gideon says.

"I have a job to do! Let me go!" JJ yells. Everyone stops and looks at JJ and Gideon.

"Sorry, we didn't mean to be so loud. Please, go back to what you were doing. Excuse us. Come on Agent Jearau." Gideon says, pulling JJ to her feet and then helping her out of the building.

Once outside Gideon starts the yelling, "JJ what the hell is wrong with you? You never yell at me. Please tell me it's the meds. This is a side I've never seen of you and I don't like it. Now straighten up. We need to be an example to these kids. Don't make me have to pull rank." Gideon says, his face getting a little red.

"Gideon, just because I'm hurt, doesn't mean I can't work. I know my body. I'm fine to stand if I don't put weight on that leg. If it starts hurting, I'll sit down. Why are you trying to control me. I know you and Hotch are my bosses, but right now we're not technically working. This is a little side favor. Now please, let me do this. You know I have to stay busy." JJ says, pulling out her PDA. "Now if we don't start, we won't be able to take that quick tour."

"Fine, go!" Gideon says, moving past her and walking into the building. JJ just stands there. She takes a deep breath and then lets it out. She hears someone calling her old name. She pretends not to hear it. She pretends that she's turning around and catches a glimpse of a guy that looks like Josh. She freaks out and falls back words and blacks out.

When JJ comes to, she sees the school doctor, Hotch, Gideon and the Scarbrows looking down at her, "JJ, are you alright?" Hotch asks.

"I think so. Where am I?" JJ asks.

"We're at that school. You were out here alone and then you passed out. What happened?" Hotch asks.

"I think I turned to quickly and just went down. I thought I… Never mind. Oh this is so embarrassing. I'll be in in a minute. Let me just pick up my pride, throw it over my shoulder and I'll be in. Thanks for the help." JJ says, knocking the dirt and grass off her hair and body.

"JJ, do you want some help up?" Reid asks.

"Sure, why not." JJ says, handing her hand to Reid.

"Why don't we just leave. You're obviously not ready for this and we don't have much time left. Why don't we reschedule for another time. I'm sure they'll understand." Reid says, holding her up against him.

"Could you send out Peter and Sophie. I'd like to apologize and explain things to them myself." JJ says, still dusting herself off.

"Sure." Reid says and leave her leaning against the outside wall.

Peter and Sophie come back out, "Sh.. Jennifer, what's going on?" Peter says.

"Peter, I could swear I just saw Josh over by the basketball court. I would've bet my life on it. I heard him calling 'Shelby'. I didn't act like that was my name, but I casually turned around. I thought he was getting closer to me. That was when I passed out. Hotch, my boss says something came up back home. So we have to leave. I'd really like to reschedule this thing. I want to make a few days of it." JJ says, but then her cell phone rings. "Just a minute. I need to get this." JJ says, then "Agent Jearau. Yes, Martha Mason is my neighbor, is something wrong? Yes that's her address. Yes that's my house. WHAT! NO! Oh god!" JJ yells and drops her cell phone. Tear run down her face, but she just stares ahead. Peter holds JJ while Sophie grabs her cell phone and talks to the caller.

"Hello. Yes, this is a friend. Could you tell me what's happened?" Sophie says, pausing to hear the caller. "Ok. She's in Colorado at this time. She's on her way back with her work team. I'll make sure they know what's going on and make sure she's taken care of. Thank you for calling. Now when she gets home, where does she go to make arrangements for the funeral? Does Mrs. Mason have an attorney?" Sophie pauses, "Ok. I'll make sure she goes to see him. Thank you for everything. Bye bye." Sophie says and closes her cell phone.

"What's going on?" Peter asks.

"Jennifer's neighbor was murdered last night. Both their houses were tore apart. She's listed as Martha Mason's next of kin and beneficiary of her estate." Sophie says, fixing to cry for JJ.

"This can't be true. Martha knew how to fight. I taught her self-defense. She doesn't like guns. She always watched my house when I was out of town. We were our only family we had. I let her down. I have to get home. DAMN THIS CRUTCH!" JJ says throwing it. She started walking toward the parking lot. Sophie goes after her. Peter goes into the building to get her FBI team.

"Agents, Jennifer's just received some bad news. You all need to go. You kids be good. I'll be back in a minutes." Peter says, ushering the team out.

"What's happened now?" Hotch asks.

"Agent Jearau just got a call about a friend at home being murdered. She's REALLY upset. Sophie went after her to make sure she's safe. She threw this and isn't being careful with her foot." Peter says, walking with them to the parking lot.

When they get to the parking lot, they see JJ sitting in one of the SUV's with Sophie holding her and trying to calm her down.

"It has to be Josh and or Walt! Sophie, they found me! They killed Martha because of me! I'm going to kill them!" JJ yells. Reid comes over and tries to take Sophies place.

"They won't understand Sophie! They can't!" JJ says, with hurt and anger deep in her voice.

"Who won't understand what?" Reid asks.

"Sophie, you have to call Agent Macinroe and find out if Jess is ok. If he found me, then he's probably found Jess. God knows what they'll do to her. PLEASE, get the word to the agents and then to Jess. Call me on my cell when you hear from any of them. Thank you guys. Talk to you soon. Please explain to Officer Jensen what's going on. Bye, it's nice to see you guys again." JJ says as they close the door and Peter and Sophie wave bye.

"JJ, would you like to tell us what's going on here? We have quite a trip ahead of us. I hope you're ready to talk." Hotch says.

"What did you guys want to talk about on the plane?" JJ asks.

"Well, we were going to talk about the murder and break ins. Garcia told us yesterday, but we knew the case had to be done. You couldn't do anything at home, but Maggie needed to be found." Hotch says.

"You knew and didn't tell me! How could you do that to me? She's my family! I'm all she had! I wasn't there to protect her. She's my best friend." JJ says, still crying.


	7. Chapter 7

Her past catches up with her

I don't own Criminal Minds and/or Higher Ground. Might not be suitable for younger children. Some swearing and mild violence.

Chapter 7

"Calm down JJ. They were trying to keep the heartache away for one more day. They knew you'd be professional about this." Reid says.

"There's nothing professional about keeping this from me. I could've been making funeral arrangements. I can't believe you Hotch! I'd never keep something of that importance from you!" JJ says, red in the face with anger.

"Oh really? What about all this stuff about Peter and Sophie knowing you? What do they know about you that we don't?" Hotch says, voice raised.

"That's not important." JJ says, trying play it off as small as getting someone else's mail.

"Do you know who is responsible for Mrs. Mason's death?" Gideon asks.

"I have a good idea. But I'm not saying anything until I know for sure. Besides, it's a very long story." JJ says, looking out the window, crying.

"JJ, you have to tell us! How can we help you if you don't tell us everything?" Reid says.

"I have to speak with Agent McEnroe. He's known me for a little over ten years. I need to take my vacation when we get back. I have a funeral to prepare and then I have to leave. It may mean I need a sabbatical. I don't know for how long. I'll explain more when we're on the plane." JJ says.

"This better be good. And you better tell us everything. I'm beginning to get a little scared and a little pissed." Hotch says, glancing back at JJ in the rear view mirror.

"You and me both Hotch." JJ says, thinking of Josh and Walt. JJ feared Josh more than Walt. JJ went silent for the rest of the drive to the hotel.

After they stopped at the hotel to collect their thing and then on their way to the airport, JJ's been silent. Everyone's nervous, but curious as well. As they board the plane, Morgan and Reid had to help JJ up the stairs. They all get settled around JJ in anticipation of her story. Like cub scouts would gather around the camp fire. Suddenly JJ had five sets of eyes on her. This was a little nerve wrecking. She had no idea where to start.

"Ok, I'm under witness protection. My sister, Jess too. I haven't seen my real mom in over ten years. When I was seventeen, my troubled life came back to haunt me." JJ says, looking down at her hands. Too afraid to look anyone in the eyes.

"At seventeen, how do you get a past?" Prentiss asks.

"Oh, it's possible. It's possible." Morgan says, looking from Emily back over at JJ.

"I got involved with this young man, Josh. He's very violent. He used to torture me. I was sent to Mt. Horizon and I thought I was rid of him. I was rid of him for about nine months. Josh got admitted to Mt. Horizon and tried to use psychological torture. I finally stood up to him and this really set him off. He got me alone in a locked room and over powered me. But Peter and my friends saved me. At the trial, Josh told me when he got out he was going to kill me. The FBI really worried that I was going to be targeted. They believed that Jess was in danger as well. Walt, our stepfather was in the same prison and they were informed that Walt and Josh planned to come after Jess and me. So I was whisked away from Mt. Horizon and my family and friends. I believe deep down that this is the reason I became an FBI agent. I've seen what some of our victims have gone through. I've been one of them. That's why I can be as sympathetic as I am. I'm not going to elaborate to what had happened to me in my previous life. It's another life and a different person. I like who I am now rather then the person I was then. Sure, I still remember, but it's almost like I'm watching the memories rather then reliving them. I don't think Walt can do any harm, he's old. Josh's defiantly the one to worry about. Jess needs to worry too. Josh doesn't know Jess, but if Walt wants her I'm sure Josh will get her for him. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but you know how the FBI works." JJ says, with a half smile.

"How come I wasn't even informed?" Hotch asks, a little upset.

"I guess they didn't think it was necessary. I mean I got into the Bureau on my own. Sure, it helped to have the money for college and the money for the house, but it was hard not having family. That's why Martha's my family. WAS my family. I'm a little afraid. I mean I haven't had to think about this in almost ten years. I believe I can handle myself better now. I have all the FBI training and I have a strong will to live and take them out. No one hurts my family and gets away with it. I need to find them before they find me. Any suggestions?" JJ asks, standing. She wasn't even worried about her leg.

"JJ, this sounds a little outrageous. You need to calm down. You can't just go after them willie nillie. We are your superiors and we can't allow this. So get it out of your mind. Now, do you want to talk more about your past? I mean just you and I." Gideon asks.

"No. Thank. I need to call Garcia and fill her in. Then I need to start making funeral arrangements. I also need a little rest. Boy, this is taking a lot out of me." JJ says, slowly setting down.

"Are you sure you're ok? You're looking a bit tired. Lay down." Gideon says, bending over JJ. He's feeling her head and neck for any sign of a fever. Gideon notices a small puncture whole in the base of the neck. He swipes the spot and gets a little blood drop on his finger. "JJ, when did this happen?"

JJ was out cold. They all gathered around her and try to wake her. They all begin to panic.

"Check her eyes. If she has small red dots then she's been drugged with a narcotic. If they look blood shot, then it's probably the pain or stress." Reid says, talking from experience. He learned a lot at his NA group.

"It looks like a little of both. Do you remember what to do?" Hotch asks, like a scared parent.

"Emily, take her in the bathroom and strip her down to her under garments. Then keep the cold water going and just gently squeeze most of the water out of the hand towel. Leave some in it and let it run all over her body. Head, chest, stomach and legs. Make sure you get her neck. Don't let her drink any water. If she does, then we can't test the blood when we get back to Quantico. She WILL ask for some, just don't let her." Reid says, helping Emily get JJ in the small airplane lavatory. Reid walks out and shuts the door. They can hear the water running. They all wait to hear if anything happens.

A few minutes later, they hear JJ scream. This rattles the guys. They can also hear a bunch of mumbling, but can't make out the words or who's saying what. It gets quiet and then the door slowly opens.

"Can I get some help here?" Emily says, trying to help JJ out of the small room.

"Oh, here." Morgan says, since he was the closet. They help JJ to the couch so she could lay down.

"I still don't understand why I can't have something to drink. My mouth feels like it has cotton in it." JJ says, slurring her speech like she was drunk.

"JJ, you can't drink anything. Sorry, but we're going to draw some blood when we get back to Quantico. I believe you've been drugged. Do you recall the mark that's on the back of your neck. It looks to be fresh. Gideon wiped over it with his finger and there was still wet blood." Reid asks, sitting on the edge of the couch as JJ tried to think back.

"I don't think so. Josh couldn't have done it. He wasn't close enough to inject me. It might of happened when I took off toward the cars. When I threw the crutch. It does have that butterfly nut. Or the tip of the screw. If you won't let me have something to drink, may I sleep until we get home?" JJ asks Reid. She gives him those little puppy eyes.

"Yeah, just don't get mad if we wake you every hour to make sure you're ok. Do you want a pillow or blanket?" Reid asks, as everyone else scatters.

"No Spence, I'm good. Thanks." And before Reid even got up, JJ was fast asleep. Reid went to talk to the group.

"Hey guys. This doesn't make any sense. She might just have a mark from the crutch. Let me see it." Reid says, hand out ready to take the crutch. Morgan hands the crutch over. Reid looks at the screw and butterfly nut. It is consistent to the whole mark in JJ's neck. "It matches. She's probably just drained from the news of Ms. Mason and the accident. Let's let her sleep until we get home. I still would like to have her blood tested as a precaution. If that's alright with you guys." Reid says looking at Hotch and Gideon.

"Fine with me. Why don't you take her right to the doctors when we get home. Have the doc look at her and maybe give her something to keep her calm. She's got a long road ahead of her. She's got a funeral to plan, a house to fix up again, all the stuff of Ms. Mason's to go through. Maybe we can all help her do these things. How about we make a list and sort out the details while she sleeps. This should relieve some of her tension." Gideon says, with everyone nodding in agreement.


	8. Chapter 8

Her past catches up with her

I don't own Criminal Minds or Higher Ground. Might not be suitable for younger children. Some violence and mild swearing.

CHAPTER 8

After the plane lands, Reid helps JJ off the plane and to his car. JJ's still sleepy from her nap.

"Reid, where are we going? My house's back in the other direction." JJ says, almost too upset.

"Calm down JJ. I was told to take you to the doctors. Gideon wanted your doc to see the leg and the head injuries. He also thought maybe the doc could give you something to help you sleep and something to help you through this rough time." Reid says, looking at her every so often as he drives.

"Why does everyone think I can't take care of myself! I took care of myself on the street when I was 15! I took care of Walt all on my own! I got myself through college and the academy! I had no family or friends! I can do this on my own!" JJ says, staring straight ahead and emotionless, except the yelling.

"JJ, you're brave and strong to do all those things. And all by yourself. But you aren't alone anymore. You have so much family and friends that love you. We can help carry the load. Just give us a chance to show you. We all care. We don't care that you kept the truth from us. We understand you had to and why you had to. But don't shut us out. Lean on us the way we lean on you. It goes both ways." Reid says, reaching over and gently grabbing her hand.

JJ's silent and still staring straight ahead. Then one single tear rolls down her left cheek. "The only time I felt like I had a family and friends was when I was at Horizon. Peter and Sophie are like the parents I always wanted and needed. Scott's the boyfriend that made me believe in ANY kind of love. Daisy's the best friend that I had lost on the streets. Juliet and Auggie are just the pains, like brother and sister. Ezra's the geeky best guy friend. He's the smart one that wanted to love me more than a friend. David, he's just repulsive. He annoyed me so. Kat, she's the big sister. Always telling me what to do. But I sure did miss them when I was in college studying. When I'd see other students going home for Christmas or Thanksgiving, it's like a knife in the heart. I never felt so alone. Never. I don't know how many times I picked up the phone to call Peter or Sophie. But then the thought of Josh made me put the receiver down. Wondering whatever happened to Jess. Hoping she's happy and healthy. Wondering if I might be an aunt. Wondering if Scott's married and has kids. Also about Daisy. The thought of all of them was what kept me from going crazy. Well, less crazy than I am now." JJ says, with a joking laugh.

"They sound like very special people. Maybe we can all meet them." Reid says, pulling into the parking lot of the doctors.

"Well, maybe most of them. Ezra's dead. David's over in Iraq. But the others seem to be doing well for themselves. I couldn't be more proud of them." JJ says, unbuckling her seatbelt and waiting for the car to come to a complete stop before opening her door.

"JJ, let me help you." Reid says, rushing over to her side of the car. Trying to stop her from exiting the car.

"Reid, I'm not helpless. I can handle this on my own, " JJ tries to push herself slowly up and out of the car. Her leg starts to ache a little too much to hold her. "I'll admit, I could use your help. The leg must be stiff." JJ says, trying to play it off as something it wasn't. Just trying to be more independent.

"Here we go." Reid says, pulling her up out of the car and balancing her with his arm around her waist.

"I can't believe how wiped out I feel. My body just aches." JJ says, as they slowly walk into the business looking office building.

Once inside, Reid sat JJ down in a waiting room chair and then went up to the register window to sign JJ in.

"Hello sir, who's the doctor seeing today?" The receptionist asks.

"Ms. Jennifer Jearau. The doctor told her to just come in. He'd had an accident in Colorado. We just got back. So the doc would like to see the extent of her injuries and go from there. So she doesn't have a set appointment." Reid says, rambling.

"Ok. Thank you. You may have a seat and the doctor will be out to talk you back in a moment." The receptionist says, closing the glass window. She had looked at Reid like he was crazy. So Reid turned around and walks over to JJ.

"Did you ramble?" JJ asks, not looking up from the magazine that she's flipping through.

"Yeah. She was looking at me like I was crazy. Who knows, maybe I am." Reid says, setting besides JJ. They set in silence for about ten minutes and the nurse came out and called JJ's name.

"Jennifer? Jennifer Jearau?"

"Here, just a second." JJ stands with Reid's help. "Ok, here we come." JJ says, as they slowly hobbled toward the open door that leads to the exam rooms. It took a few minutes and JJ had to be weighted.

"Ok, please step up and let me get your weight." The nurse says. JJ steps up and the nurse looks at the digital scale. "Ok, one hundred and ten pounds. I see you're down twelve pounds. Ok, we're going into room six." The three of them walk to the room. Reid sits in on of the two chairs and JJ climbs up onto the examining table. Her blood pressure and temperature is taken. " one o two over eighty. Very good. And your temp is normal. The doctor will be in shortly." The nurse says and leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

"Wow, I guess I'm normal. So, then maybe we can leave. I need to go make arrangements for Martha's funeral and hire someone to come clean the house so I can live in it again. I should probably sell the houses and get something closer to work. I just don't know if I could sell Martha's house. I have so many memories of our Christmas' and our Thanksgivings. I hope Josh and Walt didn't trash it too much. I have to stop by the office and pick up some files and drop some off. I have to get a hotel room for a few days. I have to pick out something to bury Martha. I have to go through all her papers and find out where she wants to be buried. Oh, or if she wants to be cremated. I have to get some of my cloths from my place. Check out the mess that's been made at my house. I don't have time to be here." JJ says, just rambling so fast. Then, when she stopped to take a breathe, the doc came in.

"Hey there Jennifer! So let's take a look at that leg and head. So what happened?" The doc asks, sitting on the stool that rolls and then rolls over to the exam table to look at JJ's injuries.

"I was in Colorado on an assignment. I bumped into a bar counter and dropped some glasses and of course fell onto the broken glass. I hit an artery in my leg. The doctor there was very good. He repaired the damage and stitched up the head injury. I just need to have you look at the cuts and sign a paper for work. It's workers comp." JJ says, talking really fast. Which made Reid a little nervous and the doc even looked a little suspicious.

"Jen, have you had any head aches?" The doc asks, looking concerned.

"Maybe. Why?" JJ asks, looking the same way he had just looked at her.

"Because, with a head wound, you have to make sure that you don't have a stroke from a blood clot. Have you had any vision problems or haulucanations?" The doc asks.

"I don't think so, but I'm becoming a bit paranoid." JJ says, a little on the scared side.

"What do you mean?" The doc asks. Reid was watching both of them with concern.

"Well, I have so much going on that I can't stand this. Then you add more stress by telling me I could have a stroke! I can't handle all this right now! I have work, a funeral to plan, papers to find, files to review and two houses to get clean! Plus I have to worry about Frick and Frack! I just don't have the patients to deal with it all! Oh god, I think I'm going to throw up!" JJ says, putting a hand over her mouth. The doc grabs the trash can and JJ vomits. Reid holds her hair back and rubs her back.

"Calm down Jennifer. I think we need to get you some xanax and maybe some ambein. The ambein will help you sleep. The xanax will help you calm down. I want to see you back next week to take a look at the progress of your injuries. If you are still upset, we'll talk about anti depressants. But you need to take some time off work. Deal with one thing at a time. Maybe have your friends and family help you with some stuff. Like Mr. Reid here. He came with you to help you. I'm going to call your boss and have him know what's going on. This is workers comp. Plus, you're dealing with the death of a close friend. Take some time to deal." The doc says, taking the trash can away.

"Doc, please don't say anything to my boss. I will take some time off. I promise. I just need to go get this stuff started. I feel fine. No head ache, vision or haulucanations. So I'll see you next week." JJ says, just tired.

"Well, I think she needs to have some blood drawn. We need to see if she has any drugs in her system. I'm sure it was just stress that made her tired. But we thought it might have been a drugging. See this mark." Reid says, moving JJ's long blond hair. The men look at the base of JJ's neck. "See this whole. It looks like a needle mark. But Jen thinks it was from the crutches. So just to see on the safe side. And can she walk on that leg, or does she have to use the crutch still?" Reid asks, like JJ wasn't even in the room.

"I think it will have to depend on what she's doing. If it's a long walk, then yes with the crutch. If it's just around the house and office, then no. Jennifer, do you want to use the restroom to freshen up. I'll be here with Mr. Reid. So if you think of any questions, you can ask when you get back."The doc says as JJ hops down and slowly hobbles to the restroom down the hall. "Mr.Reid, I'm concerned about Jennifer. Could you talk to your co-workers about helping her through this. This just might break her. I'd perfer that she not be alone. Just on the off chance her cracks. She'll need someone there the comfort her." The doc says, quietly.

"Sure, no problem. We actually made a list of what needs to be done. We divided it between us. But she will protest. That's just the way she is. I'll make sure we keep an eye on her. We're like her family. Thanks." Reid says, just as JJ returns.

"I really have to leave. I'll see you need week. Just call the scripts into the pharmacy. Come on Reid." JJ says, grabing Reids arm and walking out of the office. JJ stops and makes an appointment for next week. She didn't have a co pay because it's workers comp. They go to the lab in the building so JJ could get the blood taken.

Once they got out to the car, Reid asks, "So, where do you want me to take you?"

"To Quantico. I have to drop off some files and pick some up. Then I'll head over to the hotel closet to work. I need to make a list of all the calls and things to get Martha buried. I should have enough cloths to last until tomorrow. Then I'll go take a look at my place. That's if it's cleared for me to enter. Maybe I should just stay in my office. I don't know. Just take me back to work. Thanks again Spence. My head's everywhere. I have to fill out paper work for workers comp and then I have to call Martha's lawyer. I need to know if she's going to be buried or cremated. See if she wanted anything to go to anyone in particular. I just can't believe this." JJ says, looking out the window and not saying another thing untill they get to Quantico.

Everyone had gone to the office to drop off their take along bags. But only Hotch and Gideon stayed. Reid helps JJ up to her office and then heads home once he knows she's all settled. JJ had been working at her desk for about an hour when Hotch knocks on her office door.

"Come in!" JJ says without looking up from her paper work.

"Hey, what'd the doctor say?" Hotch asks, like a loving father.

"He gave me a couple of meds and wants to see me back next week. I don't have to use the crutch the whole time. Just for long walks.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Well, follow the docs instructions." Hotch says, while he fiddles with paper work.

"Ok, anyway I have to talk at least a week off. I have a funeral to plan, I have to go through Martha's papers to find out what she wanted. Then I have to clean the messes." JJ says, starting to tear up.

"JJ, we've thought we'd help you out. Garcia's talking to Martha's lawyer. Then she's going to plan the funeral and service. Morgan and Prentiss are going to clean up the houses. I've okayed you for family leave. For as long as you need, don't rush back. We have another media liaison from a different team coming to fill in."

"Who is it? Rebecca Lanes, from fraud/identity theft?" JJ asks, disgusted.

"No. Shawn Michael's from sex crimes. Have you ever met him?" Hotch asks.

"No. I've heard of him, but we've never formally met. I hope you guys get along. Once Martha is buried, I have to find Josh and Walt. Maybe Pen can find out where Jess is. Oh, I'll just go to Agent McEnroe and have him give me her whereabouts." JJ says, kind of off in thought.

"JJ, you leave Josh and Walt to us. While you were at the doctors, Peter Scarbrow called. He told me to let you know that they're coming in on the," Hotch pauses as he reads the paper he wrote it on. "The Delta airline. At ten fifty am tomorrow. They also said something about 'The cliffhangers'. They will be calling when they're landing. They want to be here for Martha's funeral and help you get through this time. Gideon does as well."

"What? Peter and Sophie are coming tomorrow? What about the cliffhangers?"

"Something about them reuniting. Maybe they meant that they're coming to see you and make sure you're ok. You know JJ, we're going after Josh and Walt for murder. If convicted, they should get life in prison. You can be in contact with all your old friends and family. Are you going to try to speak to your mother?"

JJ frowns. "No. She let Walt hurt Jess and I. When CPS was called, my MOTHER made me out to be crazy. Then she made me come home and take care of Walt. She never protected me the way a mother should. But I want to be close with Jess again." JJ looks at the floor. Tears well up in her eyes.

"Are you going to stick with Jennifer Jearau or Shelby Merrick?" Hotch asks. Then Hotch's phone rings. Hotch answers. "Hotchner." Hotch's face is blank, but then stares at JJ. She looks at him in confusion. "I see. Have you located any of the others?" Hotch pauses while getting an answer from the caller. "I see. I'll have my team on it right away. Thank you for the call." Hotch hangs up.

"Hotch, what's that about?" JJ asks.

"Right now, you're on leave. This is something that the team will work on. Why don't you go, get a hotel room. Charge it to the Bearu. You can't go home yet. Get some rest and we'll call you with any info regarding your house, Ms. Mason's house, the funeral or anything else we can think of. I'll have someone drive you to the hotel. Why don't you go to your office and lock up any files or personal stuff you don't want Agent Michaels to have access to and straighten it up. He's going to use your office." Hotch says, faster than JJ's ever heard Hotch talk.

"Ok. Who's going to drive me?"

"Let me talk to a few people. I'll send whom ever will drive you to your office. Do you need some help to get there" Hotch asks, moving around his office. To JJ it looks as if he was going out on a lead in a case. This makes JJ believe Hotch is keeping info from her. She decides to try to keep this bit of knowledge to herself.

"No, I can do it on my own. You just go do what you need to. I should be ready to go in about fifteen minutes. Thanks Hotch." She gets up slowly and limps to the door and leaves.

Once in her office, JJ picks up her desk phone and calls Garcia.

"Hey sweetness. What can I do for you beautiful?" Garcia says answering her phone.

"Pen, can you tell me if the team's going out on a case? Specifically my case." JJ asks point blank.

"JJ, honey I can't tell you that."

"Why? That must mean they have a lead on Josh and Walt. Pen, why are people treating me like I'm made of glass?" JJ asks.

"They know you're on leave. They just want you to grieve and heal. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Well, as fine as I can be. Later tonight you can come over to my hotel room and have a movie night. If Emily wants, she can come too. If I go to my hotel and rest now, then I'll need something to keep me busy. If I stay alone, I'll start thinking and we all know that's a big problem." JJ says, thinking she'll get info.

"We can try. Who's driving you to the hotel?" Penny asks.

"I'll know soon. I just have to put a few things away. Agent Michaels' is going to use my office while I'm gone. Make sure he treats my stuff good. You'll have to tell me all about him. Lots of details. I'll call you once I check in and give you my phone number and room number. It's going to be nice to sit in a nice hot tub. And yes, my leg won't be in. Call you later." JJ says.

"Ok sweetness. Take care." Garcia says, then hangs up. JJ organizes the files that have been placed on her desk. She grabs an enormous stack of files and tires to carry them to her file cabinets. About half way to the file cabinet, there's a knock at her office door that startles JJ making her jump and drop the files. The person who knocked comes in and begins helping her pick up the files.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I'm Agent Shawn Michaels. You must be Agent Jearau." Shawn says, still collecting paper.

"Yes I am. I didn't expect you to take over my office quite so soon. I was trying to clean this space posing as an office. I should've tried with two smaller stacks. So, you're from sex crimes." JJ says, putting the stacks up in the file cabinet.

"Yes, I am. I'm sorry to hear of your friends death. If I can do anything, please just ask." Shawn says, standing there watching JJ.

"Thank you, I'll do that. When you leave my office, excuse me. Our office, make sure you lock the door. Here's the key. Please use a coaster with your drinks. Make sure you shut down the computer and turn EVERYTHING off. Please don't even go near my file cabinets. I'm really particular about my privacy and rules. I think that's it." JJ says, hobbling over to her desk and grabbing her bag and a few files she wanted to work on while at the hotel.

"Are you ready for your ride to the hotel?" Shawn asks.

"You're my ride? Are you sure?" JJ asks, confused.

"Yeah, I'm sure. The others from the team are on a lead in a current case. I promise not to bite. I also promise to keep a clean office and not touch anything of yours that is of personal property. Unless it is to move it out of harms way. Now, are you ready to beat feet?" Shawn asks, motioning out the office door. JJ pauses for a second, then grabs her bag off the top of her desk. She limps to the door.

Shawn reaches for JJ's bag and says, "Here, let me take that for you."

JJ having one hand with her crutch and the other her bag, "No thank you. I can manage." As JJ limped out of her office and through the bullpen, she notices everyone's gone. This made her sad. When she finally exited the building, she turned and looked at it like she would never see it the same way ever again. Shawn could tell that JJ's in need of someone to talk to.


	10. Chapter 10

Her past catches up with her

I don't own Criminal Minds or Higher Ground. Might not be suitable for young children. Mild swearing.

Chapter 10

On the way to the hotel, Shawn tries to get JJ to trust or confide in him. "So, what happened to your leg?" Asking out of curiosity.

"I had an accident. Glass was embedded into my leg, nicking an artery. I also had glass embedded into my head. But I'm fine now." JJ says in her professional voice.

"I'm glad you're ok. I'm sorry we won't have a chance to work together. I'm sure your very smart." Shawn says.

"Ok. Enough! You're working for Josh and Walt, aren't you?" JJ says, yelling and with increased breathing.

"Agent Jearau, I have no idea who you are talking about. Who are you talking about?" Shawn asks concerned and confused.

"You don't know who Josh and Walt are?" JJ asks, hesitantly.

"No I don't. Who are they?" Shawn asks with full on concern.

"Well, you'll probably hear the others bring up their names. Walt is a pedophile. Josh is an abuser. Their both working to find two young ladies by the names Shelby and Jess. I know of at least on of their whereabouts and thought they might send someone after me to get that info. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions." JJ says, looking out the window. Shawn knew then that there was something about this agent that he found amazing.

"It's ok. You have a lot going on. So, are we going to smith street holiday inn or Hubble road?" Shawn asks.

"Smith street. It's closest to work and the houses." JJ says, explaining a little.

"Houses?"

"Yes. My house and Martha Mason's. Their both mine now." JJ says, silently crying.

"Oh. Why aren't you going home?" Shawn asks clueless.

"Because they are both crime scenes. Martha was murdered at hers. Mine was ransacked. I can't go there until at least tomorrow. Why don't you tell me what you do know." JJ says, frustrated.

"All I know is that I'm temping for you because one of your close friends passed away and you were injured. It wasn't specified how long I would be temping. Do you have any tips for dealing with the police departments and media?" Shawn asks, nervous about doing her job.

"It can't be much different from what you do for sex crimes. You make sure you chose your words carefully. You have to worry about creating a mass panic. If you need any help, just call me. It's mostly my injury that's keeping me from work. Martha's murder would only make me want to get back to work to find her killer." JJ says, under her breath says, "I'll catch them both and make them pay."

Shawn heard what she said under her breath and pretended he didn't, "What was that?"

"Nothing. So, how long have you been at sex crimes?" JJ asks, changing the subject.

"Well, I've been with sex crimes for about five or six years, give or take. I've been with FBI for seven to eight years, give or take. How about you?" Shawn asks.

"I've been with the BAU for about five years. Agent Hotchner hand picked me. I'm sure he's regretting it now." JJ says, drifting back to the earlier plane ride home. Although she remembers it more like a movie she'd just seen.

"Why would he regret it? You seem to be very good at your job. Why do you think I'm so nervous about doing your job. I have to live up to your high standard. And from what I can tell from the little time I've been around your team, they are more like a family. Why do you believe that they would think badly of you?" Shawn asks, shocked at her point of view of the BAU team.

"Just some things that happened on the last case. They didn't say anything, but when you're around profilers most of your time, you learn a thing or two." JJ says.

"Maybe you misunderstood. I can't see them not saying what they think. If they didn't say it, then I think you're putting to much pressure on yourself. Your just over reacting. You have a lot going on in that beautiful head of yours." Shawn says, pulling into the holiday inn parking lot.

"Thanks for the lift agent. Here's my cell number incase you need some help or have some questions." JJ says, getting out of the vehicle.

"Would you like some help?" Shawn asks.

"No. I think I can get this myself. Thanks anyway. Good luck agent, you'll need it." JJ says, smiling as she shuts the door of the car. Shawn smile fades at the thought of what JJ just said.

Back at FBI headquarters, Hotch and the team got some info about a piece of property that Josh's rich family owns in Boston, Massachusetts. Morgan and Reid are going to Massachusetts to do some investigating on the property.

The call Hotch received with JJ in the room was a call from sheriff Swan in Hope Springs, Colorado. He was calling on the disappearance of Sophie Becker-Scarbrow and Katherine Cabot-Ferris. Sheriff Swan had also been informed by Peter Scarbrow that two other women had been abducted too. Juliett Wayborne and Daisy Lipinowski. It's believed that Josh and Walt had kidnapped them. To try to get Shelby/JJ out of hiding and lure her out into the opening. Hotch didn't want JJ knowing what was happening. He knew she'd go after the missing women and put herself in danger.

Scott Barringer, Peter Scarbrow, Augusto Ciceros and Hank Ferris are all scared out of there minds. Peter and Hank are on their way to Quantico. The other guys, Scott and Augusto were flying out tomorrow. Peter and Hank were coming to talk to JJ and the BAU team. Everyone knew it was bound to happen sooner or later.

At the holiday inn, JJ starts to write down any information that she can remember about Josh's life. Once she gets out all that info, she starts on all of Walt's info. There's much more info on Walt. In the middle of her writing, the phone rings. JJ jumps and the walks over to the phone. She doesn't know who it can be since no one had her room number or phone number for that matter.

"Hello?" JJ answers with hesitance.

"It's this agent Jearau?" A young male voice asks.

"Yes, whom may I ask is calling?" JJ asks professionally.

"This is Scott Barringer. I was told by Peter Scarbrow to call you at the FBI headquarters in Quantico. There was a gentleman there that gave me the number to the hotel. I'm sorry to be bothering you there, but I really need to speak to you. You see, some of my female friends have been kidnapped. We're coming out there to try to help. I don't have the faintest idea why Peter would want me to call you." Scott says, not sure what she can do to help him.

"Did you say Scott Barringer?" JJ asks smiling. Not even paying attention to what else he'd said.

"Yes. Do I know you? Have we spoke before?" Scott asks.

"Yes, we have. Scott, it's me, Shelby! That's why Peter wanted you to talk to me. What did you say about a kidnapping?" JJ asks as reality of the situation sets in.

"Shelby! My god! Well, I guess I should say Agent Jearau. Oh, Sophie, Juls, Daisy and Kate have been kidnapped. Juls and Daisy were first kidnapped yesterday and Sophie and Kate today. Sheriff Swan called and talked to Agent Hotchner earlier today. Peter and Hank are flying out today. Tomorrow Auggie and I are going to meet up and fly out there together. I can tell you Auggie's very upset. Someone broke into their home, hit Auggie over the head and abducted Juls. It sounds like the same with Sophie and Kate too. I'm not sure about Daisy. She lives alone." Scott says, then is silent.

"I have a feeling it has to do with Josh and Walt. They killed my neighbor lady that was more like the mother I always wanted. They found me and took their anger out on my best friend." JJ says, crying now.

"Shel, it's not your fault that these bastards are crazy as loons. But we do have to find them before he hurts any of the girls. Do you think you can handle seeing and dealing with them now?" Scott asks.

"I didn't become an FBI agent being weak. Sure, the thought of seeing them freaks me out. But if I treat this as a case, I can handle it without waver. I'm sure they'll let them go in exchange for me." JJ says, plotting a plan out in her head.

"Shel, shouldn't you be talking this over with your team?" Scott asks.

"Scott, I'm a superiors Special Agent with the behavioral analysis unit. I'm just media liaison. But I've spent enough time around behavioral profilers to have learned a few things. I need to take care of this myself. Besides, I'm off on family leave. My team knows about Josh and Walt. I was injured and am planning a funeral for my neighbor. So they have a temp filling in for me. Then I find out my team is taking care of all the funeral arrangements, cleaning up my house and Martha's. As it was I had to sneak out work files to have something to do. These guys believe I'm going to break. They treat me differently. I hate it. It reminds me of the way you treated me after finding out about me being on the streets. These people have been my family for about five years. I hate showing any form of weakness. Then I fear for Jess. I hear you're married with a family. Congratulations! Peter told me that you named your daughter Shelby Ann. Thanks for that. It's an honor. Does she have your amazing eyes?" JJ asks, smiling while imagining a sweet little baby girl with beautiful blue eyes.

"Well, she's beautiful little bundle of sunshine. I think she's more like her beautiful mommy. But she reminds me of you too. Light blond hair. A smile that makes my stomach flip flop. I sure do miss you. Do you have someone special in your life?" Scott asks, hoping the answer is yes.

"I really haven't had the time for a special person in my life. I've been so busy pushing myself to put myself through college, then the academy. My job keeps me pretty busy. I'm flying all over the U.S. Just when I start to unwind, another case comes across my desk. I'm the one who chooses. You know, I used to keep the picture of our group hidden in my house. If I ever felt alone, I pulled it out and looked at it. I used to wish you'd find a nice woman and have a family. Be the happy family we both used to wish for. I guess my wish for you finally came true. It sounds like you all have done well for yourselves. Except for poor Ezra. He was such a sweetheart. Hopefully David will come back alive. Kate and Hank married. I could see that. Have Peter and Sophie been able to adopt?" JJ asks.

"They've adopted a little girl about nine or ten months after you left. She's a great little girl. She kind of reminds me of you. She's about ten years old now." Scott says.

"When I saw them, they hadn't mentioned it. But I guess I didn't give them much of a chance to tell me. I was hospitalized before seeing them. Then we went up to the school, a boy ran and Peter and a couple of my co-workers went to retrieve him. When they got back, I got the call saying Martha had been murdered. So we left. Sophie had to keep me calm. I knew it had to be Josh and Walt. Why would someone murder Martha, ransack her house and then go over to my house and ransack it? It had to be someone who knew me. But as Jennifer Jearau, I had no enemies. My only enemies are Josh and Walt." JJ says, sighing.

"So, FBI agent Jennifer Jearau. How did you come up with that name?" Scott asks.

"Well, agent McEnroe gave me a list of names. I met a nice lady by the name of Jennifer. She helped me through a hard time. And there was a name of Jennifer Jearau. I want to believe Jess picked the first name of Ashley. She always loved that name. From now on, could you call me Jennifer or what I'm normally called JJ. Shelby died the day I left horizon. I missed you all terribly, but I knew I was all on my own. So I relied on myself. No boyfriends, only one friend. She was my roommate from college. But we haven't spoke in about five or six years. Peter and Sophie would have loved to see me studying all the time. No distractions. I was determined to do something to help others not go through what we did."

"So your team isn't letting you work to find the girls?"

"No. They're keeping info from me. But I'm going to find Josh and Walt and take them down! That's a promise! Oh, Scott I have to go. My cell phone's ringing. Can you call me back in an hour?"

"Yeah. Bye." Scott says, and hangs up.

"Jearau." JJ says, answering her cell phone.

"Agent Jearau, where do you keep from sheets for faxes and cost reimbursement?" Shawn asks.

"The fax cover sheets are right next to the copier/fax machine. The cost reimbursement sheets are in my top left desk drawer. What costs do you have already?" JJ asks.

"Agents Morgan and Reid have a hotel room in… I can't tell you that. You're off duty." Shawn says.

"They have a lead on Josh and Walt, don't they?" JJ asks.

"I can't say."

"Well, I can tell you how much the hotel costs if you tell me where it's at." JJ says, in here sweet, flirty voice.

"Boston, Massachusetts. Agent Jearau, if I keep you informed, would you promise me that you won't go off and try to be a hero single handedly?"

"I swear. Now, tell me what you know."

"Agents Morgan and Reid have gone to Boston to check on a piece of property owned by Josh's rich family. Oh and it's believed that Josh and Walt have kidnapped five ladies."

"Five women? I thought it was four women?" JJ asks.

"The list I have is Sophie Scarbrow, Katherine Ferris, Juliett Wayborne, Daisy Lipinowski and Ashley Bowers." Shawn says.

"Ashley Bowers? Where's she from?" JJ asks.

"I have her address down as Charlotte, Michigan. Do you know her?"

"I believe I do. Does she have any family? You know, kids or a husband?"

Yes. She has a husband, John. She has a young boy. Four years old and her husband says she just found out she's pregnant again."

"Oh my gosh! Way to go Jess. When was she kidnapped?" JJ asks, beginning to tear up.

"She was kidnapped two days ago. She was the first out of the five. Would you mind telling me what is going on?" Shawn asks, confused.

"I'm going to have to tell you when you come to get me. I need a ride somewhere and you have to go with me. Bring a couple of changes of cloths. When we're on the air we'll call Hotch and Gideon. I don't want to tell you where we're going so you don't have to lie about it if you're asked. So come get me please. Call my cell when you're downstairs. See you soon." JJ says, hanging up. She then dials the local airport to get two tickets to Boston, Massachusetts. She paid with her credit card and then grabbed her bag. When she grabbed the crutch, she threw it and says, "Screw it!" She goes down to check out and wait for Shawn.


	11. Chapter 11

Her past catches up with her.

I don't own Higher Ground or Criminal Minds. Might not be sutiable for young children. Some mild swearing.

Chapter 11

In Boston, Morgan and Reid find the house. It's more like a mansion. Morgan knocks on the door. "FBI." There's no answer. Morgan knocks again and wait's the few seconds for an answer. Nothing still. So Morgan leaves his card on the door and then they head back to the hotel. Reid takes out his cell phone and dials Garcia's cell.

"What ya need sweet cake?" Garcia asks.

"We went to the house. No answer. So should we stay another day?" Reid asks.

"I think that's a good idea. Honey, got to go. Girls night with JJ and Emily at JJ's hotel room. You know, to make her feel better. Call if you need anything. I'll have my cell phone on. Bye love." Garcia hangs up as she walks into the Holiday Inn. She walks up to the counter, "Hello, could you let Ms. Jearau know I'm down here waiting to see her?"

"I'm sorry, but we no longer have a Ms. Jearau at this hotel. She checked out about three hours ago." The lady says.

"Oh, okay. Thank you for your help."

"No problem. Thank you for choosing Holiday Inn as your hotel. Have a great day." The lady says, smiling.

"Thanks." Garcia says, walking out of the building. She opens her cell phone and dials JJ's cell phone. It rings, but then goes to voice mail, "JJ, where are you? I just left the hotel where you WERE staying. Is something wrong? Please call me." She hangs up. Garcia's really worried about her.

Emily walks up to Penny. "Hey Pen, let's go watch some good movies and pig out." Emily says, smiling.

"Em, JJ's not here. I can't find her. Where can she be with a hurt leg? She left the hotel, as in checked out. The guys are all busy trying to track down those missing girls."

"Oh man, I wonder if she left to try to find Josh and Walt. But who'd she have helping her?"

"Maybe she went by herself? You know how determined she gets. Plus, these guys killed Mrs. Mason. I think we better call Hotch. She could be in danger." Garcia says, worry about her friend. Emily opens her cell phone and hits Hotch's memory number that's programmed into her phone. It rings twice before she gets an answer.

"Hotchner." The normal way her answers his cell phone.

"Hotch, it's me Emily. We can't find JJ. She's not checked into the hotel. We tried her cell and it goes right to voice mail. We, Garcia and I believe she might have gone to search for our unsub. What do you want us to do?"

"Meet Gideon and me at the office. We're going to fly to Boston. Garcia needs to be here in case we need her expertise. See you in a half hour." Hotch hangs up. Now he's worried.

In Boston, Morgan and Reid sit in their rental car and wait for someone to come home. While their sitting there, Morgan's phone rings.

"Morgan."

"Hey Morgan. JJ's AWOL. So keep an eye out for her around there. You call with any info you get on JJ or the unsub. She's going to be lucky I don't kick her butt so hard her future children feel it. We have people arriving later tonight and tomorrow and no one to be here for them. Well, I guess Agent Michaels could stay if JJ's there then she can spin the news for us. We're heading out in an hour. We'll see you soon." Hotch says and hangs up. Just seconds after Hotch hangs up, his phone rings, "Hotchner."

"Hotch! Can you hear me?" JJ asks with static noise over the phones.

"Just barely! Where are you?"

"Michaels and I just arrived..in…If you…hear…me in…ty minutes call….Hotch…I…wrong…have…gan and R…come hel…" Then the line goes dead. This really puts the fear in Hotch. Hotch calls Morgan.

"Morgan."

"Hey Derek. JJ just called. She's just got off the plane, but had a bad signal. Well, I couldn't get it all. Something about her and Michaels just landed. Something about sending in you and Reid. I think. This worries me. I was afraid she'd do this." Hotch says, frustrated.

"Hotch, just don't panic. We'll stay right here and watch for her. If she comes anywhere near here, we'll grab her and Michaels. We can handle this. I have to let you go, someone just pulled up to the house. Call you back soon." Morgan says, hanging up. Hotch of course worries. Morgan and Reid get out of the car and head to the house. As they approach, the gentleman getting out of the car's an older man, with graying hair. Morgan and Reid walk over to the car.

"Excuse me sir, may we have a word with you?" Morgan asks.

"Sure. What can I help you with?" The man asks, smiling and very friendly.

"Could you tell me who this house belongs to?"

"Sure. A friend of mine. His name's Jonathan Beachman II. He's out of town, but he's letting me stay here for a few months. What can I do for you?"

"Why don't we start with your name." Reid says.

"James Hudson. Is there a problem?"

"Are you staying here alone?"

"I occasionally have a friend over. Now I'm not answering anymore questions until you tell me what this is about." The man says, getting agitated.

"Sir, we're FBI agent Morgan and Reid. We're looking into the kidnapping of five women. We were wondering if you'd give us permission to search this house?" Morgan asks.

"I'm sorry, I can't do that. I'm only a guest at this house. If you want to search this place, I'll need a search warrant or Jonathan's permission." The man says.

"Could you give me Mr. Beachman's phone number please?" Morgan asks, with paper and pen in hand.

"I don't have it memorized. It's inside. You may come in, but no funny business." The man says, carrying a couple of bags of groceries.

As they walk into this mansion, Morgan and Reid are awe struck.

"How did you meet Mr. Beachman?" Reid asks, looking all around at all the beautiful walls and ceilings.

"We met through our children. Many years ago."

"Really? How many children do you have?" Reid asks.

"Two. Both beautiful, smart girls. But their off on their own now. Can I offer either of you a drink?" The man asks.

"Do you have bottled water?" Reid asks.

"Sure. Back in a moment." The man says, leaving the room.

"I think this guy's Walt. There's a lot of places in this huge house to hide five women. For all we know there's a sound proof room. I think we better get some back up and a warrant." Morgan tells Reid.

"Sounds good to me." Reid agrees. Morgan opens his phone and hits Garcia's speed dial number. But before it can go through, the man comes out from the kitchen toting a gun and two bottled waters.

"Put the phone down after you hang up. You both need some water. Drink up." Walt hands them the water.

"I'm not thirsty. Thanks anyway." Morgan says.

"Drink it anyway!" Walt yells. Reid drinks a few sips and starts to stumble back words onto the sofa until he passes out. Morgan knew the waters were drugged, but he's forced to drink some. Morgan sat down first, then drank. Within seconds, he's out just like Reid.


	12. Chapter 12

Her past catches up with her.

I don't own Higher Ground or Criminal Minds. Might not be suitable for young children. Some mild swearing.

Chapter 12

"Come on Shawn! We have to check on Josh's family home. I have a feeling that the place we've been looking for. We need to catch them off guard. Neither one of them have seen you before. So, if you distract them long enough, I can get in and look for the girls." JJ says as they head to their rental car.

"This is definitely a bad idea. What if you get caught?" Shawn asks.

"Then four of the five girls will be freed and I'll have to take out Josh and Walt." JJ says, with fear in her voice.

"Why only four?" Shawn asks.

"Because, one of the girls and myself are in the witness protection program. These guys have been wanting revenge on me and my sister. They kidnapped the other girls to get me to surrender. They killed Martha because they're sending me a message. Maybe you should go. This could really go against the academy rules. I don't want you to lose your job or anything. I have to save my friends. With or without your help. If you're coming, get in. If not, get back on that plane and go home." JJ says, getting into the drivers side of the red mustang. Shawn stood there for a moment, deciding whether or not to help JJ. He knew he should call the other agents. He decides to get into the passenger side of the car.

"I'm only going because if I don't and you get killed, I'll never forgive myself. Plus, it's better to go in with a partner. But I'd like to call agent Hotchner before we go in. Just in case something goes wrong." Shawn says as JJ backs the mustang out of the parking space and turns left out of the lot.

"Okay, but I don't want them to stop me. They don't have much time." JJ says, while driving like a mad woman. Within minutes, there's red and blue flashing lights in the rearview mirror. JJ gets pulled over.

Meanwhile, Hotch, Gideon, Prentiss and Garcia are still looking into Josh and Walt's pasts. Hotch looks at his watch and realize he hasn't heard from Morgan or Reid in quite some time. He picks up his phone receiver and dials Morgan's cell phone. It goes straight to voice mail. He then tries Reid's cell phone. Same thing, straight to voice mail. This panics Hotch. He calls the Bearu in Boston and tries to get them to send some agents over to check on the boys. Then he decides they all need to get to Boston. Hotch calls Gideon.

"Gideon, neither of the guys are answering their phones. I sent some local FBIers to check on them. We need to get there. I'll grab Prentiss and meet you downstairs in ten minutes."

"Okay Hotch. Stay calm. They can handle themselves. Their both good agents." Gideon and Hotch both hang up. Hotch steps out of his office and finds Emily talking to Peter, Hank and Officer Brady. Hotch has forgotten that they're coming out.

"Hotch, you remember Peter Scarbrow, Officer Hank Ferris and Officer Brady Jensen."

"Yes, hello. I hate to be rude, but we have to fly to Boston now." Hotch says to Emily.

"What's up?" Emily asks.

"Morgan and Reid maybe in trouble. Would you gentlemen like to join us?"

"I think I can speak for us all when I say, Hell yes!" Peter says.

"Okay, grab your bags. Gideon's meeting us downstairs. I just need to let Garcia know." Hotch says, heading to Garcia's small office. He knocks.

"ENTER!" She yells. Hotch opens the door and walks in.

"Hey Pen, don't panic, but the remaining team's heading to Boston. Morgan and Reid aren't answering their phones. I'm getting concerned."

"Hotch, JJ's missing. " Pen says, with deep worry written on her face.

"What do you mean she's missing?"

"She's not at the hotel, not at either of the houses, and she's not answering her cell phone. But I have activity on her credit card. About four hours ago, she bought two round trip tickets to Boston. Then not too long ago she rented a mustang." Pen says.

"Thanks for the news. Why'd she book two tickets? Oh shit! Where's agent Michaels? That's what JJ's talking about!" Hotch says, catching onto JJ's plan.

Back in Boston, Josh and Walt carry a drugged Derek and Spencer down to the basement room where they held the girls. But Derek and Spencer get shackled to the wall. When Josh and Walt leave, Sophie and the others check on the two agents.

"About Morgan?" Sophie says, taping him on the check trying to wake him. It's no use. She goes over to Spencer. "Agent Reid?" She does the same as she did to Derek. Reid let out a few moans with his head moving side to side. "Thank goodness he's okay. Now we have to try to wake Agent Morgan. Kate, could you get me a water bottle?"

"Here. What are you going to do?"

"Well, maybe if we give him a little water, the drug they gave him will exit the body faster. Plus, I thought maybe splashing some on his face might help." Sophie says, opening the bottled water. She put some water in her hand and flicks some water at Derek's face. The only reaction Sophie notices is Derek takes a deep breath. She then tries to give his some water. This wakes him a little. He drinks the water. "Agent Morgan, are you ok?"

"Uh, where am I?" He asks, groggy.

"You're in Josh's family's basement. Along with your other agent Reid. These are the girls. This is Jess, Juliet, Daisy and Kate. Jess is Shelby's, excuse me, Agent Jearau's little sister." Sophie says, so proud.

"Nice to meet you Jess."

"Actually, it's Ashley Bowers now. Nice to meet you too. You work with my sister?"

"Yeah. JJ's something wonderful. She's so together and professional. She sure feels guilty about leaving you with Walt. She can't forgive herself. You all are okay, right?"

"Yeah. Do you know how our guys are?" Sophie asks, worried.

"I don't know for sure. But I'd assume so. Did either guy say anything to any of you?"

"Walt said he's going to have his way with me. He doesn't want to start until Shel, excuse me, JJ gets here. But I'm afraid that he'll hurt my baby. I just found out that I'm pregnant. Please, help me protect it." Jess says, starting to cry.

"We'll all do our absolute best. Congratulations. You know Aunt Jen will do all she can to protect her family. Now, only if JJ got some information. She's supposed to be on leave, but knowing JJ, she's already here in Boston." Morgan says, trying to get lose.


	13. Chapter 13

Her past catches up with her.

I don't own Higher Ground, Criminal Minds or Crossing Jordan. Might not be suitable for young children. Some mild swearing.

Chapter 13

At the Boston police department, JJ and Shawn are being brought in.

"I told you, we're both FBI agents. See!" JJ yells, trying to convince this cop, showing their credentials.

"That maybe true, but you were speeding. Then I checked your license. Do you know an Agent Hotchner?"

"Yes, he's our boss. Why do you ask?"

"Because, there's a note that pulls up with your license. It states to hold you until he arrives. He's on his way as we speak. So you can sit in our lounge, or I can put you each in a cell. It's your choice."

"The lounge please. Do you have anything to eat or drink?" JJ asks.

"Yes. Help yourselves to anything in the fridge or cupboard. I'm setting an officer outside the lounge door. So no use in trying to leave."

"Okay. Thank you." JJ says as Shawn and her are being lead to the lounge. Once in the lounge, JJ gets out her cell phone and dials Garcia.

"Speak to me."

"Pen, what's going on there?"

"JJ, where are you? Emily and I showed up at your hotel and find out you checked out. Then you wouldn't answer your phone. Next time, call and tell me what's going on. Is Michaels with you?"

"Yes. Now tell me what's going on."

"Morgan and Reid aren't answering their phones. They haven't called in. Hotch thinks it's trouble. Then he heard about you. I told him about you being missing. Then Shawn's missing too. See, now if you'd have told me what was up, I could have covered for you. Sorry I got you in trouble. What were you thinking? Ms. Mason's funeral's tomorrow." Garcia says.

"Could you call the funeral home and try to post pone it. Tell them you'll call ASAP. I can't do anything to help Martha now, but if I can help get the girls back safely them I know Martha can rest in peace."

"Sure JJ. Hotch and the others will be there in about an hour."

"Who's the others? Morgan, Reid, Shawn and I are here. You're there. So Emily and Gideon?"

"Yes, but there's also Mr. Scarbrow, Officer Ferris and your dreamy Officer Jensen. Officer Jensen's awfully worried about you. He's got a major crush on our liaison. I'm not talking about Shawn Michaels either. How's your leg doing?" Garcia asks.

"It's fine. I'll make sure that I bring our boys home safely. But I have to go. I'll call you as often as possible. I know you're going to do it anyway, but don't worry. I love you Pen. Talk to you later."

"Love you too JJ. Talk to you later. Be careful and take care." Garcia says, then they both hang up.

On the BAU private plan, Hotch and Gideon are discussing JJ's actions.

"I can't believe JJ would do this! She has so much going on! Why'd she drag Michaels into her troubles?" Hotch yells.

"Well Aaron, think about it from Jennifer's point of view. She's been hiding from these two monsters for ten years. She's been separated from her sister for ten years. Her friends have been abducted. And mind you, she looks at those ladies like family. She's probably feeling helpless and most likely like a victim. She's trying to get back some control over her life."

"She went about it all wrong! She could've come to me!" Hotch says, still yelling.

"Aaron, is this really about Jennifer or is it something else?"

"Hayley took Jack and is divorcing me. I guess I feel like everyone's running from me or turning on me. Emily's been there to talk to me. She's there when I was served the divorce papers."

"Hotch, we're here." Emily bellows.

Back in the basement, Reid starts to come around.

"Derek, where are we?"

"Spencer, are you okay man?"

"Yeah, I think. Where are we?"

"You're in the sound proof basement of Josh's family mansion. Hi, I'm Dr. Daisy Lipinowski. Are you feeling sick to your stomach or have a headache?" Daisy asks, putting her hand on his forehead. Then she runs her hands under his head to his glands.

"No, I feel a bit numb. What kind of doctor are you?"

"Shrink, But I'm also a certified paramedic as well. So, do either of you have a plan to get us out of here?" Daisy asks, looking at the shackles.

"I don't. Derek usually has the idea. Reid says, looking over at Derek.

"I'd think better if I weren't shackled." Derek says. Juls walks over to Spencer, grabs a hair pin out of her hair and starts to pick the lock. Within seconds Spencer's hand are free and Juls continues until both agents are free.

"How'd you learn to do that Juliet?" Sophie asks, shocked.

"Auggie taught me. Sometimes I forget my keys in the house, car or office and am locked out. So I always keep a hair pin in my hair. Maybe we can pick the lock to the door." Juls says, smiling.

"That might work. Are they on a schedule?" Derek asks.

"They come down about every two hours. They came down about an hour and a half ago to bring you two down. Quick, I think their coming! Back in the shackles! Pretend to still be out." Sophie says, with all of the girls helping the guys back into their shackles. Seconds later the door opens.

"Jess, come with me. Walt says, tugging Jess away from the group of girls.

"NO WALT!" Jess yells, jerking her arm out of his grasp. Walt halls off and slaps her across the face. Jess' lips starts to bleed.

"Now come with me or I can beat you some more." Walt says.

"Fine!" Jess says through tears. The door shuts and they free the guys again.

"Oh dear god! We have to think fast!" Sophie says, as Morgan and Reid search the room for anything that can be used as a weapon. The only thing that remotely looks useable is a metal chair. Morgan busts it up and gives a piece to Reid, Sophie, Daisy and himself. He has Juliet pick the lock on the door. Then Morgan went first, followed by Daisy. Then Juliet and Kate. And holding up the rear is Sophie and Reid. It's dark so Morgan does his best to find the stairs that went upstairs.

"I think this it." Derek whispers back to Daisy. They slowly move forward up the bendy staircase. They come to another locked door. They could see light shining through the bottom of the door. Morgan asks for Juliet to come and pick the lock. When she does, the door opens and there stands Josh.


	14. Chapter 14

Her past catches up with her

I don't own Higher Ground, Criminal Minds or Crossing Jordan. Might not be suitable for young children. Some mild swearing.

Chapter 14

Hotch and the others make it to the Boston police department at around three AM. Hotch walks up to the front desk and shows his credentials.

"SSA Hotchner. I believe you're holding two of my agents. Please, take me to them." Everyone else just sits down. They take Hotch to the lounge. Before walking in, Hotch takes a deep breath, then opens the door. He sees JJ sitting on a sofa with her leg up. Shawn's standing at the window looking out.

"Don't say a word! I'm so angry with you two! Why'd you two believe you couldn't come to me! What if something happened to you? And you?" Hotch says, turning his attention to Shawn. "Why on Gods green earth did you let her talk you into this lunacy?" He waits for an answer.

"She's coming whether I came or not. So I thought I better go. I made her promise me that we'd call you before we did anything. I was seconds from calling you before we got pulled over and brought in."

"Hotch, don't blame him. I told him to meet me at the airport, but didn't tell him where we were going. So he's not to blame. It's me. Hotch, I know I'm the only one that can save those girls. Josh and Walt want me and Jess. I know they'll let the others go. I've run long enough. You have to let me do this, Aaron. We'll never forgive ourselves if anything happens to any of them. Please, trust me on this." JJ says, looking Hotch in the eyes.

"Ok, fine. But you don't do anything else without my okay. I'm the boss. Shawn, you're still media liaison. JJ's technically still on leave. Now, come on. We have to find Morgan, Reid and the girls." Hotch opens the door, then walks out to the middle of the Boston police department.

A young man, about the same age as JJ comes over to the unknown group. "Hello. I'm detective Woody Hoyt. My captain wants me to work with you on your case. Could someone please fill me in on this case?"

"Hello, detective Hoyt. I' Agent Jennifer Jearau. This is my boss, SSA Aaron Hotchner, SSA Jason Gideon, SSA Emily Prentiss and Agent Shawn Michaels. This is Officer Hank Ferris and Officer Brady Jensen. And this is Peter Scarbrow. These last two gentlemen were hit over the head in their homes and their wives abducted. Along with three other women. We sent two of our agents to check out a lead, but haven't heard from them. We believe two convicted men have taken them and might do harm to them. The names of the women are Sophie Scarbrow, Katherine Ferris, Daisy Lipinowski, Juliet Wayborne. And the last lady goes by two names, Jess Merrick and Ashley Bowers. Ashley's her witness protection name. She's my little sister. My real name's Shelby Merrick. I sent these two men to prison. Josh Beachman, a boy that attempted to rape me at Mr. Scarbrow's school. And then there's Walt Anderson who was my step father. He raped my sister and me for years. They both threatened us, so we went into witness protection. As for the other ladies, Sophie's a councilor at the school. Kate, Daisy and Juliet were other students that were in my group. Now, I believe he has SSA Derek Morgan and SSA Dr. Spencer Reid as well. I think that if I trade the ladies and the agents for myself, then I can end this. They want me and my sister." JJ says, then starts to get a little light headed. She puts her hand on the closest desk to hold herself up. Hotch, being the closest person behind JJ, stands firmly incase she completely passes out. Hoyt reaches for her too.

"JJ, are you okay?" Hotch asks, holding her up.

"Yeah, I think I just need to splash some water on my face." JJ says.

"Come on JJ, I take you to the restroom. We'll be back in a minute guys. Excuse us." Emily says, helping JJ to the women's restroom. When in the restroom, JJ goes to the sink and splashes ice cold water on her face.

"JJ, what's going on? I've never seen Hotch this upset, confused, angry and scared. Tell me what's going on."

"Emily, I'm scared and angry too! Josh and Walt have my little sister Jess! And my other family, Sophie, Kate, Daisy and Juliet! Now they have my new family, Derek and Spence! I know the only way I can save them is to exchange myself for them. It scares me because I had to run away from Walt's roaming hands and other parts. That's how I hooked up with Josh. He became a regular John. He's rich and paid well. He also would get high with me. But he also beat me real bad when he was high. I got taken to Mt. Horizon. I thought I escaped both monsters. Walt had a heart attack and Alice, mom, made me come home and take care of Walt while she worked and Jess was in school. That's when," JJ pauses. Emily can see JJ's face getting redder and shaking, " when I found out Walt was repeatedly raping Jess when he promised me if I never told, he wouldn't touch her. So I turned his lying ass into the police. While I was back at Horizon, Josh was admitted to Horizon. I got razzed by Josh all the time. He said he changed, but then he locked me in a girls dorm bathroom. He attempted to rape me." JJ stops to collect her emotions as she remembers her fear.

"Did he rape you JJ?"

"NO! I said ATTEMPTED!" JJ yells, crying harder.

"JJ, did Shelby get raped and not tell anyone?" Emily asks, thinking maybe if she separated JJ and Shelby then maybe JJ would admit it, but not admit it happened to JJ.

"Yes. Oh god, yes! Shelby got pregnant and had a baby girl. She was so alone. Her nurse that held her hand when she gave birth, was named Jennifer Haskin. But Shelby's the only one to know." JJ says, staring at the mirror with water dripping down off her face.

"JJ, why don't you sit down. Is there someone you'd like to talk to?" Like maybe Hotch or Gideon? Or how about Mr. Scarbrow." Emily asks, trying to help.

"NO!!" JJ yells loud enough to have all the men out in the bullpen area hear and come running. Hotch's the first to open the restroom door.

"What's going on in here?" Hotch asks while the other men stand behind him.

"No one else can know! Promise me Daisy!" JJ excitedly says to Emily, mistaking her for Daisy.

"I promise!" Emily stands up and walks over to Hotch. "I think we have a problem. JJ thinks she's the only one who can save them, but the thought of being with her two biggest monsters has her wavering between JJ and Shelby. Does anyone think they can help her?" Emily asks to anyone.

"Let me try." Gideon says, as he walks over to where JJ's sitting on the floor. "JJ, it's Gideon. Can you tell me where you are?"

"I'm in a restroom." JJ says, emotionless.

"Good, that's correct. Now can you tell me what restroom you're in?"

"The girls dorm, no! Sorry, the girls at FBI headquarters." JJ says, blinking a few times fast.

"No sweetheart. We're in the girls restroom in the Boston police department. Do you remember why we're in Boston?"

"We're on a case, right?"

"Yes. Do you remember what case it might be?"

"Is it a missing persons?" JJ asks, looking somewhat confused.

"Yes. Seven people. Two men and five female. Do you recall whom the victims are?" Gideon asks.

"Can I have a hint?"

"One of the men is Agent Dr. Spencer Reid. One of the women is a girl named Jess Merrick." Gideon watches JJ's face closely as he says the name.

"Spence? Jess? Oh god! Soph, Juls, Kate, Das and Derek! Walt and Josh, we have to stop them Gideon! What if Walt hurts Jess again? What if Josh hurts any of them! We have to go now!" JJ says, standing up in a hurry, leaving Gideon on the floor and alone in the ladies room. Detective Hoyt comes in and helps Gideon get up. They leave the restroom. Gideon finds JJ mapping out the house design that she'd found on the computer. Well, Garcia hacked into the Boston's Capital Area Library computer that hold all those type of documents.

"See, there's a door here, here, here, here and here. If we cover all those doors and garage doors, then they can't escape with anyone. Chances are they have Morgan and Reid's guns and a few of their own." JJ says, talking over the case like she knew what she's doing. Hotch let's her because he's afraid of her mental state if he didn't. He just watches closely and corrects any orders that he thinks are wrong or just don't seem right.

"Okay, so there's at least two guns. We should all have vests. Emily, you and I have to stay back by the cars. If we were caught, we'd have a big problem. We know from Josh's record that he's attempted rape before, so we are not going to want to risk it."

"But JJ…" Emily tries to say something, but JJ cuts her off.

"Trust me on this Em. Now, how many cruisers are we going to have?" JJ asking detective Hoyt.

"I was told four officers, two cars and me"

"Okay, that's fine. We have five FBI agents, six officers and a very smart private citizen. Okay, this is were we're going to be stationed. I want the four BPD officers at the doors. The two HSPD officers at the garage doors. Hotch and Hoyt enter the front door. Gideon and Michaels enter the back door. Emily and I'll be by the car. Em talks to Garcia in case we need computer help. I'll man the police radio in case we need help, more police or ambulance, that sort of thing. Okay, four in one SUV, five in the other and then the two officers in each cruisers. The address is 29325 Jessup Drive. If we get separated, just program the GPS. Detective Hoyt, do you have vests? Hotch, how many do we have?"

"We have six vests, which are in the back of the SUV."

"We have to see how many vest have been checked out. I'm sure we can come up with the vests. I'll go check. Could I bring someone to help me?" Woody asks.

"Sure, the rest of us will make sure we have everything ready and set." JJ says, then leaves the department to check the stuff in the SUV. JJ gets outside and not long after, Officer Jensen comes out to stand next to her.

"Agent Jearau, do you need any help?" Jensen asks.

"What's with Agent Jearau? It's Jen or JJ. I'm sorry I had to leave without saying goodbye. I just found out my neighbor and best friend had been murdered." JJ says, with a frown.

"I know, Sophie and Peter told me. I'm sorry about your loose. They say you believe it's Josh and Walt. Is that true?"

"Yes." JJ says, looks up at Officer Jensen. He leans in and lays his lips on JJ's. They start a passionate kiss. JJ grabs his shirt and pulls him closer and he grabs her head. They both moan a little. Then they hear the department door shut and voices. So they pull apart fast, but reluctantly. They wipe their mouths and clear their throats.

"Well, thank you for that! Wow! Can we talk later?" Officer Jensen asks.

"Sure. Thank you too! Where'd you learn that thing with your tongue? Wow!" JJ says, smiling ear to ear. Hotch comes around the SUV and looks at the two.

"JJ, detective Hoyt has the extra vests. We're ready to roll. Is there something I need to know?" Hotch asks. Knowing something happened, he just didn't know what.

"No, nothing. Let's roll!" JJ says, closing the back door of the vehicle. Everyone piles into the vehicles and head off.


	15. Chapter 15

Her past catches up with her.

I don't own Higher Ground, Criminal Minds or Crossing Jordan. Might not be suitable for young children. Some mild swearing.

Chapter 15

"What have we here?" Josh asks rhetorically.

"Josh, where's Jess? What's Walt done to her?" Daisy asks, using her pychologists voice.

"That's not your concern at this moment. Your concern should be whether or not I'm going to kill each and everyone of you. Let's see, what kind of punishment should we give? Josh says, trying to scare them.

"Little man, you might want to think seriously hard before attempting to kill two FBI agents. You won't make it out alive." Morgan says, inching up the stairs little by little. Until Morgan plows Josh down and the others rush up the stairs. Morgan punches Josh in the face to knock him out. "Someone, find a phone and an exit door! I'll find Jess and Walt! Go out on the front lawn and don't come back in! Reid, look after them! Call 911 and give them the low down! Now go!" Morgan says, while tying up Josh. Morgan goes one way and the others go the other way. Morgan carefully checks every room. He begins to wonder just how many rooms are in the place.

Sophie finds the phone. She turns it on to make sure it's working. Then they all search for an exit to the outside of this torture palace. Sophie dials 911.

"911, please state your emergency." A woman says.

"I'm one of seven people that have been kidnapped! Two of us are FBI agents Morgan and Reid! We're in a huge mansion belonging to the Beachmans! We can't find our way out! Please, send some help!" Sophie yells, exhausted and scared.

"I think I found one!" Juliet says. It leads to the garage.

"It's to the garage! Come on!" Reid says, holding the door open. Juliet and Reid were the only ones to make it out before Josh found them. Sophie pushes them out and then shuts the door.

"Are you still there? Hello, ma'am? The 911 operator says.

"Sorry, but they have been detained." Josh says, then hangs up. "Now, you've all pissed me off! How am I going to get Shelby to give herself to me? Well, I guess we still have little sis and you three. Isn't it sad that the FBI would save their own lives instead of you?" Josh waves around a gun.

"Where's Jess?" Sophie asks.

"Being reunited with her dear Papa. She'll be back with you all soon. Now, back downstairs until I decide what to do with you." Josh ushers them back to the door that leads downstairs. He follows them until they're once again locked in that single room. They listen as he walks away and locks the door at the top of the stairs.

"Well, it won't be too long before help comes. 911's been notified and Reid and Juliet made it out. I just hope the cavalry gets here before his sick mind comes up with something truly frightening." Sophie says, with Daisy and Kate nodding in agreement.

The first of the four car parade turns down the caldasack, heading for the biggest house there. As Hotch drives closer, he sees two people on the front lawn.

"Can anyone else see those two people?"

"Yeah. A tall man and a slender girl." Detective Hoyt says.

"Oh! That's Reid and…Juliet! Hurry Hotch!" JJ yells from the back seat. They pull up and park the cars paraell to the house. Making sheilds in case of gun fire. JJ's the first to jump out of the car. She runs to Juliet and Reid. She hugs them both.

"Where's everyone else?"

"Still in the house. We almost had Sophie, Kate and Daisy. Sophie pushed us out just as Josh came into the mud room." Reid says.

"What about Morgan and Jess?" JJ hangs on the response.

"Walt came and got Jess. We haven't seen either of them since. Morgan stayed to find her. But chances are Josh locked the girls up again in the basement."

"Shelby, everyone in there's smart. Walt won't hurt Jess. Agent Morgan promised her he'd protect her and her baby..uh." Juliet says, then wishes she hadn't.

"It's okay Juls. I know she's pregnant. Are you guys okay?"

"I'm still not feeling right. Josh drugged Morgan and me. I don't know what it was." Reid says, closing his eyes and shaking his head to clear it a little.

"Go sit in one of the trucks. Give this radio to Peter and have him call an ambulance. Have them have another ambulance on stand by. Juls, could you go with him? Have Prentiss get you both a nice safe spot. It's real good to see you again Juls. You look good. I'm sorry you were dragged into this." JJ says, hugging Juls again.

"No problem. Once a cliffhanger, always a cliffhanger. We'll talk when this is over. But is Auggie okay?" She asks with concern. She holds her breath waiting for an answer.

"Yes Juls. Auggie and Scott are due in Virgina tomorrow or rather, this morning. A friend's going to have them fly here to meet us."

"Thanks." Juls says, then goes with Reid to find Emily.

"Hotch!" Hotch hurries over to JJ.

"What's up?"

"Reid says the girls are locked downstairs. Morgan and Reid were drugged. Now we know from Reid that Walt and Jess are separated from the others. When they escaped, Morgan went in search of Jess and Walt. So we have two, possibly three locations of the house. We need to see if Reid remembers what rooms and directions he went through to reach the mud room that led to the garage." JJ says, thinking of a way to make contact with Josh. "Hotch, could you get a direct line to the house. I think Josh and I have a little conversation way past due."

"Sure." Hotch says, running to get things rolling. JJ stands there just staring at the house. Peter walks over.

"Shelby. Sorry, JJ. What are ya thinking?"

"Well Peter, I'm thinking that Sophie's still Sophie. Josh's still a bastard and someone's going to die before this is over. You know who my bet's on. I'm trying to not be angry. I'm trying to keep my personal feelings separate. But I honestly have to believe that the two go hand in hand. My feelings are what makes me good at my job. Seeing all the scared parents and sometimes having to tell them their six year old is dead, it helps to understand how they feel. At least to the best of my ability. I have to pray that I don't have to. I promise I'll bring Sophie back to you." JJ says this while still starring at the house.

"JJ, you're great at your job. I've never been so proud of you then I am right now. This is what Sophie and I prayed for you. To be someone that helps others and gives back." Peter says, patting JJ on the back.

"I just hope Jess feels the same." JJ says, a single tear escapes her right eye.

"I know Jess has to be extremely proud of her big sis." Peter says, wiping her tear away. Peter turns and leaves. That's when it hits JJ. She figures out just how they can get in without being detected.

In a room next to the attic, Morgan found some hints he's getting closer to what he's searching for. Just for a second he got side tracked. He saw a window and looks out to see what he could see. All he sees is blackness. So he knew he's on the back side of the house. When he comes to this conclusion, he continues on his way to the attic.

Just before reaching the closed door, Morgan hears movement coming from the room. He listens carefully trying to figure out what's going on. Thump, thump.

"Oh no! Jess, kitten! Wake up!" Walt yells on the other side of the closed door. Morgan fears Walt's seriously injured or even killed Jess. Morgan turns the knob to the door and pushes it open. Morgan looks at Walt, then down at a non-moving Jess on the floor. Morgan could see blood coming out of Jess' mouth. Morgan kneels down beside Jess. He feels for a pulse and doesn't detect one.

"What did you do to her?" Morgan yells at him. Trying CPR.

"She got snotty with me. I was just trying to love my daughter."

"You mean rape her!" Morgan says in between chest compressions and the blow of air into Jess' mouth.

"I've done nothing but love my girls."

"That kind of love's what got you sent to prison. I guess you must've liked it in prison. Because you're going back for Jess Merricks murder! I can't revive her! Boy, when JJ gets a hold of you, you're going to beg for death." Morgan says, straightening Jess up so she looks presentable. Walt just sits down on an old trunk. He couldn't believe what he's hearing. Morgan says a little prayer for Jess and her baby. Then Morgan picks up Jess' body and leaves the attic room. He carries her down one flight of stairs and into the closest bedroom. He lays her gently down and places her hands on her stomach. He didn't know how he's going to tell JJ. He also didn't know how she's going to take it. He's taking it real hard. Remembering his promise to her cut him worse than any knife or bullet.


	16. Chapter 16

Her past catches up with her

I don't own Higher Ground, Criminal Minds or Crossing Jordan. Might not be suitable for young children. Some mild swearing and intended sexual violence.

Chapter 16

"If we cut the power to his house, then they can't use lights to see us enter." JJ's cell phone rang. She picks it up, "Jearau."

"Finally we talk after ten long years. Do you still feel me inside you?" Josh says, trying to get JJ to react.

"What's it going to take to get you to release the rest of the hostages?" She asks, professionally.

"You."

"And that's it?"

"I'll release all the hostages but Jess. She's for my man, Walt. Well, you are too. But you're mostly mine. I'll call back in ten minutes so you can talk it over with your people." He hands up.

"What'd he say?" Hotch asks.

"Me."

"Nope, sorry. It's not happening. I already have one agent unaccounted for in there."

"He's going to release them all, except Jess. I can handle him sir. I learned from the best." Talking about Peter and then Hotch.

"You go in with a hidden gun. I'm not taking any chances." The phone rings again.

"Jearau."

"Where in the hell did you get that stupid name?"

"You have a deal. I want them to slowly walk out of the garage. Once their far enough away, I start my way into the garage. But when I'm in, I want to see Jess." JJ says.

"Fine. You have a deal. But if I see any cops close to the house, I shoot."

"Fine. You have five minutes to get all the hostages together and then send them out. FIVE MINUTES!" JJ says and hangs up.

"JJ, I don't like this. Are you sure there isn't another way to do this?" Hotch asks.

"Hotch, you have no authority over me. Right now I'm on leave. So I'm technically a civilian. This has been long awaited. I want to see my little sister and hold her again. I've missed her so much." JJ says, looking at the ground so Hotch couldn't see the fear in her eyes.

"I guess. I'll see you when you get back." Hotch says, hugging JJ. JJ slowly puts her arms around Hotch.

Josh unlocks and goes downstairs to collect the ladies. Josh unlocks the door to the room the ladies are in.

"You ladies are leaving. So it's your lucky day. Now move!" Josh yells. Sophie, Kate and Daisy rush out of the room, up the stairs and then wait for Josh to lead them out." You ladies know where the other two left. You're leaving the same way. Now Go!" Josh yells. Now he's got to find that black guy. Josh heads upstairs.

When Josh disappeared, Sophie stops the girls. "We can't leave without Jess and Agent Morgan."

"But Soph, we have no idea where anything is in this house. We'd get lost and be in trouble ourselves. Agent Morgan can take care of himself. As for Jess, Agent Morgan will protect her." Kate says.

"Okay, let's go." Sophie says, reluctantly. So the ladies exit the house and then the garage.

Just before JJ starts to walk toward the house, Shawn says, "Jen, make sure you come back in one piece. Take care." Shawn gives her a hug and a peck on the cheek.

"Thanks Michaels. I'll try." JJ says. She walks a few steps then stops. She turns to look at everyone one last time. She turns back to the house and sees the three ladies come hurrying out. JJ continues forward. When the ladies and JJ meet, JJ asks, "Where's Morgan?"

"He went to find Jess." Sophie says.

"Shelby!" Daisy yells and hugs her.

"Oh Das, we have to sit down and talk when this is all over. I've missed you so much. Same with you Kate. Hank and Peter are out there waiting for you two. I'll see you all soon. Now go!" JJ says, then transforms into an emotionless, determined agent. Daisy knew what she's doing. Sophie, Kate and a slow, reluctant Daisy finish their walk to the authorities. Sophie and Peter hug each other as do Hank and Kate. Daisy just watches as JJ disappears into the garage. Reid comes over to Daisy.

"Are you okay? He didn't hurt you or anything, right?" Reid asks.

"I'm fine. Thank you for asking. No, he just locked us back up. How are you feeling?"

"Still, a little fuzzy, but I'm getting there. Would you like to sit down and maybe have some water?"

"I'm concerned about Shelby right now. I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. It's just been ten years since I saw Shelby and now she's throwing herself to the lions, so to speak. Oh, what those men did to her. I use the word men loosely." Daisy says, tearing up as she stares at the house, lost in thoughts of year long since past.

Once JJ enters the house, she tries to calm her heart. She slowly enters and looks for a sign of anyone.

"Hello? Anyone here?" She knew they're there, but it's the first thing to come out of her mouth. Then she hears some scuffling noise above her. She rushes to the next room in search of the stairs to go up and check out the noise. She has to travel through three rooms to find the staircase and heads up as fast as she can. Then she has another set of stairs to climb as the noise gets louder. When she gets up there, she heads to the room the noise is coming from. But before she reaches the room, Josh and Derek come flying out of the room, entangled in a scuffle. JJ breaks them up.

"STOP IT! DEREK!" Both guys stop and look at JJ. "Where's Jess and Walt?" They both just stare at her. "I will NOT ask again!" They both point to the room. JJ slowly walks. She has a feeling something bad is happening. She felt like she's watching a movie. As she turns the corner and into the room. JJ sees a grown Jess lying on the bed. Walt's on the other side of the bed holding onto Jess' hand. He's crying.

"Why's Jess sleeping?" JJ asks angry.

"Hey Kitten."

"Don't call me that! Why's Jess sleeping? What did you give her?"

"Nothing." Walt says. Morgan walks in.

"JJ, she's dead. By the time I got to her, Walt had killed her."

"WHAT?" JJ yells. She starts crying.

"Baby girl, she's dead. I'm so sorry. I let you both down." Morgan says, his head hanging down in shame.

"No Morgan. You didn't let anyone down. You did what you could. Thank you for trying. Can you do me a favor?" JJ asks, calmly.

"Sure Angel."

"Will you carry my little sister's body out to the barricade?"

"Sure, as long as you come with us." Morgan says.

"NO! That wasn't part of the deal. Sorry that she's dead, but we have a deal." Josh says, getting antsy.

"That's right, Josh. We have a deal. Just take Jess out of here. Tell everyone I'm fine. I'll see you and everyone soon enough." JJ says, hugging Derek and kissing him on the cheek.

"Are you sure?" Derek asks.

"Yes. Take care of my little sis. At least until I can see her at the morgue. Make sure they know of her condition." JJ says, raising her eyebrows.

"Okay. I love you baby girl. Remember what you've learned." Morgan whispers to her. JJ just nods. Morgan gently scopes Jess' lifeless body up off the bed.

"Let me show you out. Shel or JJ or whatever, stay here. I'll be back." Josh says, leading Derek downstairs to the exit. While Josh's gone, it's just JJ and Walt.

"What happened?" JJ asks calmly.

"she sassed me. I slapped her and she must've hit her head on a piece of furniture. I didn't mean to hurt her. Kitten, please believe me."

"Walt, why did you hurt Jess and I for all those years if you didn't mean to hurt her? I want and deserve an answer. I don't think it's too much to ask for." JJ asks, still eerily calm. Before Walt can answer, Josh comes back into the room. He's carrying a bottled water.

"I thought you might want some water. Here." Josh hands the bottle of water to her. She totally forgets that Morgan and Reid had been drugged with water. She takes it, opens it and drinks. But this time it's laced with GHB. JJ starts to get dizzy and not able to hold her own body up. Josh and Walt move her body over to the bed. They laid her down.

"What are you guys doing?" A groggy and dazed JJ asks.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Morgan comes out of the garage, carrying Jess. Hotch and Gideon rush out to help a very emotional Derek.

"What happened?" Gideon asks.

"Walt killed her before I could get to her. I promised her that I'd protect her and her unborn child! I let her and JJ down." Morgan says, handing Jess' body to Hotch and dropping to his knees and just sobbing.

"NO! Derek, you did the best you could in the situation you were given. Walt's to blame! Not you!" Gideon says, hugging Derek as he cries. Hotch puts Jess' body on the ground on the safe side of the trucks. Everyone gathers around Jess' empty shell.

"Oh God! Oh peter, what's this world coming to?" Sophie says, sobbing into Peter's shoulder.

"I don't know darlin. I don't know."

"I'm going to call an M.E. to come pick up this young lady. Does she have any family?" Detective Hoyt asks.

"Yes, JJ. She also has a husband and a four year old boy." Prentiss says.

"Okay. Thank you. Would you possibly have the phone number?" Woody asks.

"Yes, right here." Emily hands him the info sheet that Garcia faxed over.

"I can't believe she's gone." Daisy says, wiping away her tears.

"Are you sure there's nothing I can do?" Reid asks Daisy. Daisy just throws herself into Reid's arms and busts out crying. Reid holds her ever so tightly. Woody steps aside and calls Jordan, the on call M.E.

"Cavanaugh."

"Hey Jordan, we have a body that needs to be picked up. She's been removed from the crime scene, but this is a really sensitive case. She was killed by her sexually abusive step father. She's a sister of an FBI agent. She's pregnant. Excuse me, was pregnant. We need this to be handled with finesse. The address is Jessup Dr. See you in a few minutes." Woody says, then hangs up without letting Jordan get a word in.

"Morgan, how'd JJ take the news?" Hotch asks.

"At first, not good. She was crying and yelling. Then, in an instant, she was calm. No emotion. It scares me. Josh was even nice. But when I mentioned that we both leave, she said Josh said they had a deal. She's really scary." Morgan says, shaking a little.

"Did she seem scared?" Gideon asks.

"No. She was emotionless." Morgan says.

"Okay, why don't you have the medic check you out. You were drugged too." Gideon says, pointing to the back of the ambulance. Derek slowly walks over.

"I wonder what's going on in that house?" Hotch asks to no one in particular.

Two hours pass with no noise from the house. Hotch wanted to go in an hour and forty-five minutes ago, but Gideon told Hotch that JJ need to settle things with these two before she can move on with her life. At five AM, Gideon decides it's time. "Hotch, we need to get a plan together. First, lets try the phone. If JJ's still getting closure, then we wait. If no one answers, we need to go in."

"We need to pick four to go in." Hotch turns to the remaining people and asks, "does anyone want to volunteer to go in?" Two people jumped at the chance. Agent Michaels and detective Hoyt.

"Me!" Woody and Shawn says at the same time.

"Okay, now this is what's going to happen. I'm going to pair up with Agent Michaels. Gideon's pairing up with Detective Hoyt. You stay with your partner at ALL times. Each team gets a walkie-talkie. That way if we need back up, we don't have to leave each other. Gideon and Hoyt, you take the second floor and the attic. Michaels and I will take the first floor and the basement. Go get your vests on, get your guns and then meet back here in five minutes." Hotch let them break up ad do what they needed to do.

Pretty much everyone else had gone to the hospital to get checked out. Hotch's orders. Morgan and Reid had to get tested for the type of drug given to them. Plus, make sure they were physically okay. Sophie, Kate, Daisy and Juliet had to also get checked out. Make sure they didn't have any injuries or that they weren't raped. Peter and Hank went with their wives. Prentiss went to take all their statements. Garcia, Scott and Auggie arrive at the hospital. Once everyone's check out, they head to the hotel. All except Scott, Garcia, Morgan, Reid, Prentiss and Daisy. As they leave the hospital, they run into Jess' Husband and son.

The little boy has white blond hair and blue eyes, just like his Aunt Jen. Not to mention his beautiful mommy, who's now dead. Her husband didn't know that she died. Emily decided to step forward and tell the husband. She figured that that was the only way she could help JJ at this time.

"Mr. Bowers? Hello, I'm Agent Emily Prentiss. Could I speak to you for a moment?"

"Sure, but could we hurry? I want to see Ash. I need to see her for myself." He says, looking a little scared.

"Hey there little man. Do you want to come with me over there? See the M&M machine." Daisy asks with a look to dad. He nods and Daisy walks the sleepy boy over to the candy machine.

"Mr. Bowers, I'm sorry to have to tell you. Ashley's dead. I'm terribly sorry." Emily says, rubbing his shoulder and back.

"What? How?"

"Right now it's unclear. But it might have been an accident. We have to wait for an autopsy. Would you like me to take you to the morgue? Emily asks.

"Yes, please. Can someone watch Scottie for me. I don't think that's a place I want my boy to be."

"Sure. Garcia, can you watch Scott Bowers for Mr. Bowers so we can go to the morgue?"

"No problem. Sorry about your loss sir. I'll take Scott back to the hotel for some healthier breakfast. Em, just bring him back. Call if you need anything." Garcia walks over to Daisy and little Scott. The others go back to the house to find out what happened. Scott's eager to see Shelby/Jennifer. They all go their separate ways.

At the Boston morgue, Emily and Mr. Bowers get off the elevator and run into a very professionally dressed young lady with a smile on her face. "Hello. Can I help you?"

"Yes, I' special agent Emily Prentiss and this is Mr. Bowers. He's here to see his wife, Ashley Bowers."

"Oh, sure. If you follow me to a conference room, I'll just grab Dr. Cavaugh. Then we'll talk first. Have a seat here. I'll be right back." Lilly says, shutting the conference room door and hurrying to Jordan. She busts in, scaring Jordan. "Jordan!"

"Ah! Lilly, switch to decaf! My goodness! What?" Jordan says, doing the exterior exam.

"Mr. Bowers is here to see his wife, Ashley Bowers. He and an Agent Prentiss are in conference one." Lilly says, pretty jumpy.

"Okay, let me make her a little more presentable." Jordan says, combing her hair out with her fingers. She arranges her hair down around the bruise on her temple. Then she covers the body completely. Making sure she has enough sheet to uncover the head only. Lilly and Jordan walk back to the conference room. They open the door and Mr. Bowers and Emily stand up.

"Hello Mr. Bowers. I'm Jordan Cavanaugh and I want to start be saying how sorry we are about your wife. This is our grief counselor, Lilly Libowski. Do you have any questions?"

"Yes, how did she die?" She was a healthy twenty-four year old woman. She just found out she was pregnant again." Mr. Bowers says, crying.

"I'm sorry. Did your wife have any type of health problems? Asthma, diabetes, a heart condition?" Jordan asks.

"No. At least none that we knew of. Was there any physical signs of foul play?"

"We did find a bruise at the temple. Their was a also a split lip. And I believe she might have been assaulted. I haven't had a chance to start the internal exam. If I had to make a guess with what I have seen, I'd say blunt force trauma to the head. Now whether it was done to her or an accident, I don't know yet. Do you have any other questions before we go see her?"

"No."

"Alright, please follow me. Agent Prentiss, are you coming too?" Lilly asks.

"Yes, she is." Mr. Bowers spoke up before Emily could say anything. They all walk to the exam room. Emily grabs Mr. Bowers hand and he squeezes it.

"Ready?" Jordan asks. Mr. Bowers nods. Jordan lowers the power blue sheet from Jess' face. Mr. Bowers gasps. He notices the lip and some of the bruises on her temple.

"That Bastard did it, didn't he?" Mr. Bowers asks, angry.

"Who are we talking about?" Lilly asks.

"Ashley's abusive step father. He's the one that kidnapped her from Michigan. She wouldn't tell me much about him. Just that she was hiding from him. She said he was abusive and he would kill her if he got a hold of her. I thought she was being over dramatic. He killed my love and our sweet baby. I used to try to give her a nickname. You know, like sweet cakes or something. But she just told me to stick to Ashy." Mr. Bowers says, wiping the tears away. "May I kiss her and hold her one last time?"

"Sure, we'll wait for you out in the hall." Jordan says. They walk out and wait.

"Agent Prentiss, when I took her finger prints, she came up as Jess Merrick. Can you explain that?" Jordan asks. Lilly's intrigued.

"Yes. A little over ten years ago, Jess Merrick testified against her sexually abusive step father. He threatened retaliation. The FBI put her in witness protection. Her step father was currently released and somehow located her. He kidnapped her and brought her to a house here in Boston. Now we believe he killed her, but we can't guarantee it was intentional or accidental. Her sister's one of my team members. Oh, this is just so awful. She has a four year old boy named Scott. He looks just like his mom and Aunt Jen."

"Oh, she's the one out on Jessup Dr. Woody's out there helping." Jordan says, "So have they arrested the bastard?"

"Well, actually there's two bastards. I don't know because I had to take a mass of people to be checked out at the hospital. I was going to go check and see. If you guys want to come with, you can. I have to drop off Mr. Bowers at the hotel. The I'm going." Emily says.

"Actually, we can drive over ourselves. We can't stay long. But if he killed my sister, I'd kill him. So I might be needed." Jordan says, with a sarcastic smile.

"Here, here girlie." Emily says and high fives Jordan and then Lilly.


	18. Chapter 18

Her Past Catches Up With Her

I don't own Criminal Minds, Higher Ground or Crossing Jordan. Maybe not be suitable for all.

Chapter 18

In the ambulance, Hotch washes JJ's hand so he can hold it.

"Jennifer Mae Jearau, wake up this minute! That's an order!" Hotch says sternly. He wait's a few seconds and no response. "JJ, this is Aaron. I need you to wake up. Can you do that for me?" Hotch says and waits. Jens hand moves a little. She says something, but she has the oxygen mask over her face. Hotch removes it.

"What's happening?" JJ asks slowly and groggy.

"You're in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. Can you tell me what happened between you, Josh and Walt?"

"Can't they tell you?" JJ asks with a whisper.

"No honey, their both dead."

"NO!!" JJ says, thrashing about.

"Okay, oxygen mask back on." The EMT says.

"We need to have her blood drawn. She might have be drugged like my other two agents."

"already on it." The EMT says. The EMT cuts JJ's shirt and pants off to see if she was injured as well. The EMT finds a small cut on her right side. It was bleeding, but not bad.

"How did we miss that?" Hotch asks.

"The knife didn't go through the shirt. So that must mean that her shirt was pulled up or was completely off." The EMT says, looking uncomfortably at Hotch. Hotch just looked at the EMT and JJ. Hotch's too shocked to say anything. "Maybe we should have a rape kit done at the hospital, just in case."

"That's probably a good idea." Hotch says, still holding JJ's hand. They pull into the hospital and unload JJ into the emergence department.

"Where would you like this young lady?" The EMT asks the ER nurse.

"Probably exam room 5." The nurse says, getting a new chart and a clipboard with a ton of paper work for Hotch to fill out. She walks into the exam room and holds out the clipboard to Hotch. "Could you please fill these out. You can go out to the table and chairs next to the nurses station. We'll come out as soon as we have info on her condition. If you have any questions about the paper work, just ask one of the nurses and just do the best you can." The nurse says, closing the door in Hotch's face. Hotch stands there for just a few seconds, then heads to the table and sits down. About five minutes later, Garcia, Scott and Daisy come rushing into the ER.

"How's she doing?" They ask simultaneously.

"They haven't examined her yet. I have to fill out these forms. Penny, can you do this? I'm just not fully confident that I know any of this info." Hotch says, handing Penelope the clipboard.

"I can help if you need it." Daisy says, sitting next to Penelope. Hotch stands up and paces. Scott just sits silently watching Hotch pace.

"She has a cut on her side. She can't remember anything. I think Josh and or Walt spiked her water. Probably GHB, so they could do anything to her and she wouldn't remember. I don't like this. It's leaning towards JJ as a killer. I want to believe it's self-defense." Hotch says, under his breath, just talking out loud. Shawn hasn't arrived yet at the hospital.

Back at the double murder scene, Derek, Reid, Gideon, detective Hoyt and the M.E, Jordan Cavanaugh are investigating the crime scene.

"I'd say that an estimated time of death for this one," talking of Josh, "Was one to two hours ago. And I would place this ones time of death…hmm. At the same time. When I do the autopsy on them, I'll get better time of death. But cause of death looks to be stabbing in both bodies. I don't see any defensive wounds on either body. I'll ask to see all the photos of marks on Agent Jearau. There are two sets of fingerprints on each one of those murder weapons. We'll test the blood on both of them. Make sure the blood matches the victims. Have the CSI team dust other areas to see about fingerprints, to see if we can piece together what really happened here." Jordan says, while Nigel zips up the body bags. Then the other officers carry the bodies out of the room and down the corners van.

"So, is there any way that JJ was unconscious when they were killed?" Hoyt asks.

"Sure, but then these two would've had to kill each other. It's strange, but not unheard of. I'll make sure all three autopsies are done ASAP and done correctly." Jordan says.

"You need to know that Ashley Bowers was pregnant. JJ wanted me to make sure you knew." Morgan says.

"Thanks for that information. I'll note that on her file. I'm sorry about your friend and college. And about Ms. Bowers. I'll see you all later. Bye." Jordan says, then leaves.

"She's really great at her job. You don't have to worry." Woody says about Jordan.

"That's good. Well, we can't really do much more here. Maybe we should go check on JJ." Morgan says to the team.

"Yeah, I'm sure Hotch could use some support." Emily says, with her heart skipping a couple beats at the thought of Aaron.

"Yeah. Come on, I'll drive." Gideon says to the team.

Two hours later, the BAU team, Daisy, Scott, Shawn and Det. Hoyt are all sitting waiting for word on JJ. Finally a nurse comes out.

"Jennifer Jearau." Everyone stands up and walks over to her. "Wow, this is a lot of people. Can I speak with one of you?"

"You can talk to me. I'm her boss Agent Aaron Hotchner. You can just call me Hotch. Is Jen okay?" Hotch asks.

"She'll be fine. She did have a mild wound. A couple of stitches. Her blood work up did come back positive for GHB and a very mild sedative. She's still kind of sleepy. So if you'd all like to go get some sleep, I can call you when she's ready to be discharged." The nurse says. She doesn't comment either way if JJ was raped. JJ had asked her not to tell anyone. The nurse thought that it's a rape survivors healing process to tell whoever whenever they are ready.

"I'll send everyone else to the hotel. I'm staying." Hotch says.

"Okay. Is there anything I can get you to make you a little more comfortable?"

"No. Thank you anyway. Could you come get me when she awake. I just need to see her." Hotch says, like a nervous father.

"Sure sir." The nurse says, patting his arm reassuringly. Then she turns and walks away. Hotch walks over to the group. Once they all stop talking and look at him, he gets ready to tell them what he was just told.

"Okay, listen. JJ was cut. It was a minor wound. Just a few stitches. She'll be fine. She's just flushing the GHB and mild sedative out of her body. She's probably going to be sleeping for a while. So, you should all go back to the hotel and get some rest. I'll be here and will bring her to the hotel when she's discharged. So go, if anything happens I'll call." Hotch says, trying to minimize the situation.

"I'm not leaving." Shawn says.

"Me either." Scott says.

"I can't leave." Daisy says.

"Fine! No one else is staying!" Hotch cuts in before everyone says their going to stay. So the rest of the group leave, reluctantly.

Jennifer's sleeping, but not a restful sleep. She wakes up and keeps looking around, looking for Josh and Walt. The nurse comes in and sees JJ awake.

"Hey there. How are you feeling?"

"Well, you sound like you're far away. Is this normal?" JJ ask, sitting up and getting a little pain in her side.

"From what little I know of the effects of GHB, yes. I talked to an Aaron Hotchner. I didn't tell him of the rape. But here's a card for a rape crisis counselor, a pamphlet about the morning after pill. These are your discharge papers and your scripts for antibiotic and pain meds. You need to take this first morning after pill now. The second is to be taken in twelve hours. If you don't take the second pill, then the first is ineffective. So it should be taken at," The nurse looks at her watch and calculates twelve hours. "Ten pm. Take it with food or milk or you'll get sick to your stomach, It's like the flu times ten. Do you have any questions?"

"Yes, will I ever remember what happened when I was drugged? Not that I want to remember a rape, but two men are dead and I don't know if I did it." JJ says, tears building in her eyes.

"I can't really say. Some people have and some people never do. Here's my cell phone number in case you need to talk and don't want to tell anyone you're with. I've been through a rape, so I know what you're going through." The nurse says.

"So have I. That one resulted in a baby. I gave her to a couple I knew. They don't know she's mine. They couldn't have kids, so I thought they were the perfect people to raise her. It was tough, yet in ways easy. No one knew of her. I went through the pregnancy and delivery alone. Except for a nice sweet nurse like yourself. Thank you for your help." JJ says, hugging the nurse.

"No problem honey. Us women have to stick together. Oh, here's another script. It's for xanax. Just in case you have a panic attack. If you have any bad reaction to any of these meds, come back in. Here's some new cloths. The others were cut off. I'll go let Mr. Hotchner know you're ready to go." The nurse says. She then leaves the room to let JJ get dressed. This is when JJ sees all the bruises and few cuts. She quickly starts to gets dressed.

"Mr. Hotchner." The nurse says, shaking a sleeping Hotch in one of the chairs.

"Wha…yeah." Hotch says, waking up.

"Ms. Jearau is getting dressed, then she'll be ready to go. She has all the paper work and scripts. Give her a few minutes. We had to give her new cloths, as you know Agent Hotchner, her cloths were cut off in search of wounds. Miss, if you knock first, you may go check on Ms. Jearau." The nurse says, with a smile.

"Thank you." Daisy says, bee lining to JJ's exam room. Daisy knocks.

"Who is it?" JJ asks, a little startled.

"Shel, it's me Daisy. May I come in?"

"Just a moment." JJ yells. Daisy can hear the agitation in her voice. A few seconds later JJ yells, "Come in!" Daisy turns the knob slowly and hesitantly opens the door.

"Hey Shel, are you okay? Do you need some help?"

"Hey Das, no I'm good. It's so great to see you again!" JJ says, uncomfortably reaching out to hug an uncomfortable Daisy.

"It's great to see you too." Daisy says, still hugging JJ. They pull apart. They both are smiling fake grins.

"Oh, Daisy could you call me Jen or JJ? Shelby died the day I left Horizon. But JJ has a fantastic life. She saves people. Well, almost saves people. I couldn't save Martha, Jess or… Anyway, I want to get out of here and go get something to eat. Will you go with me?" JJ asks.

"Sure, but let's get you back to the hotel so you can shower and change into something of your own. Plus, everyone wants to see you. All of the available Cliffhangers are here. Scott, Agent Hotchner, Agent Michaels are out in the hall waiting for you. No one wanted to leave until they had word that you were okay. You have a lot of people that love you. JJ, you're very lucky to have all these friends." Daisy says, trying to uplift JJ's mental state.

"I guess I am. I'm normally a very happy go lucky person. For some reason, officer Jensen kissed me outside the BPD. But I also get the feeling that someone else expressed their feeling to me. I was some place weird. I only remember bits and pieces. I remember seeing you, Sophie and Kate. Then being inside the house. The last clear thing I really remember was walking up stairs. Then it was kind of fuzzy. I believe I saw Jess' dead body. I also believe Josh had been nice. Then I was alone with Josh and Walt. I drank something. I couldn't move. Then I was in a different room," JJ says, squinting her eyes as if trying to see something across the room. "I was in a vehicle with Hotch. He was talking and holding my hand. Then I woke up here. I have a few stitches, but I'm fine." JJ says, smiling and shaking a little.

"Well, if you don't mind, I thought we could share a room at the hotel and catch up on the last ten years. It's been pretty lonely without my best friend." Daisy says, looking down at floor sadly.

"I would love to bank with my OLD friend." JJ smiles and jabs Daisy with an elbow.

"Hey! You be nice or Peter will put you on shuns!" Daisy says, playfully.

"Let's get out of here. I want to hear all about college and what you're been up to recently. You know, guys and work." JJ says, pulling Daisy's arm as they head out to the waiting room. They step out and the three guys rush up to the two girls.

"Jen, are you okay?" Hotch asks.

"Yes sir. Thank you for asking. Thank you all for caring so much. I'd really like to go to the hotel and shower. You know, get into some of my own cloths. I want out of here." JJ says, smiling. She felt a little uncomfortable knowing she had visible bruises on her face. She's grateful that those are the only visible marks that they can see. She starts walking and has a noticeable limp.

"What's wrong with your leg?" Shawn asks.

"My foot hurts. No big deal. Let's go guys!"

"May we sit with in the back seat?" Scott asks, about him and Daisy.

"Sure. I want to hear about your family." JJ says. Scott suttly grabs her hand to hold. JJ startled, pulls back, then grabs tighter. They smile at each other.

At the hotel, Emily and Penelope are nervously awaiting for JJ's return to the hotel.

"They should be here by now." Emily says.

"Let's give the another fifteen minutes, then call to see what's going on." Pen says. Their phone rings.

"Hello?" Emily answers.

"Em, we're leaving the hospital. We should be there soon. Have everyone else notified. She looks much worse than she really is. Let everyone know she has a bruised face and a limp. She has stitches in her stomach. She wants to shower and change. Then we can have a big party in a restaurant downstairs to welcome her out of the hospital. I'm hoping Daisy and Gideon can get JJ to open up about what happened to that house. The doc thinks she might not be able to remember what happened in there. She still has to say good-bye to Jess' body. Then id the bodies of Josh and Walt. She's the only one that can positively id them." Hotch says.

"I know. How are you doing Hotch? You sound tired and drained. I can give you a massage. I'm real good with my hands." Emily says.

"Sounds good to me. I could use one. Got to go, pulling up to the entrance to let the other in. Bye."

"Bye."

"Hotch?" Pen asks, smiling.

"Yes. Could you and Morgan spend some time in here so I can give Hotch an massage. He needs one. He could probably do without the razzing. Please?" Emily asks.

"Okay, but you owe me one. I'll go talk to Derek about it." Pen says, exiting the room.

**Sorry it took so long to update. I hope this doesn't disappoint. I'm writing other stories. I have to work on the ones that I don't have writer block on. But I do have more of this story written in long hand. So I'm hoping it will get at least another chapter. Thanks for the reviews.**


	19. Chapter 19

Her Past Catches Up With Her

I don't own Criminal Minds, Higher Ground or Crossing Jordan. Might not be suitable for some people.

Chapter 19

"So, when did you meet your wife?" JJ asks Scott.

"About a year after you left. We were at the same college. She studies dance. Ballet to be more precise. She teaches at her own dance school. We married a few years later. June 24th." Scott says, his face lighting up. JJ was happy for him.

"I'm glad you truly love her. She does wonders for you. You simply shine at the thought of her." JJ says, squeezing his hand." What about you Das?"

"I went to college. Dad died two years after you left. I met Kevin in a support group. We dated and were engaged for six months. He was killed in a car accident." Daisy says, staring out the window. She tears up.

"Daisy, you didn't tell any of us." Scott says, shocked.

"No, I didn't"

"I'm so sorry Das." JJ says, grabbing her hand and squeezing her hand.

"I'm okay. I know Kevin's in a good place." Daisy says.

"Wow! Daisy believing in heaven?"

"Yes. He was too special not to have gone to heaven." Daisy says.

"I'm sure he was special. Have you dated since?"

"No. I'm still healing. Beside, I work long, weird hours. How many people are going to understand?" Daisy asks.

"I think I know someone. I know you like this guy. You've already met him. He works similar hours." JJ says, smiling.

"Who?"

"SSA Dr. Spencer Reid. He's so smart and kind. Sure, at first he seems like a nerd. Once you got to know him, he's very sweet. Want to give him a try?" JJ says.

"Why not. At least I'll come out with a new friend."

At the hotel, JJ and Daisy walk into the hotel together. Followed by Hotch, Michaels and Scott.

"See you ladies in about an hour down in the conference room." Hotch says, taking the stairs instead of the elevator.

"Wonder what's happening in the conference room in an hour?" Scott asks.

"No biggie. Just go take your shower and get dressed. Scott and I will see you and Daisy in an hour. Bye girls." Shawn says, pulling Scott with him. JJ and Daisy walk to their room. Daisy opens the door and they go in. There's a big bouquet of red roses on the table. And on the night stand there was a bouquet of daisies. The roses were from Shawn to JJ and the daisies were from Spencer to Daisy. The card to JJ read:

_Jennifer, _

_Please accept this as a 'sympathy gift' and as a 'please let me take you to dinner tonight'. When I saw these, I thought they reminded me of you. Smell sweet and are very beautiful, like you. I hope you say yes. I'll see you in the conference room._

_Always Yours,_

_Shawn_.

JJ smiles and then the smile fades. Daisy's card read:

_Dearest Daisy, _

_I know this seems a little corny, but I thought you might like these. I know a lot of men give roses to be romantic, but I thought daisies were more beautiful than the old standard. Did you know that daisies…sorry, didn't mean to rant. Would you be interested in accompanying me to dinner tonight? I hope you say yes._

_Your New Friend,_

_Spencer Reid _

Daisy smiles and blushes. She looks up and looks over at JJ. She sees JJ reading her card. She sees the smile and then it fades. Daisy wonders what happened.

"Jen, what's wrong?"

"These are from Shawn. He wants to go out for dinner tonight." JJ says, still looking sad.

"And the problem is?"

"I…I just don't think…I have to go shower." JJ says, grabbing her bag and rushing into the bathroom, slamming the door. She looks it so no one can get it without her say so.

"Jen, are you okay?" Daisy asks, just outside the door.

"Yes. Just trying to shower and get ready before we're due in the conference room." JJ yells through the door.

"Okay. Let me know if you need anything. I'll be out here."

JJ slowly removes the sweat pants that was given to JJ at the hospital. As soon as the pants are down, JJ notices all the bruises and a few tiny nicks. JJ swallows the lump that raised in her throat. Then she removes the matching sweat shirt. She notices more bruises on her breasts and a very dark, almost black bruises on her shoulder. There of course was the bandage too, where her stitches are. She touches the bandage very carefully and winces at pain. JJ gets a flash of memory.

"Ah! Oh…" JJ yells at the memory.

She climbs into the shower and turns only the hot water on. Daisy's startled out of the third time she reads the card from Spencer.

"Jen, are you okay?" There's no answer. "Jen, is something wrong?" Still nothing. Daisy tries the door. It's locked. She knocks on the door. "Jennifer, open this door!" Daisy yells. "Jennifer Jearau, open this damn door!" Daisy yells, turning and heading to the front door. She makes sure she has the room key. Then heads to the first male occupied room. She knocks on the door.

"Who is it?" A male voice questions.

"Daisy. I need some help in my room." The door opens. There stands Shawn Michaels_._

"Hello, Daisy?" Shawn says, confused.

"Yes, Daisy. I need some help in my room. Jen is in the bathroom. I thought I heard distress. But she wouldn't answer. I was worried, so I tried to open the door and it's locked. Could you help me get the door open?" Daisy asks, with fear.

"Sure. Let me get my lock pick kit." Shawn says, turning back to his suitcase. He pulls out a little black leather case out of the pocket of his suitcase. Then makes sure he has his key to his room. He follows Daisy back to her room. She opens the door and they both hear something glass break in the bathroom. It was accompanied by a holler.

"AHHH!" Daisy and Shawn rush over to the bathroom.

"Jen! Open up!" Daisy yells.

"Agent Jearau, please open the door. It's Agent Michaels." Shawn says, trying to sound professional.

"AWWW!" JJ yells. Shawn opens his lock picking kit and goes to work on the lock.

"Hurry, god know what she's doing or going through in there." Daisy says, frustration in her voice.

"I'm going as fast as I can!" Shawn replies. A few second later the door is opened. JJ's in the tub with the shower going, but the curtain's open. JJ's in her bra and underpants. The mirror's broke and thousands ofpieces of glass are on the floor. There's blood on the floor and in the tub. Daisy slowly and carefully walks in the bathroom.

"JJ, are you okay?"

"I didn't mean to. I just hate…" JJ trails off. She just stares into space.

"JJ, how about I clean up this glass. Then I think we need to take a look at your arms and feet. We need to check to see if you have any embedded glass in any of your cuts. Shawn! Can you go get a first aid kit?"

"Sure!" Shawn yells back at Daisy from over by the entrance door. He was trying to give the girls privacy, but still be there for them if he was needed.

"JJ, where did these bruises come from?" Daisy asks, looking at her shoulders. Then notices the ones on her legs. It hits Daisy that Jennifer had been raped. The mirror got broke because she was mad at herself and she lashed out at the mirror. "JJ, was it Josh or Walt that raped you?" Daisy asks softly and as gently as she could.

Still staring at nothing, "I don't know. Don't tell. Daisy, you have to promise. Just like last tie." JJ says with tears streaking down her cheeks.

"What are you talking about sweetheart?"

"Remember, I told you about Josh and the baby. You promised not to say anything to anyone. No one knows about her. Except you and me. What am I going to do without Martha and Jess? They were counting on me." JJ says, still sitting in the tub with water still running. Daisy reaches over to shut the water off. She sits on the side of the tub and checks JJ's arms. She gets a wash cloth and picks a piece of glass out of JJ's right arm. She discards it in the trash can that's next to the toilet.

"Daisy, I'll slide it into the bathroom! Don't worry, I'm not looking!" Shawn yells into the bathroom.

"It's okay! She's in a bra and underpants. It's like a bathing suit. Could you go ask for a broom and dust pan, mop and bucket?"

"Sure, back in a minute." Shawn says, leaving.

"Let's see your feet Jen." JJ props her feet up on the edge of the tub. Daisy pulls a few small pieces out of her feet. Then Daisy wraps her feet up. And a small bandage around her arm.

**I hope you like this chapter. It's going to pick up a little and not be so dark. Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks to all who review**.


	20. Chapter 20

Her Past Catches Up With Her

_I don't own Criminal Minds, Higher Ground and Crossing Jordan._

Chapter 20

In the conference room, everyone's setting up the room for JJ's birthday. Or what they believe is her birthday.

"JJ loves butterflies." Reid says, hanging pastel color butterflies from the ceiling.

"Actually, Shelby loves horses. Or they love her. Remember when Shelby had that wild horse follow her out of the woods. She got so attached to it. Sneaking it carrots and apples." Scott says, smiling with a little giggle at the memory.

"Yeah, because you wanted to run and she didn't want you to. She ratted you out." Auggie says, holding Juliet.

"What about when Auggie and I ran? That was a nice growth experience for me. I was so harsh to Shelby." Juliet says, realizing how mean she could really be at times back then.

"I was so worried and angry with two. Roger thought I was burning myself out. The truth of it was, I thought of you cliffhangers as my children. Yes Brady, you too." Peter says, rolling his eyes at Brady.

"Gees, thanks for that glowing declaration of love Peter." Brady says sarcastically.

"Peter, remember when you caught us girls at the docks with cigarettes? The punishment was to bake a cake from scratch. The Frankenstein of cakes." Juliet says, laughing so hard her face starts to turn red.

"Yeah. Hannah's birthday cake that will live in infamy." Peter says, laughing almost as hard.

"That was before my time. But to this day, it's still told around the campfire." Sophie says.

"Isn't JJ, Daisy and Shawn supposed to be here by now?" Emily asks, with concern.

"Yeah. I'll go check on them." Reid says, leaving the room and headed to JJ and Daisy's room. Once he get there, he knocks gently. "Hello? JJ, Daisy?"

The door opens and Shawn's there to answer it. "Hey Spencer. Are you guys ready?"

"The girls are just finishing up. Are Daisy and JJ almost ready? Spencer asks.

"There was a little snag. The mirror accidentally got broke. JJ was cut a little. Daisy's tending to her. So we'll be there shortly. Hold on," Shawn walks over near the bathroom door, "Daisy, if you don't need me anymore, I'm going with Spencer to the conference room. Is there anything else you need?" Before Daisy could answer, Spencer answers for her.

"You go ahead and do what you need to. I'll stay in case she needs anything."

"Okay. Make sure you let me know if JJ needs anything. I still have to shower and get ready. I have a special surprise for Jen." Shawn says, leaving excitedly from the room. Spencer just watches.

"Shawn, can you hand me the cloths that are on the bed by the window?" Daisy asks. Spencer grabs them gently, not to wrinkle them and get to the open door. He hands them over.

"Here." He says, with his eyes closed.

"Shawn?"

"No. It's Spencer. I was sent to see what was taking you and JJ so long. Shawn had to leave. He had to shower and change. I hope you don't mind being stuck with me." Reid says, hoping Daisy gives him something at indicates that she likes him.

"I don't mind. Thanks for the Daisy's by the way. I love daisies. Let me finish up in here and I'll come out and we can have a nice conversation." Daisy says, then goes quiet. Spencer sits on the closet bed and just looks around.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In the bathroom, Daisy dries off JJ and tries to dress her in her dry cloths. Of course, JJ helps very little. She's not talking. She just stares and sits. Daisy knows mores going on than anyone thought. Daisy's at a loss at how to help her.

"JJ, what happened in that house when you were alone with Josh and Walt?" Daisy asks, not really expecting a response.

"I was on the same bed that my dead Jess was on. Josh laid me down on my back. He…" JJ starts to trail off.

"Jen, are you saying that Josh raped you?" Daisy asks calmly. JJ just sits there quietly. Daisy finishes getting JJ ready. She helps JJ out to one of the beds.

"Do you need some help?" Spencer asks, standing up ready to help.

"Can you watch her while I change real quickly?" Daisy asks, making JJ set down next to Spencer.

"Sure. What happened?"

"She accidentally broke the bathroom mirror and cut her feet and arm. Could you put her shoes on? She's having a problem. I can't figure it out. I thought one of the others could maybe figure it out. I'm used to working with children," Daisy says, moving around the room. She's grabbing her cloths and toiletries. "I'll be out in just a few minutes. Then we can go." Daisy says, disappearing behind the closed bathroom door.

"JJ, how ya doing?" Reid asks. He didn't expect a response.

"I got flowers." JJ says, almost too quiet to hear.

"Roses?" Reid asks, knowing they were.

"Yeah. From Shawn." JJ says.

"So, what'd the card say? I mean if it's not too personal."

"He wants to go out for dinner." JJ says, finally looking over at Spencer.

"Are you going to go?"

"I would feel better not being alone with him. Do you think you and Daisy could join us?" JJ asks, starting to get back to her normal volume.

"I'll talk it over with Daisy. I don't mind. Are you sure you're okay to go to the conference room? Daisy says you had an episode. Maybe you should stay and rest. You've been through a lot." Spencer says, rubbing JJ's back.

"No rest! I need to get back to normal."

"Has Hotch told you that you need to go to the morgue and see the bodies. Jess' husband would like to meet you. Then he will accompany you to see her." Reid says gently.

"Her husband's here already?" JJ starts to silently cry.

"Yes. Him and his son."

"Oh! My little nephew!" JJ stands up, limps to the door and exits.

"Wait JJ!" Reid yells, trying to stop her. JJ just walks down the hall listening for a small child's voice.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Back in the room, Reid knocks on the bathroom door. "Daisy, JJ's run off after little Scott. Should I follow her?"

"Yes, I'll be out and will help locate her." Daisy says, rushing to finish. Reid heads out.

JJ stops in the middle of the hall and listens. Shawn's coming out of his room and sees JJ just standing there with her eyes closed.

"JJ, are you okay? Why are you standing here?" Shawn asks, placing a gentle hand on her back.

"I'm listening for my young nephew's voice. I've never seen him. I need to see him. Jess would want me to at least meet him. I can't believe she's gone." JJ says, opening her eyes.

"I'm sure she would love you to meet her proud little man." Shawn says, trying to comfort JJ.

"I remember my mom bringing her home and I was so determined to take care of her. She was more like my baby than moms. Jess needed me. How could I have let her down twice?" JJ says, then she quickly moves away from Shawn. Her attitude changes just as quickly as her body. "come on, we have to get to the conference room. Hotch's probably mad that we're late." JJ says taking off. Shawn rushes to catch up.

"JJ, did you like the flowers?"

"Yes, thank you. Daisy and Reid would like to join us if you don't mind." JJ says, stepping on the elevator.

"No problem. Do you like Chinese?"

"Yeah, but let's check with Reid and Daisy. Do you know what this thing is in the conference room?" JJ asks.

"Don't know." Shawn says as they get off the elevator on the first floor. He smiles as they head to the conference room. Shawn opens the door and lets JJ go in first. People from every directs jump out and yells "Surprise!"

Of course this freaks JJ out and she bolts out of the room, back into the hall. She's breathing very fast. Shawn rushes after her.

"Jen, are you okay?"

"NO! What's going on?" Jen asks, confused.

"It's a happy birthday/welcome home from the hospital party. We were only trying to have some fun with you. Your old friends wanted to celebrate you not being in witness protection. What did we do that was so wrong?"

"First of all, don't jump out at someone who was a hostage! Second, my sister that I haven't seen in over ten years dies before I can see how she turned out! None of you can ever imagine what I've been through!" JJ yells and exit's the hotel. Shawn lets her go thinking she needs some time to think. So he walks back into the conference room.

"May I have your attention? JJ needed some time alone. So I guess just start eating. Just don't touch the cake. Enjoy yourselves. That's all." Shawn says, disappointed. He thought this would be a good think to do for her. Scott comes over to Shawn.

"How's she doing?"

"Not good. I don't know if you or I should take her over to the morgue and have her say goodbye to her sister. I caught her listening for her nephew. She's grasping at straws. We need to help her realize that she's not responsible for Jess' death. She sure can hold on to guilt like a sponge holds water. Do you want to go ask her about going to see Jess?"

"Sure. It's worth a try. She might trust me a little more. She and I used to date." Scott says, patting Shawn's shoulder and then leaving the room.

Outside, JJ's sitting on the curb. She's just watching things going on around her. She hears the foot steps and assumes it's Shawn.

"Shawn, I just need to be alone. I'll be in soon. I'm sorry that I yelled at you. I don't know what I'm doing anymore." JJ doesn't even look back to see if she was talking to Shawn.

"Shelby, sorry. JJ, please talk to me. Tell me what's eating you up. Walt and Josh are dead. They can't hurt anyone anymore."

"Scott, they killed Jess! I didn't get to see her for ten years! I don't know what happened in that house. I don't know if I killed them. I'm so confused and scared. The last time I really felt this way was when I found out he had been hurting Jess too. I REALLY wanted to kill Walt then. This time he killed her. What makes me believe that I had to have done these murders." JJ sobs as she's relaying this to Scott. Scott sits down next to JJ and just lets her cry for a moment.

"JJ, you are a FBI agent. They could've tried to hurt you again. It could've been self defense. They were murderers. They were not angels by any means. You just need to let things settle and then come to terms with everything that's gone down. You're just one person. You take on the world and then get angry if something doesn't go right. You need to stop and take stock in what's going right. YOU are alive. Jess wouldn't want you to live as if you should've died. She would want you to watch her son grow and tell her all about the funny things she did as she grew up. How you used to care for her like a mother would. How her giggles used to make you laugh. All the love you and her felt for each other. How her hair fell into her face and how she used to smell of cinnamon rolls. How well she did in school and all the friends she had. The things in life that really mattered and the things his father doesn't know. How about I take you to say goodbye to Jess and then I can introduce you to her family?" Scott says, wiping away the tears that were coating JJ's cold cheeks.

"Scott, I don't think I can say goodbye. It breaks my heart to think her son had to grow up without her. Will this guilt pass? Not just about her being hurt by Walt, but me not being there for her then and now? I never seem to be in the right place at the right time." JJ says, wiping the fresh tears.

"JJ, you are where you're supposed to be. There are no accidents. There's always a deeper reason that something happens. Come on!" Scott says, pulling JJ to her feet. Scott pulls JJ into a hug. JJ feels like she's just gone home. Not a house she grew up in, but the one place you feel you belong. "Come on Shel, sorry, JJ. I'll take you to the morgue." Scott walks JJ over to the rental car that's shared with a few others.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The ride over to the morgue was a little awkward. JJ was nervous and reluctant to see a dead Jess. But she was more than willing to see Walt and Josh dead.

"Scott, how long did it take you to get over me?" JJ watches as Scott thinks about that loaded question. Moments later, a smile crosses his face.

"Shel, I've never gotten over you. Sure, I got over the loss, but you will always be a part of me. You were the real first girlfriend I had. You helped me face my demons. You loved me, faults and all. You made me feel good about myself. No drugs or sex involved. I still believe we are soul mates. Just not romantic soul mates. No one has ever understood me the way you did and do. Not even my incredibly wonderful wife. She knows of my past. But to answer your question a little better. I couldn't even look at another person until my sophomore year of college. I dated one lady before my wife. We're still friends to this day. She came to my wedding. She baby sit's Shelby every so often." Scott says, smiling and every so often turning his head to look at JJ, but not too long.

"WOW! How's your mom and dad doing?" JJ asks, smiling.

"Mom and Dad are good. They are actually back together. They can't be happier."

"Have you heard what happened to Elaine?" JJ asks, smirking.

"No, not since she ran off with the attorney." Scott says, not smiling anymore.

"I have some news. She was murdered. She pulled the same thing she did with you. But she took it farther. She beat the boy. He shot her. The judge went easy on him because of the abuse. In a couple of years, he's a free man. The judge said 'self-defense slash post-traumatic stress disorder.' At age 21, he's going to be released from the psychiatric facility. I usually go to visit him once a year. He's a lot like you. Well, the you back then. His name is John Harvey." JJ says, looking out the window of the traveling car. She sees the building marked medical building and her stomach clenches up.

"That's very nice of you to look after him. It sounds weird, but I'm glad she's dead so she can't hurt anyone else." Scott realizes that she didn't hear a word. She stretches out his slightly larger hand to grab her in support. It startles JJ and she quickly pulls her hand away.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I know you're trying to be sweet guy you are, but I'm pretty tense and a little scared." She starts to lose control of her emotions. As Scott pulls into the parking spot and goes to get out says, "Shel, it's going to take time. You don't need to apologize," JJ doesn't move to get out. She just sits there. So Scott walks around the unfamiliar rental car. He opens her door and holds out a hand. "Come on. You're not alone. We can do this together." JJ looks at him and grabs his hand. She exit's the car and holds onto his hand like it's a life-saver. Scott and JJ walk to the front desk of the morgue.

"Can I help you folks?" A short, dark haired young lady asks.

"Yes, we are here to view three bodies that were brought in earlier today. Two men and a young lady." Scott says. JJ, who still has a death grip on his hand, looks down the hall towards the viewing rooms. It was like she could sense Jess' body down that way.

"Sure, sir. Let me get you Doctor Cavanaugh. Also Ms. Libowski," The girl dials Jordan's office number first. "Doctor Cavanaugh, we have a viewing." She pauses to listen on the other end of the call. "Ok. Thank you." She hangs up and dials Lily Libowski's line. "Yes, Lily. We have a viewing." She pauses, the same as before. "Ok. Thank you." The young lady says into the phone. "They'll be out in just a moment. There are a few chairs over there if you'd like to sit while you wait." Then she goes back to some paper work.

Scott can tell JJ's a little numb and decides to try to get her to sit down. "Shel, let's sit." JJ's like a robot. More like on auto-pilot. A few moments later a tall, dark haired lady and a shorter, lighter haired lady come to a stop in front of Scott and JJ.

"You are here for the viewing?" Jordan asks, more at Scott.

"Yes. Her sister, Jess. Oh, sorry. It might be Ashley Bowen. Then the two men. Walt and Josh." Scott says, standing. He helps JJ stand too.

"Ok, the rules are, we can't leave her alone with the men. I was told she's a suspect until proven otherwise. Follow us." Jordan and Lily direct them to the crypt. "We'll start with the men. Then she can have as much time with her sister as she would like." Jordan says and opens the swinging door into the crypt.

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**Sorry for the long awaited update. I had writers block and It took a few people on this site to get me through the block. I have to thank IrigD and Tonnie2001969. They both have givien me the confidence and insperation to get through the writers block. Now I have a couple chapters that will be updated in the next few days. I hope you all still like the story and please review and tell me where you'd like to see the direction the characters go in. Thanks again to all.**


	21. Chapter 21

Her Past Catches Up With Her

_I don't own Criminal Minds, Higher Ground or Crossing Jordan. Not really intended for younger readers._

Chapter 21

JJ shaking, walks up to the first metal slab with Josh on it. JJ just stand s there and stares at him. Scott can feel JJ's hand trembling. "That's Josh. He will never know about her. She will never know about him."

Scott doesn't understand what she's saying. "What's that sweetie?" JJ can't take her eyes off his dead shell of a body. She keeps seeing him on her, raping her back in the girls cliffhangers bathroom. Then she remembers giving birth to their child. Tears seep from JJ's eyes.

When she's finally able to make her feet move, they head over to Walt's body. She looks at the face. She sees his face above hers on her childhood bed. Then his face after she found out he was hurting Jess too. The anger boils in JJ as well as the fear. She doesn't remember much in that house. Her fear is all about how and who took the lives of these monsters.

"That's Walt. See you in hell, bastard!" JJ's shaky voice says.

"Shel, you ok?" Scott asks, pulling her hand to get her body to fall onto his body for comfort.

"Don't call me that!" JJ yells pulling away from Scott.

"I'm sorry. It's hard for me to remember." Lily and Jordan look confused.

"I'm sorry for butting in, but what was that about?" Lily asks, out of curiosity and to try to get as much info to help if she can.

"Her name WAS Shelby Merrick. But after those two threatened her life, she was in witness protection. So now her name is Jennifer Jearau. Or JJ, as she likes to be called. Same with her sister. Jess Merrick, now Ashley Bowen. Scott says, trying to be as kind as he could.

"Don't forget to tell them that Jess died because of me! Don't forget to tell them that Walt and Josh killed Martha because of e! All of it's because of ME!" JJ pushes over a tray of instruments. In the process, she cuts her finger. She doesn't realize it at first. Not until her tantrum is done and she sits on the floor in tears. Lily's the one to notice.

"Oh god, you cut your finger," Lily rushes over with a paper towel. She wraps it around her cut finger. While holding the paper towel, Lily wipes away the tears that are on JJ's cheeks. "Why do you blame yourself for their," pointing to the to dead monsters only a few feet away, "crimes? You know that THEY killed… who was it?"

JJ slowly and quietly says, "Martha and Jess."

"You are not to blame. Would Jess or Martha blame you?" Lily asks, almost as if she was talking to young child.

"No." Was all JJ could manage to vocalize.

"Ok, here. Let's get you up." Scott says, helping JJ up by reaching under her arms and lifting.

"Are you ready to see Jess?" Jordan asks, not comfortable with emotional stuff.

"My god! This is the last time I'll see Jess! Scott, can you help me over to her?" JJ asks, not feeling like she can make herself walk to the metal slab that held her baby sister's dead , lifeless body.

"Sure sweetheart. Come on." Scott held hands with one hand of his. The other one was on her back firmly. Lily and Jordan walk slowly behind them. Once JJ gets close enough to see Jess' face, her legs buckle and Scott holds her up, but Lily comes to the other side and helps hold her up.

"I'm so… so sorry, Jess! You look so much older than before. You're a mom! You were a mom. How's that little boy going to know what a wonderful woman you were?" JJ reaches over and runs the back of her hand against Jess' cheek. Just like she used to when Jess was a baby.

Out of the blue, a mans voice says, "He will know about his mother. I will see to it." JJ turns around to see a younger man standing not far from Walt and Josh.

"You're her husband aren't you?" JJ asks, unable to move toward him.

"Yes. You must be Shelby. Oh sorry, what is it now?" John asks.

"Jennifer Jearau. But you can call me JJ. Did Jess, sorry, Ashley ever talk about me?" JJ asks, turning to look down at Jess.

"She didn't really tell me about the witness protection until she thought she saw Walt at a gas station one day. She was eight months pregnant with Scottie. Before that she talked about a best friend that seemed like a sister. Her name was Shelby Ann. That's what we were going to name this baby if it was a girl. I thought it sounded so beautiful. She really looked up to you. She felt bad for making you feel bad about the first Walt problem. She was just hurt." John says, trying to comfort JJ with his words.

"Did she tell you that when Alice brought her home, I used to pretend I was her momma. Alice used to get pissed because I wouldn't let her feed her and I wouldn't let Alice change her. I was the one that named her. Oh god, when I found out Walt had hurt her, it took everything in me not to kill him. Hurting me was one thing, but hurting my Jess was unspeakable," JJ put her hand on Jess' shoulder. "What am I going to do without you?" JJ starts crying again. She started to get dizzy and then blacks out. Scott picks her up and carries her to Jordan's office to lay her out on the couch. Lily gets some water. After just a few moments, JJ wakes up. "What happened?"

"Shel, you passed out. Maybe we should take you back to the hospital?" Scott say, concerned.

"No! Please, I'm fine." Lily hands JJ the water and JJ drinks the whole thing in one gulp.

"Would you like some more?" Lily asks, taking the glass back.

"Yes, please. I don't know why, but that was the most delicious water I've ever tasted." JJ says, shocked.

"Ok, Ms. Jearau, I think you are in shock. So we're going to have your friend here, take you back to the hospital just to be safe." Jordan says, fake smiling at JJ.

"NO! I WILL not go back to the hospital. Scott, take me back to the hotel. I have a little nephew to meet." JJ says, standing up and is just about to walk out when Lily comes in with the glass of water. JJ practically rips the glass from Lily's hands and drinks it all in one gulp. Then hands the glass back to Lily. "Thank you. Nice to meet you. Take good care of my baby sister please." Then she was gone. Everyone just stood there staring at each other in shock. No one could figure out what was going on with JJ. So they chalked it up to shock and grief. When the shock wore off in the group, Scott, Lily and John go look for JJ, to no avail. So Scott calls JJ's cell phone and it rings from inside the rental car. So he decides to use JJ's phone to call her boss and have everyone look for her.

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Back at the party, everyone is having a nice time except for Hotch and Shawn. They can't stop worrying about JJ. Neither man knew Scott well enough to know if he would be helping JJ.

John had Emily and Penelope watching over Scottie. So they were too busy to notice JJ's absence. But once Daisy and Reid get to the party, Daisy doesn't realize what has happened with JJ. So they didn't even think to look for her.

Hotch's phone rings. It's the media liaison's cell phone ring. He answers it quickly. "JJ, are you ok? We-" Hotch is cut off by Scott's frantic voice.

"Agent Hotchner! This is Scott Barringer. Shel, sorry. JJ just Ided the bodies of Josh, Walt AND Jess. She'd passed out. When we suggested taking her back to the hospital, she freaked and ran. We can't find her and as you can tell, she doesn't have her phone with her. I don't have a cue of where to start looking. Maybe she's on her way back there." Scott says, at a loss of ideas.

"Scott, drive back here. Use the same streets you used to get there. Watch for her. I'll set up a few teams with the people we have here. If you don't see her between there and here, we'll go look for her. Call me if you need to. I'll call her cell phone if she shows up. Hotch hangs up. He makes his way to the biggest group of profilers, which happen to be Gideon, Morgan with Emily coming back and forth between the little boy and the two profilers. "Hey, we have a situation." Hotch in full on profiler mode.

"What is it Hotch?" Morgan asks, confused.

"JJ's alone and unaccounted for. She's MIA. She went to see the bodies. That Scott character said she 'freaked' out. She ran. We need to set up teams and start a search. He also said she'd passed out. So she might need medical attention. We need to leave Garcia with the boy. The rest of these people need to team up and start searching for her." Hotch bends his head down in a moment of defeat and worry. He knows what JJ's been through physically and mentally. Or so he thinks.

"How many teams?" Emily asks, very serious.

"Let's try four teams of…Four. Count Scott and John. We need to come up with places she might have gone. Like museums, libraries, parks or…wait. JJ's never been here before. So she had no idea where things are. Let's check airports, bus stations and train stations. We know she's not heading to her dead sisters body." Hotch then thinks the last place she would want to go. "You, you and you, come with me." Hotch points to Em, Derek and Gideon. They all exit the building and pile into the SUV.

"Care to fill us in bass man?" Morgan asks, from the back seat. Hotch is driving with Gideon in the passenger seat. Emily's directly behind him, waiting for an answer to Derek's question.

"I think JJ's gone back to that HOUSE to try to remember what happened. You know how she hates not having control." Hotch says, with the lights and sirens blaring.

"What one of us doesn't like to be in control." Emily says, in defense of her very hurt friend.

"I KNOW that Prentiss. It's going to drive her nuts until she remembers. She might never remember." Hotch says, driving like he's in Indie 500. The rest of the team keep grabbing the door handle and what Reid so kindly put it 'the oh shit handle' above their heads to steady themselves.

"Hotch, slow down. I know we need to get there, but we won't be any help injuring ourselves." Gideon says.

"You don't understand!" Hotch wasn't sure if her should tell them of the rape. He didn't want her to remember and be alone.

"We don't understand what?" Gideon asks. But before Hotch can say anything to answer, they pull up to the mansion. The yellow crime scene tape has been disturbed. Hotch quickly puts the vehicle into park. Hotch is the first to enter the house. But the rest of them not far behind.

"Jennifer!" Hotch yells into the darkened house. He gets no response. Then tries a different tactic.

"Shelby!" That's when they hear movement upstairs and they head that way. The closer they get upstairs, the closer the movement gets. Hotch points to Morgan and Gideon to head east side of the house and Emily and him were going west.

It doesn't take long for Emily and Hotch to come across JJ. She's in the same room that Jess was laying dead in the bed when JJ saw her after 10 years. JJ's pacing. She had thrown a few things. Hotch could see the glistening off her cheeks to indicate that she has been crying.

"JJ, may we come in so we can talk?" Hotch asks, gently.

"No talking." JJ says, not sounding like to woman they know.

"Jennifer, we need to talk." Hotch says, a little more harsh.

"Who's Jennifer? Does anyone have a smoke? God, I really need drag. Mmmm, and some nice CAFFIENATED coffee." JJ says, but not like JJ. She sounds like her old Shelby mannerisms.

"Shelby, may we come in and talk?" Emily asks, remembering that JJ has confused Emily as Daisy.

"Daisy?"

"Yeah. Can I come sit with you?" Emily tries to get into character. While Emily does this, Hotch calls to try to get the cliffhangers over to that house. Emily slowly walks into the room.

"Daisy, please tell me you have something with caffeine."

"Not right now. But I know where we can get some in a while. I thought you quit smoking though." Emily says, hoping that's what Daisy would've said.

"Just because Peter took those packs of cigs, doesn't mean I still can't get some. I have my ways." JJ says, smiling.

"So what are you doing here?" Emily says, indicating that room.

"Kat says there's a new person coming in today and I wanted to get a glimpse. What about you? Ez still following you around like a puppy?" JJ says mockingly.

"Yeah. But he's not that bad." Emily urges Hotch to join in. But only when Morgan and Gideon join them that Hotch makes Morgan play Ezra. Morgan walks into the room.

"Hey Das, Hey Shel." Morgan say awkwardly.

"What do you want Freakin'?" JJ asks with a sigh.

"I just wanted to see what you are doing." Morgan replies with uncertainty.

'Why can't you leave me alone Ezra?" JJ says, looking confused at Morgan.

"Shel, what's wrong?" Emily asks as Daisy.

"That looks, no it can't be. But he can't be here!" JJ says, looking at nothing.

"Who is it?" Emily asks.

"It's Josh. Remember, the rich guy. The John that used to hurt me. I don't know why he's here. Mommy and daddy can send him to much better places." JJ says, fear clouds her eyes.

"Shelby, do you think he'll hurt you here?"

"No. Peter won't let him. Plus, Scott's always around me. Just please make sure we're never left alone. Can you do that for me?" JJ says, with fear in her voice.

"Sure, but maybe you should tell Peter. He can help." Emily says.

"No. If I need to, I'll tell him. But he'll ask too many questions that I'm not willing to answer." JJ says, her hand going to her stomach.

"Shelby, are you alright?" Morgan asks.

"Ezra, just leave me alone! Daisy, please take your freak man away. He's really bothering me.! JJ says, looking at Morgan like he was an obscure painting. Morgan feels a little hurt by JJ's comment. But Emily grabs Morgan's hand.

"I'll be back in a minute Shel," Then Emily and Morgan leave the room. "What should I do Hotch?" Emily asks, with panic in her voice.

"Here, call Daisy. Have them get all the Hope Springs people over here. Especially the Scott guy. He seems to know her the best. Or the Shelby part of her. Gideon, you're up next. Try to get her back to the JJ we know and love." Hotch says. Emily takes the phone and calls Daisy's number.

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**I want to thank all of those who are reading and reviewing. It really means a lot to get the reviews. I REALLY want to know what you think of the direction the story is going. I want to thank all my friends that are so sweet to inspire me to keep going no matter what anyone says. Thanks guys. Please keep reviewing.**

**AN/ I may have changed a little thing here or there. Please bear with me. I'm not a professional writer, so I do make mistakes. Thank you.**


	22. Chapter 22

Her Past Catches Up With Her

_I don't own Criminal Minds, Higher Ground or Crossing Jordan. Not intended for younger readers._

Chapter 22

While Emily's on the phone with Daisy, Gideon enters the room where JJ's nervously pacing and mumbling.

"Shelby, may I speak with you?" Gideon asks, playing into JJ's delusions.

"Peter, I don't have anymore cigarettes. If you're here to talk about my attitude, I really don't want to talk about." JJ says, very snotty. Gideon's thinking that this must be a teenage Shelby.

"Shelby, I don't need to talk about your attitude. Although, I'd like to talk to you about what you're feeling right now." Gideon says calmly.

"Oh, come on Peter! You know I don't do the whole lovey-dovey feelings thing! I don't do it for the one-on-one!" JJ screams and starts to head out of the room. So Gideon has to think fast.

"Shelby Ann Merrick! Sit down now!" Gideon uses the father voice. This makes JJ sit in the closet chair. "Thank you." Gideon says and pulls a chair up next to JJ. "Sorry if I scared you." He says gently.

"What do you want?" JJ asks softly.

"I need you to tell me the date. And where you are. I know it's weird, but just humor me." Gideon says, reaching for a pen and pad of paper to writer her answers down.

"Well, it's June 15th 1998." JJ says, looking confused.

"Thank you. Now, where are you?" He asks, then waits.

"Mt. Horizon Schools, Hope Springs, Colorado. Peter, are you ok? You're worrying me." JJ says, leaning over towards him to whisper the last part. She didn't want people to hear her talk about possibly caring for someone's well-being.

"I'm fine. How's Jess?" Gideon asks.

"She's fine. Roger says that her group's doing fine. She's down to a nightmare once or twice a week now. I hope Walt dies in prison. I know, we have to let go of the anger. I have for what he did to me. But the new anger I have is for what he did to Jess. He promised me!" JJ's face gets red and tear escape her eyes.

"What promise was that?"

"That if I didn't tell, he wouldn't touch Jess. I found out when she was an 8th grader. My god! She was a baby! I still can't understand why someone would do that to a baby!" JJ's appearance changes drastically. "Peter, who's the new admit?" She looks Gideon in the eye. Gideon just assumes and hope he's right.

"Josh. Not sure of his last name." JJ interrupts before Gideon can continue.

"Beachman?" JJ asks, fear growing in her voice. Gideon goes with it.

"I think so. Do you know him?"

"Yes. I need to go to my dorm." JJ gets up. And tries to leave.

"Shelby Ann, sit!" Gideon says, hoping it works again.

"Peter! You can't let Josh be admitted! Please, he's beyond your help." Gideon could see the fear in JJ's eyes.

"Shelby, tell me what you know about Josh." Gideon sits, ready to write the personal info JJ has on Josh.

"I met him when I was on the streets. He was rich. He was also very rough. Not like the other Johns I dealt with." Gideon's shocked, but says nothing. "He hurt me a few times. Remember that scar I have that was documented in my admit papers? Well, that was done by Josh. The cigarette lighter from his BMW. That's not even the worst hurt. I'm not going into it, but the females here are not safe. I'm not talking students! Sophie and the other female staff!" Gideon can see JJ shaking and the urgency in her body language. Gideon doesn't know what to say to this poor girl.

"Let's give him a little time and see how it goes. We won't let him be alone with ANY female. Does that sound fair?"

"I guess. I need to go lay down. I need a nap." JJ gets up and walks over to the bed that's a few feet away from where they were just sitting. As soon as her head hit's the pillow, she's out. Gideon gets up and walks back to the other's that were outside the room. Once in front of Hotch, Gideon gives him his take on what's going on.

"Hotch, she's regressed. It was probably the stress of seeing her sister dead. Too much stress and the mind can break. She thinks it's June 15th 1998. The way she says it, Josh's first day at Mt. Horizon. She warned Peter. This asshole burned JJ with a BMW car lighter. She said that wasn't the worst. We have to get those people here. But she might wake up as JJ." Before Gideon could continue, they all here JJ scream.

"NO! STOP! GET OFF!" JJ's tangled in the bedspread. Emily rushes in to try to help.

"Hey, hey! Wake up, hun!" Emily trying to wake her. When her eyes open, JJ pulls her into a hug.

"Das, oh god! I'm glad you all got here!" Emily feels JJ's body is tense.

"Are you ok?" Emily asks, not sure what JJ just experienced.

"I need to tell you when we can be alone. Just please don't leave me." JJ says, hugging her again.

"What do you need to tell me Shelby?" Emily listens carefully.

"I told Peter that Josh didn't rape me. But he did. You guys didn't make it in time. Just don't tell anyone else. I tried to fight him. He just tried to strangle me. Scott would kill him if he finds out. I was taken away before I found out that I was pregnant. So after I had her I gave her to Peter and Sophie. I couldn't raise her and Peter and Sophie wanted a baby. I didn't even look at her before they took her. If I would have, I wouldn't have been able to give her up." JJ's crying and looking at Emily for reassurance. Emily's silently crying too. She knew about her having a baby, but now she knows how hard it was for her.

"You did what you had to do. You gave Peter and Sophie a baby. You are the most brave and strong woman I know." Emily grabs her into a hug again.

"So you don't think I'm a horrible person?" JJ asks.

"No. I don't believe that. You did what you had to do to keep your daughter safe and gave your friends a baby. She's safe with them." Emily's at a loss for words.

The others hear car doors slam. So Hotch sends Morgan down to get them to come up slowly and quietly. The first people Morgan sees in Peter and Sophie.

"Agent Morgan, what's going on?" Peter asking, confused.

"JJ's regressed to the time she was with you at the school. Gideon says that the shock of seeing Jess dead made her snap into a regression. She saw me as a boy named Ezra. Does that name ring a bell?" Morgan asks, studying the couple.

"Yeah. Ezra Friedkin was a cliffhanger. He's dead now. But he used to idolize her. Of course that was before Daisy came along." Peter says, smiling at the memories.

"She sees Emily as Daisy. And Gideon as you sir. Gideon was able to get her to give a date to which she's reliving. June 15th 1998. I believe that would've been the day Josh was admitted into the school. She sure was a firecracker then, wasn't she?" Morgan asks, shocked at what JJ was like as a kid.

"Yes. She was moody and fought us on everything. But she never tried to run away. I wouldn't have traded her for anything in this world. She really felt like a daughter to us. We all felt like a family. We had our good times as well as our bad." Sophie says, she's upset and Peter has an arm wrapped around her to comfort her some.

"That's really nice. Now we need Peter, Sophie, Daisy and Scott to all come with me. Reid, you keep everyone else down here." Morgan says, motioning for the four he named to follow him.

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Hotch and Gideon are talking.

"If we allow her to continue this way, she might remember what happened here. But then again, she might never remember because of the GHB. It's your call Hotch." Gideon says, giving Hotch the options. Before Hotch could give a decision, Morgan and the others enter the hallway.

"How's she doing?" Daisy asks, in psychiatrist mode.

"Well, she's talking to you right now. We can't hear it all, but she trusts you with her life." Gideon says.

"We told each other everything back then. I should have told you all that she had a meltdown earlier. She broke a mirror. She told me something, but I don't want to say it for everyone to hear. May I speak to you alone Agent Gideon?" Daisy asks.

"Sure, follow me." Gideon takes her to a room at the other end of the hall. "Ok, what is it?"

"She mentioned she gave birth to a baby. Josh was the dad. He raped her at Horizon. She was gone and alone before anyone would know. I don't know whatever came of the baby. But she said she had told me before. So, I can only assume that she had an episode and talked to your Agent Prentiss, thinking it was me." Daisy concluded.

"Thank you for your condor. If you need to speak to me again, alone, just say 'sidebar'. Then we'll meet back here. That poor girl has been through hell and back." Gideon says, rubbing his hand over his face.

"She turned out to be an incredible lady and I'd say that has to do with her current 'family'. I can really see that you and your team care a great deal about her. Thank you for keeping her happy and safe as long as you have. She always said she didn't need anyone to take care of her. She was quite the loner then. But it seems she's out grown that. Let's just hope she stays that way. Let's try to save and fix out girl." Daisy says and walks back to the crowd.

"What's happened while we were away?" Gideon asks, once back next to Hotch.

"They've just been giggling. Let's try to get Prentiss out of there." Hotch says. "Prentiss!" Just loud enough to get her attention.

"Shel, I'll be right back." Emily says, climbing of the bed and out of the room. "Yes sir?"

"Gideon, take Prentiss to the other room. Get her information. Scott, I think we'll send you in. Just make sure you talk about things that you did back then. We don't want to stick in new information. It could harm her more." Hotch says, running out of ideas to help her.

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In the other room, Gideon and Emily are debriefing.

"Emily, did JJ mention a baby?"

"Yes. She told me about a baby when she had that mini-meltdown at the BPD. She said that he DID rape her and she was alone when she gave birth. The nurse was sweet to her. That was how she came up with Jennifer as her new name. She said it was a baby girl. At first, she wouldn't admit to the rape. I had to separate JJ and Shelby. Once I asked her if Shelby got raped, she spilled about the baby. She said she gave it to Peter and Sophie to adopt." Emily says.

"So what were you two giggling about?" Gideon asks, smiling.

"I could see JJ and I being friends as teens. She was talking about Scott. About how he was different than any other guys that had a thing for. How he made her feel special and like she was the only person in the room. Then she talked about his kisses. She's said he was a bit cruel when he found out about her having to hook herself to survive on the streets. Bt he got it after a while. I sure as hell would have dated someone like Scott as a teen." Emily chuckles, but stops when she notices that Gideon wasn't chuckling.

"So she gave you nothing else helpful?" Gideon asks.

"No. Sorry." Emily says and walks back to the group.

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When they both get back, they see Scott and JJ dancing.

"We all thought that Scott and Shelby would marry. They probably would have if it wouldn't have been for Josh and Walt." Sophie says. Smiling at the two of her favorite ex-students.

All of a sudden, JJ grabs her side and falls to her knees. She's clearly in pain.

"Shel, what's wrong?" Scott asks, kneeling beside her, unsure about what to do.

"Ahhh! I think it's coming!" JJ says, looking like she was about to give birth.

"Shelby! What's about to come?" Scott asks, freaking out.

"Oh god! It hurts! Ahhh!" JJ lays back and gets into the position to deliver the phantom baby.

"Shelby, who's baby is it?" Scott asks, scared for her.

"Josh! From the bathroom attack! Ahhh!" JJ's face is red. Scott and the others are in shock.

"But you said Josh didn't rape you." Scott's in the position that a loving father would be in.

"He did! You guys didn't get there in time! Oh god! Here it comes!" JJ acts out the last push before JJ becomes a mom. "She's healthy! I can't see her!" Tears slide down her cheeks.

"Why honey?" This is ripping Scott's heart out.

"If I see her, then I can't give her away! She needs them as much as they need her!"

"Who are you talking about Shel?" Scott asks, wiping both their tears.

"Peter and Sophie. She's theirs now. I don't want to think about her anymore. Or all the nights of her kicking kept me awake. I sent all the sonograms with her. I started a baby book. A little pink book with a satin ribbon. I feel so empty, Scott. I did the right thing, right?" JJ asks, leaning against Scott. He wraps her in his arms.

"Yes honey, I think you did the right thing. You are so wonderful and brave." Scott smoothes JJ's hair with his hand as he starts rocking her. Peter and Sophie are just beside themselves. They always thought of Shelby when they looked at their daughter. Now they know why. All the rocking has JJ drifting off to sleep. Scott picks her up and places her gently into the bed. He walks out of the room. "WOW! She went through all that alone. I'm stunned!" Scott says and sits on one of the steps.

"Oh my god! She gave us the most precious gift! I had always wondered who sent us that beautiful baby. I knew the mother was special. She gave us everything. Baby book that was started, cloths, crib, car seat, bottles and everything to get us started. She even sent a typed letter to us and one for her. JJ needs to meet her and see that we have taken good care of OUR little girl." Sophie says through tears.

While they are trying to grasp this bit of news, JJ's rolling a little as she sleeps. But rolls right off the bed and slams onto the floor with a loud thump.

"Ahhh! Damn it! I really have to stop DOING that!" JJ says, getting up off the floor. She looks at the bed and then around the room. "Where the hell am I?" JJ rubs her butt and tries to find something familiar. She sees Gideon just outside the door. "Gideon? Gideon, where are we?" JJ walks to the door to meet him.

"JJ?" He asks, making sure she was JJ and not her alter-ego, Shelby.

"Yes, Gid. What's going on?" Then she sees everyone. Her eyes get big as saucers. "Oh my god! Peter! Sophie! Scott! Daisy! What are you doing here?" JJ asks, looking between them all. No one says anything. JJ begins to panic. "I'm not liking the feeling I'm getting here! I should be happy! If you are all here, then…" JJ's mind is racing to try to get all the info to catch up. Hotch comes over and grabs her shoulders.

"Jennifer, you're no longer in the witness protection. Why don't we go back to the hotel and sort this all out?"

"If all my old family is here, where is Jess? I want to see Jess, Hotch." JJ says, trying to break lose of Hotch grips.

"Come on. Let's go to the hotel." Hotch says, thinking the hospital is probably the better bet. She needs to be sedated.

"Please, Hotch. I'll do whatever you want. Just let me see my baby sister first." JJ asks, a single tear meanders down her cheek.

"We can't do that right now. As soon as we can get her here, then you can. Let's have you checked out at the hospital first." Hotch says, walking her out of the house, with everyone in tow.

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At the hospital, they took a look at her finger. Then they set up tests for head injuries that could cause JJ to hallucinate. If the tests came back negative for that, then they were going to hold her for 72 hours. Let her get the rest her mind and body needed.

When she's in her room alone after having the MRI test, John comes in with Scott Jr. "JJ, this is your nephew, Scott. Scottie, this is mommy's sister, Aunt Jennifer." John says, placing the small four year old on the bed next to JJ.

"Hello, Scott. It's nice to finally meet you." JJ says, shaking his tiny hand. She didn't want to hug him and risk scaring him.

"Hi ant Jennelfer." Scottie says, in the little boy voice and slur.

"Scott, it's Jennifer. Say it for my buddy." John says.

"NO! I mean, just call me JJ." JJ says to them both.

"Ok, can you call her Aunt JJ?" John asks.

"Ant JJ. That easier." Scott says and falls into JJ's arms. JJ hugs him. She's still shocked at his open affection toward a stranger.

"Thank you for the hug Scott. You're such a big boy. I bet you're daddy's really proud of you." JJ says, smiling at the two males in front of her.

"Mommy too?" Scott asks, looking for an answer.

"I'm sure she…IS" JJ's voice and eyes sadden.

"Hey buddy, let's let Aunt JJ rest and we'll come back to visit her soon. I need to talk to her for just a minute and then we can go back to the hotel for a swim." John says, walking one excited little boy out to the hall to Penelope. Then comes back into JJ's room. "Sorry, may we talk for a moment?"

"Sure. Thank you for the introduction. He sure looks like Jess when she was that age." JJ smiles at the memory.

"Actually, that's what we need to talk about." John says, with an ominous tone.

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**Thanks for all the nice reviews. If you have any thought, let me know. Send me a PM and I will get back with you. I hope you like the chapter(s). Keep reading and reviewing.**


	23. Chapter 23

Her Past Catches Up With her

_I don't own Criminal Minds, Higher Ground or Crossing Jordan. But I wish I did._

Chapter 23

"What is it John?" JJ asks, confused and anxious.

"We need to talk about where to bury Ashley. I'd like to take her back to Michigan and bury her there. And I was wondering if you'd like to come for a visit. See where your sister lived. Maybe go through some scrapbooks and photo albums. Of course, when you're feeling better. If you need any help, you let me know. We're family. Scott needs his aunt who looks an awful lot like his mommy." John says, smiling.

"I think that it's only right to take her back to Michigan. She needs to be close to you guys. I honestly didn't get the chance to know her as an adult. But I have my special memories of her. When I come to visit, I can visit her grave." JJ says, tears escaping her eyes and she quickly wipes them away. John sees the sadness in her eyes and body language. He hugs her, but JJ winces in pain. Her bruises and stitches a little tender.

"Sorry. Do you want me to get a nurse?" John says, pulling away gently.

"No. I've had enough drugs. They have some in this thing." JJ says, pointing to the IV bag.

"Well, I'll let you rest. Scott and I will be in town for another day or so. But we'll come and see you soon. Call if you need or want anything." John says, leaning in and kissing JJ on the forehead. This confuses JJ. John leaves the room.

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While JJ lays there, hovering between sleep and consciousness, she starts to remember seeing Derek in the house. The moment he tells her that Jess was dead. JJ's breathing increases and she thrashes about. The moment passes and she becomes emotionless and remembers the questions she asked. Josh handing her the bottled water. Then she remembers feeling weird, then she feels the guys move her to the bed where her dead sister was, moments earlier. She couldn't move. Then it gets blotchy. She believes that she's remembering Walt and one of the nights at home. Then she hears two men arguing. Then she sees Josh's face above her. Then she feels cold liquid on her hands. She looks down and sees red. This freaks her out. She wakes up screaming. Or so she thought. She felt like she was screaming, but no sound escaped her mouth. She's trying to catch her breath. To her surprise, Shawn comes in to deliver some flowers and balloons. He looks over and sees JJ in distress. He rushes to her side.

"Jennifer, what's wrong?" Shawn asks, concerned. JJ's shaking and still breathing heavily. "Calm down. Slow your breathing down." Shawn presses the nurses call button. JJ tries to stop him. She doesn't want to be sedated again. Too afraid of the memories or dreams. The nurse rushes in.

"What can I do for you?" The short, dark hair nurse asks.

"I came in and she seems to be having trouble. She can't even talk." Shawn says, worried. He didn't even realize that he was holding her hand.

"Ok, let me go get the vitals cart." The nurse leaves the room. JJ's calmed down some.

"Night…mare. Don't…want…to…sleep." JJ says, with a tear dropping out of her eye.

"Shh! It's ok sweetheart. I won't leave you. I'll try to keep you unsedated. But if it will help you, then you should take it. I won't leave you. Don't you worry." Shawn says, rubbing the hand he was unknowingly holding.

"No…sleep. I.. think.. I.. might.. Be.. Remembering." JJ says, pulling Shawn closer and burying her face in Shawn's chest.

"It's ok JJ. Do you want to tell me what you remember?" Shawn asks, pulling her closer and rubbing her back.

"I.. heard.. fighting. Josh.. and.. Walt. Then.. blood. My hands.. A knife." JJ mumbles into his chest, pulling his shirt into her fists. Afraid to let go of her only means of safety.

"It's ok. You don't have all the information. Just stay calm." Shawn says. He's thinking that the more she talks, the more she sounds like one of his units' victims. The nurse comes back in with the cart.

"Ok. Let's get your vitals. Sir, can you step back for a moment?" The nurse waits.

"JJ, you have to let go. I won't be more than arms length away. Let's get your vitals fast and then I'll climb up into bed next to you. I'll hold you until you tell me to leave." Shawn says, getting her to release her hold. The nurse gets her temp, blood pressure, blood oxygen level and her pulse. Didn't take more than ten minutes tops.

"I'll talk to the doctor and see if he wants to sedate you again. You seem to be ok, except for your blood pressure." The nurse states, then leaves. Shawn climbs up into bed next to JJ and holds her. She drifts off to sleep before the nurse comes back. She injects the sedative into her IV.

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Later that day, at the hotel, Hotch and the team try to piece together what exactly happened at the Beachman home. So far the info they have is that Walt died first. Josh second. They died one and a half hour apart. They think that Josh killed Walt because of the angle of the stab wounds were too tall for JJ to have inflected. But Josh looked to be killed by JJ. The angle fit. Jordan and Nigel test both men for any signs of sexual stimulation before death. Both Jordan and Nigel are shocked at the results. So Jordan calls Hotch.

"Hotchner." He answers his phone.

"Agent Hotchner, it medical examiner, Jordan Cavanaugh. We have some info to relay to you. This might come as a shock, but both men have had sex within hours of death. Plus, we did a rape kit on Ashley Bowers. It came back positive. The semen we collected match that of Walt Anderson. Also another interesting fact is Walt Anderson was a sterile man. But the fluids we got off Walt were from TWO different women. One, Ashley Bowers and an unknown woman. Two and two make four. So with that process of elimination, the other woman's Agent Jennifer Jearau. The fluids from Josh Beachman, match the unknown from Walt Anderson. So it looks as if Agent Jearau was raped by both men. The way our theory goes is Walt must have raped Agent Jearau. Josh came in on it and stabbed Walt. Then Josh raped Agent Jearau and she must have stabbed him. Does this sound logical and plausible?" Jordan asks.

"It sounds like it fits. But JJ would had to have killed Josh in self-defense. Yes, she hated him a lot, but she would've sent him back to prison. Is there any way you can prove that it was self-defense?" Hotch asks.

"Well, we have the cloths that were cut off Agent Jearau. We'll look into this and get back with you. Call you ASAP." Jordan says, hanging up. "Nigel, we have more work to do."

"We have to see if he was on top of her when he was stabbed. Where was Agent Jearau found?" Nigel asks. Jordan reads from the report.

"She was found on the first floor gym. That place was huge. I could see getting lost if she was in shock." Jordan says.

"That poor woman. Let's see if she killed during her assault." Nigel says, dressing a mannequin in the cut clothing that was once Jennifer Jearau's. It only took Nigel moments to align everything correctly. He write his report.

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Early the next morning, JJ wakes up with Shawn holding her hand, but sitting in a chair next to her bed. Shawn's still asleep with his head laying on the bed. JJ smiles at the cute Agent that was now her own personal protector. She sits up and leans forward to place a light kiss on his head. It wasn't soft enough because this wake Shawn.

"What's wrong?" Shawn says in defense mode.

"Shawn, calm down. Nothings wrong. Thank you for staying with me." JJ says, smiling.

"Any dreams?"

"No. No dreams, nightmares or memories. Just restful sleep. You can go back to the hotel. I'm fine now." JJ says.

"Well, not until we talk about last night. You said you remembered fighting. Then you saw red, blood and a knife in your hand. Do you remember anything more?" Shawn asks.

"No. I barely remember that. Thank god!" JJ says. Before the conversation can continue, there's a knock on the door. "Come in!" Hotch walks in and he doesn't look happy. At least no happier then normal. "Hey Hotch. What's up?"

"Shawn, I need to speak with JJ alone. Can you please wait outside. I'll let you know when it's ok to enter." Hotch says, looking at JJ and not Shawn.

"JJ, are you ok with me leaving?" Shawn asks, keeping his word to JJ.

"I'll be fine. Thank you Shawn." JJ says, smiling an ok to him. He gets up and walks out, shutting the door behind him. "What's up Hotch?"

"We need to talk about a few things. Like some things that were revealed yesterday. JJ, do you remember telling Emily that you were raped by Josh back at Horizon? And that you were pregnant?" Hotch asks, watching JJ's reaction.

"No. I don't recall saying that. What else did I say?" JJ asks, not looking Hotch in the eyes.

"Well, you talked about giving your baby to Peter and Sophie. JJ, do you remember ANY of what went down at the house?"

"I don't know if they were memories or just nightmares. But I do recall feeling cold liquid on my hands. Blood and a bloody knife. But it was like a flash. I was hoping it was just a nightmare. Is there any new info?" JJ asks.

"Well, Jess was raped before she died. It was Walt. We've pieced together some more info, but I don't know if I should tell you. With your psyche in jeopardy, I think it can wait. Was there **ANYTHING** you want to tell me?" Hotch asks, looking directly at JJ's eyes, she knows he means business.

"Can we talk about this later? I really would love to visit with my friends I haven't seen in ten plus years." JJ asks, nervously.

"I'll let this one slide. But we need to get to the bottom of this to clear your name. I know that you went through a lot in the last few days. I know that you're trying to hold it together, but JJ, you have to deal with this." Hotch says, stepping closer to her bed and patting her hand. Trying to show some comfort without over stepping certain boundaries.

"Are you trying to get me to say that what happened to Jess happened to me too?" JJ asks, not looking at Hotch.

"I don't want to MAKE you remember anything that your mind can't handle. But, I do have to say that I have proof that there was an assault." Hotch says, squeezing her hand this time. JJ looks up to the tall, dark haired man.

"I know Josh raped me, again. There, are you happy!" JJ says, crying. She hated crying, knowing it's a sign of weakness. But she hated it more when she had to cry in front of Hotch.

"No, I'm not happy! Why would you think that would make me happy?" Hotch asked stunned.

"Because I admitted it! Oh god!" JJ remembers that she didn't take the second pill to prevent pregnancy. "I don't remember the rape. The nurse that was here the first time told me that my rape kit came back positive." JJ looks straight ahead.

"Why didn't you tell me? Didn't you think I had a right to know?" Hotch asks, placing a hand under her chin and forcing her to meet his gaze.

"NO! It wasn't your body! It wasn't your daughter, wife, mother or SISTER! It was my body and myself respect that I was trying to protect! I don't want to be looked at as broken! But I think I am!" JJ says, crying harder. Hotch didn't like to see her cry. He pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry JJ. I know it's not my body. But I do look at you as a daughter. One I had **VERY** young." Hotch smiles and JJ giggles.

"Good one, sir." JJ smiles and wipes away the tears that have flooded her rosy cheeks. "Thank you. Can I ask a favor?"

"Depends." Hotch had a feeling he knew what the favor was.

"Can we keep this between you and I? I don't want to be treated differently by the team."

"We will keep it between us for as long as we can. The M.E knows. But there's more. Can you handle anymore?" Hotch watches her reaction.

"Yes. What? Did Walt rape me too?" JJ asks in a mocking tone.

"I'm sorry JJ, but yes he did." Hotch waits for a scream or yelling. But she just sat there letting it sink in.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing I can't recall it. That would be a bitch. But how will I really know if it was a memory of that night or a memory from long ago?" JJ asks, light enough like she was asking for him to pass the salt and pepper.

"I don't know. We'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it. If you need to talk, let me know. You know I listen pretty well. When we get home, you need to get some counseling." Hotch says, matter of fact.

"Thanks Hotch. Could you send Shawn back in?" JJ says, not really looking happy or sad.

"Sure. Just remember, I'm here." Hotch squeezes her hand and she smiles at him. He lets go of her delicate hand and vacates the room. Shawn re-enters the room and rushes over to JJ.

"Hey, you ok? What happened?" Shawn asks, brushing a few blonde locks out of her eyes.

"Hotch just had a few details to discuss with me. I'm fine. Will you sit here and hold me? For some strange reason you make me feel so safe in your arms." JJ smiles at him.

"Sure. But can I say something first?" Shawn asks, nervously.

"Yeah. Go ahead." JJ says, looking at him and waits for his statement. She isn't expecting what's about to happen.

"I don't want to scare you by saying this," Before he can even finish his sentence, JJ cuts in.

"I already know. How many people know?" JJ asked, annoyed. She believes that he's referring to the rapes.

"Just me. Why would anyone else know? This effects just you and I." Shawn says, trying to get the horrified look off JJ's face.

"Ok. Sorry. Continue."

"What did you think I was talking about?" Shawn asks, intrigued.

"It's nothing. Please, tell me what you were going to say." JJ focuses on him and what he's about to say.

"I was just going to say…" Shawn gets cold feet and can't gather the courage to tell her, so he makes something up. "I forgot to tell you that the plant in your office got knocked over. I managed to get as much soil back into the pot and made sure the roots were completely covered. I vacuumed up the remaining soil. I just wanted to tell you that before I forgot." Shawn says, thinking covered up nicely.

"That's it? I thought it was something important. That's fine. Now come up here and hold me please." JJ says, patting her bed next to her. She scoots over to make room. Shawn climbs up and wraps his arms around her and pulls her in close to his body. "Shawn, thank you for coming with me to Boston, so I wouldn't be alone. Thank you for caring about my well-being. And thank you for holding me. I don't know why, but I feel **SO **safe in your arms." JJ says, cozying up to Shawn and letting out a comfort sigh. Not long after they stopped talking, they fell asleep.

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**Thanks to all who have read and reviewed. I hope you liked this chapter. Sorry if it seems a little too choppy. Have been going through a family crisis. I'll try to be a little more focused when writing. Let me know what you think of the story and/or chapter. I'd love to hear from you.**


	24. Chapter 24

Her Past Catches Up With Her

_I don't own Criminal Minds, Higher Ground or Crossing Jordan._

Chapter 24

After Hotch leaves the hospital, he heads to the county morgue. He needs to speak to one Jordan Cavanaugh. He needs to talk to her to see if maybe they could keep JJ's name out of the 'raped' column in the report. There had to be a way to indicate that Josh 'attempted' to rape her and she stabbed him before he had a chance to. He normally was a 'by the book' agent. But seeing JJ going through all that she had, he wanted to save her the stigma of being labeled a 'rape survivor'.

Once he gets to the front desk, he asks to see one Jordan Cavanaugh and her assistant, Nigel. Hotch couldn't remember his last name. But he also figured if he talked to Jordan, then she could talk to Nigel. The receptionist calls Jordan. Jordan comes out to meet Agent Hotchner. They shake hands.

"Hello. I'm SSA Aaron Hotchner. We spoke on the phone."

"Yes, I remember. Medical Examiner, Jordan Cavanaugh. What can I help you with know?" Jordan asks, frustrates and a little annoyed, but friendly.

"May we speak some place a little more private?" Hotch asks.

"Sure. Let's go to a conference room. Follow me." Jordan leads Hotch to the first available conference room. After they walk in, Jordan shuts the door. They both side down before either of them speak. "What can I do for you sir?"

"Do you remember out earlier phone conversation?" Hotch asks, not loosing eye contact with Jordan.

"Sure. What about it?" Jordan asks, confused.

"Agent Jearau's had a real difficult time these last few days. I was hoping I could appeal to your sympathetic side and ask you to keep her current assaults out of the reports. Don't worry about her getting the help she needs. I will see that she gets counseling. It's just something very hard for a woman agent to live down being raped, let alone raped twice in a matter of hours. I'm not saying she has anything to be ashamed of, but she has to work with these people. Think about it. Wouldn't something like this make you feel you were being look at differently because of something beyond your control?" Hotch says, hoping he made his point and got her enough.

"Sir, I do understand your problem. But I think I need to think about this. I do feel for Agent Jearau, but it illegal to falsify a document of official capacity. I will think about it and call you later." Jordan stands up and shakes Hotch's hand. Hotch stands and shakes her hand.

"Thank you for concerning my request. I hope to hear from you shortly. Hotch leaves the morgue and heads back to the hotel.

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**Sorry for the shortness of this chapter, but I felt it didn't need to be longer. Please read and review. Tell me what you think and were you'd like to see the story go. Thanks to all who have been reading and reviewing. I hope I have done the story/characters justice.**


	25. Chapter 25

Her Past Catches Up With Her

I don't own Criminal Minds, Higher Ground or Crossing Jordan.

Chapter 25

Peter and Sophie are waiting at the airport for Roger and their daughter. Peter and Sophie wanted JJ to get to know THEIR daughter. They feel they owe JJ that, at least. They had no idea how they were going to handle this. That's when they see Roger and their rambunctious ten year old daughter.

"Mom, dad!" The young version of JJ yells as she runs to them.

"Hey Peanut!" Peter yells, engulfing her in a big bear hug and twirling her around. Her feet swinging in the air along with the giggles radiating from the two. Sophie and Roger watch the two with big smiles on their faces.

"So, was the plane ride uneventful?" Sophie asks Roger.

"Yeah. Except for Annie asking all these questions about why she was getting to fly on an airplane without her mom and dad. I didn't know what to tell her. So I told her to wait and talk to you and Peter. In all honesty, I don't know what's going on either." Roger says, confused.

"I'll explain things on the way to the hospital. You don't mind a quick trip to the hospital?" Sophie asks.

"No, I don't mind. I'm glad to see you are ok. I was very worried. Especially when Peter said you were kidnapped. You're ok, right?" Roger says, leaning over and scooping her up in a hug.

"Roger, I'm fine. Jess wasn't so lucky. She was killed. She was pregnant too. She has a beautiful baby boy named Scott. She had a nice young man for a husband. He really treated her the way she needed to be treated. Shelby took it hard." Sophie says, and as she pauses, Roger interrupts.

"Shelby's here?" Roger asks in shock.

"Yes. She's in the hospital. I have some very surprising news. Shelby's Annie's biological mother. Shelby sent her to us." Sophie says, as she and Roger walk arm in arm as Peter and Annie goof around in front of then as they go to collect their luggage.

"So Annie was Shelby's baby?" Roger asks, in shock.

"Yes. Josh DID rape Shelby in that bathroom. Before she found out she was pregnant, she was in witness protection. She didn't want to keep the baby when she had to start over. She knew Peter and I wanted a baby desperately. Shelby and I had the same hair and eye color. Josh had Peter's hair and eye color. That's why we got all the stuff to start out with. She never held Annie. She gave birth and had them take her. While she was pregnant, she made out the baby book and the letters. She went through the whole pregnancy alone. And the effects of the rape. She's doing so well. Her new name's Jennifer Jearau. She's an FBI agent. She looks so good and healthy. You are going to flip when you see her. She does have a few bruises, cuts and hurts. She's grown beautifully. I can't wait for you to see her." Sophie says, like a proud mother.

"I can't wait to see her. This is why you wanted Annie here, so she could meet her." Roger says, catching on.

"Call her Jennifer or JJ. She gets mad if you call her Shelby." Sophie says.

"Got them! Let's go!" Peter says about the luggage. He leans down to whisper into Annie's ear, "we need to have a talk in the car."

"Ok daddy. Did I do something wrong?" Annie asks, confused and trying to remember what she could've done that was wrong.

"No Peanut. I'm going to tell you of a secret heroine. She's a big part of your life." Peter says, like he's about to tell her story. They reach the car and get the luggage into the car. Peter and Annie get in the backseat and Roger in the passenger seat with Sophie driving.

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_JJ's sitting on a soft sofa. JJ was obviously pregnant. Her big baby belly under her hand as she gently rubs the fabric above it. She looks up as a man walks into the room. She looks at the face, and it's Shawn. She starts at him as he comes over to her, places his hand on her belly, then leans down to kiss her belly. He comes back up to her face, kisses her passionately and then pulls away. :Hey babe, hey baby. You be nice to mommy. Try to leave her bladder alone," Shawn giggles, making JJ smile with a little chuckle. "Honey, just stay on the sofa today and I'll bring you your cherry-chocolate milkshake and your cherry chip ice cream. Do you want or need anything else?" Shawn asks, sitting next to JJ, who's spread out on the sofa. In her words, 'like a beached whale'._

_"No, hun. Just the shake, ice cream and you." JJ says, grabbing his tie and pulling him close to her to kiss. Once down with the kiss, Shawn pulls away, and smiles at her._

_"With you being so horny while your pregnant, might be the death of me woman." Shawn says, with a little joy and happiness in his voice. Before JJ can answer, she looks past Shawn and sees the ghost of Josh and Walt. _

JJ wakes up fast, sitting up and almost knocking Shawn off the bed. She grasps as little.

"JJ, what's wrong honey?" Shawn asks, still sleepy.

"Uh.. just a nightmare. Well, a nightmare of sorts. Sorry, did I hurt you?" JJ asks, trying fight the thoughts and feelings lingering from the dream.

"I'm fine honey. Wow, that must have been a doozy of a dream. You sounded like you giggling. That's part of the reason I didn't take the header to the floor. The giggling woke me a little. Then something changed. That's when you woke up. Are you ok?" Shawn asks, after standing up after catching himself before he fell completely to the floor. Standing up and his arm around her back, he waits for her to answer him.

"I'm fine. Will you do me a favor." JJ asks, still looking a little pale.

"Sure. What is it?" Shawn says, looking JJ straight in the eyes.

"Could you go find out when I can get discharged? I'd really like to see my old friends. Spend a little time with my little nephew. Then I have a few funerals to get to." JJ says, frowning at the last part.

"Sure thing sweetheart. Back in a minute." Shawn says, leaving the room. JJ leans back and takes a deep cleansing breath. She closes her eyes and tried to stay calm, but her thoughts keep going back to the dream. There was a knock at her door. This made JJ jump and gasp.

"Huh! Come in." JJ says, trying to cover her fear and shock. The door opens and in walks Peter and Sophie. JJ wasn't quite ready for this. Peter was the first to speak.

"Jennifer, we needed to speak with you." Peter says, walking over to the side of the bed that Shawn had just vacated. Sophie came up on the other side. Causing JJ to feel a little trapped in.

"Sophie, could you stand over there please." JJ asks, pointing to the spot where Peter was standing. JJ thought she might need to bee line to the bathroom. She just started to feel a bit nauseous.

"Sure darlin'." Sophie says, moving to stand next to Peter. Peter puts an arm around Sophie. JJ continues what she was saying

"Ok, but I may have to run to the bathroom. I'm feeling a bit sick to my stomach." JJ says, not looking into their eyes. She knew this was not going to be a good conversation.

"Why did you lie about what happened in the cliffhanger bathroom?" Peter asks, almost in tears.

"Because, Peter. I was afraid you'd look at me like you are right now. I guess I also was trying to forget about it. It wasn't like I haven't gone through ALMOST the same thing with Walt all those years and then on the street with Josh before. Yes, it was worse, but I thought I could get through it if I set my mind to it. I didn't expect to have to go into hiding. I might have told you if I was still there. I started to believe what you were saying. That I didn't have to keep everything bottled up and hidden away inside. But then I had to rely on myself, again. I would have called if I was permitted. I'm so sorry Peter." JJ says, looking at her hands that she was nervously fidgeting with.

"It must have been hard going through that nine months alone. No friends, no support." Sophie says, placing a hand on JJ's arm. This made her pull away and look at Sophie. Sophie looked shocked.

"Sorry. I'm just a little edgy. How do you know?" JJ asks, confused.

"We were there when you told Scott. You might not remember. We were given the most precious gift by you. We knew the person who sent us that beautiful bundle of joy was a special person. We never thought in a million years it was you. It broke my heart to hear you never held her or seen her." Sophie says, crying. She wipes her tears as they drip down her cheeks.

"I knew I couldn't start a new life with a baby. So I thought it out, long and hard. I needed to give her up. But I wanted a couple I would trust my life with. I thought of my saviors and then also thought it would be a piece of me with you always. I thought of you both as parents. I then thought the best thing I could do for her was to give her the parents we all wanted and needed. Also, if Josh found me, he wouldn't even know she existed. Is she healthy?" JJ asks, shaking at what she had just admitted to.

"She's completely healthy. You did a great job." Peter says.

"She doesn't have acid efflux? Did she have colic? Jess had colic." JJ says, crying. She brings her knees up to her chest in defense mechanism. Also distance herself from the situation.

"No, darlin'. She has never had either." Sophie says, smiling.

"Good. I'd hate to have given you a child that would just cause you pain. You know, seeing them suffer." JJ says, getting more uncomfortable.

"Jennifer, would you like to meet OUR," Sophie gestured to all three of them, " daughter? She's in the hall." Sophie asks, not knowing what to expect. JJ's breath catches in her throat. She quickly removes her blankets and rushes to the bathroom. Peter and Sophie can hear her vomiting. A few seconds later, they hear the toilet flush. JJ comes out, wiping her mouth with paper towel. Before JJ makes it back to the bed, Shawn opens the door and walks in. He hasn't a clue what he just walked in on. JJ turns around too fast and gets dizzy. Shawn sees her going down and rushes over to catch her.

"Woow! Hey, I go away for a few minutes and you wind up on the floor. Hello Peter, Sophie." Shawn says, holding a shaking JJ in his arms. He helps her back into bed. "The doctor says he'll come in to talk to you soon. Honey, what's wrong? And don't say nothing. You're trembling." Shawn asks, looking at JJ and then Peter and Sophie.

"Peter, Sophie, could you give us a few minutes?" JJ asks, hoping they know she needs to tell Shawn what's going on.

"Sure. We'll be out in the hall." Peter says, as Peter and Sophie leaves the room. Shawn sits down next to JJ and waits for her to start. JJ has fear all over her face.

"Shawn, Peter and Sophie run a school for trouble teens. You know this, right?"

"Yeah." Shawn says, grabbing one of JJ's hands in his.

"Well, I was a student there eleven plus years ago. That was when I was Shelby. Well, the last few months I was there, Josh… How do I say this?" JJ says, looking away from Shawn. Shawn had seen this look too many times before. So he tries to put her at ease.

"Josh raped you?" Shawn asks, trying to get a look at her eyes. When he asks that, it shocks her and she looks back at him.

"Yes." JJ says.

"It's ok honey. You did nothing wrong." Shawn says, pulling JJ in for a hug. While they hug, JJ musters up the courage to continue.

"Shawn, there's more. I got pregnant," JJ says, as Shawn pulls away and looks her in the eyes. He says nothing, so she continues. "I gave the baby to Peter and Sophie." When JJ said that, Shawn places both hands on JJ's face and brings her in for their first tender kiss. JJ's hair sands up on her neck and arms. She would later describe it as electricity running through her body.

They both slowly pull away, eyes still closed. They slowly open their eyes. When they meet gazes, they both smile. It was silent for a few seconds, but Shawn breaks the silence first.

"Sorry, but I felt that was the right moment." Shawn says, smiling.

"That was amazing." JJ says, smiling big.

"You are amazing. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Peter and Sophie seem like a very loving couple. You did good. You are my new hero." Shawn says, pecking a few little kisses on JJ's smiling lips.

"Shawn, I'm no one's hero. But Peter and Sophie just found out that I gave her to them. They have her right outside the door," JJ's smile fades and is replaced by fear. "They want me to meet her. What if she hates me for giving her up? I don't know if I can do this." JJ says, starting to shake again. Shawn pulls her into a hug.

"JJ, I'm here with you. Peter and Sophie will be here. You're not alone. You can do this. You got through the rape, the birth and giving her up, alone. So this should be a piece of cake. Do you want me to go get them? I wont leave your side." Shawn asks, still hugging her. JJ pulls away.

"Yeah. Let's do this." JJ says, wiping her eyes and starting to make herself a little more presentable. Shawn stands up and goes to the door. JJ can hear Shawn saying something, but can't make out the words. Then Shawn quickly makes his way back besides JJ.

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**Sorry this took a little longer than I wanted to get up. Just in case those of you who know about my mom, she's fine. So hopefully that means I'll be able to get back to the story full force. I have always wanted you all to read and review. Now please tell me what you think of the story so far. I have a few more chapters already typed, but I want and need to know what you all think before I can continue to go. I don't want to get in the wrong direction and disappoint any of my favorite readers. Thanks to you all for reading and reviewing.**


	26. Chapter 26

Her Past Catches Up With Her

_I don't own Criminal Minds or Higher Ground._

Chapter 26

Peter was the first to enter. His hand holding a smaller hand. She still can't see her behind Peter. Sophie's right behind the unseen child. Then a person JJ hadn't expected to see, Roger. They all make their way to the foot of JJ's bed.

"Jennifer, I'd like to introduce you to our daughter, Andrea. You can call her Annie." Peter says, moving to let JJ gaze upon a mini version of herself.

"Hel… loo." JJ says, staring at Annie in awe.

"Hello Ms. Jennifer. Sorry, but I don't know your last name." Annie says, very intelligently.

"You can call me JJ. My last name's Jearau. But everyone calls me JJ." JJ says, she can't take her eyes off Annie.

"You look a lot like that girl… Shelby. Mom and Dad talk about her all the time. Is she your sister?" Annie asks, innocently.

"No dear. Shelby was me. I had to change my name and I could never talk to your mom and dad again." JJ says, holding back tears.

"I'm sorry to hear that. They missed you so much. When I make them mad, they sometimes yell 'Shelby' at me. So you must have really been trouble then." Annie says, giggling. JJ notices that the giggle sounds almost like a mixture of hers and Jess'. JJ can't hold the tears back any longer. Shawn holds her.

"It's ok." Shawn whispers into her ear.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to lose it like that. It's just been a bumpy couple of days. I sure would love to talk to you more Annie. Maybe if I get out of here soon, we can spend a little time together. I have a mess of stories I can tell you about your mom and dad." JJ says, smiling again.

"I'd like that." Annie says.

"I'm sorry. I'm so rude. This is Shawn Michaels. He's a friend and a co-worker." JJ says, squeezing his hand.

"Hello Mr. Michaels." Annie says, nodding a hello.

"Hello, you can call my Shawn." Shawn says, smiling. The room falls into silence. JJ looks over to Roger.

"Hey Roger! You still look the same. But it's great to see you again." JJ says, as he steps over and hugs JJ.

"It's really good to see you too. Never had to worry about you running." Roger says, smiling.

"I hope you all stay around long enough for me to get out of here and we can spend some time together. But I'm burning out fast. I'll call and let you all know when I'm coming to the hotel. It was nice to meet you Annie. Great to see you again, Rog." JJ says with a little giggle.

"Same here Shel, sorry JJ." Roger says, getting an uncomfortable look on his face.

"Call you later. Drive safely. Say hey to the other cliffhangers." JJ says as the four people leave. As soon as the door closes, JJ lets out a deep breath that she didn't know she was holding.

"JJ, what are you thinking?" Shawn asks, standing next to the bed and rubbing her back comforting.

"Just that she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I hope I did the right thing. She looks healthy and happy. I don't think I want her to know who I am. At least not yet. She seems so content with life. I don't know if I can answer all the questions she might have. Hell, I don't know if I have all the answers to my questions." JJ says, leaning her hear against Shawn.

"It's ok, JJ. We don't have to figure this all out right now. Why don't you lay back and get some rest. The doc should be I soon." Shawn says, still holding the woman he seemed to be falling deeper into love with.

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**Sorry this chapter's so short. I just couldn't decide where I should break it up for the chapter. I'm still a little spacey. So please bear with me for a little while longer. Thanks for the reviews. Please keep reading and reviewing. It means a whole lot to me.**


	27. Chapter 27

Her Past Catches Up With Her

_I don't own Criminal Minds, Higher Ground or Crossing Jordan._

Chapter 27

A month and a half later, all the funerals, reports and cases have past, everything seemed to be getting back to normal. Or as normal as possible. JJ was almost completely healed from the bruises and stab wound. She was going to a counselor once a week. When she first got home, it was three times a week. Then down to two times a week. The counselor thought she was doing so well that once a week seemed to do the trick.

JJ and Shawn began seeing each other. But Shawn still has yet to tell JJ his true heartfelt feelings. They make a point to go out twice on weeknights and spend the weekend together. As long as neither of them had a case. Which had seen slow the last few weeks. But no one was complaining.

JJ was having a hard tie at her house. It was hard to know that Josh and Walt had been there touching her things. It made her sick to her stomach to think about Martha's last breath. In fact, being around either house was literally making her sick. But she didn't want to sell the houses. She had some wonderful memories of her and Martha in both houses. So she would spend ninety percent of her alone time in her office. Sure, she was ok in her house when Shawn stayed over. It was more of an alone thing. She loved going over to his apartment. They would switch places every other weekend.

Sure, they've kissed a LOT. Maybe a stray feel here or there, but they'd never had sex. Shawn never asked and JJ never asked. They both felt they were getting to know each other. She'd caught him starring one time, at her. She could see something that made her believe in anyone. She could see the possibility of her dream to come true. The one dream she had back in Boston. And the same dream she's been having almost every night since then. Sure, she had the stray nightmare and sometimes the lovely dream would turn into a nightmare.

The funerals were particular hard on JJ. Putting her baby sister in the ground and the lady that had been Mother, Sister and friend in the ground as well. It's taken it's toll on her. It was almost to much for JJ to see Alice, her biological mother again after so many years. To deal with Alice's dramatic scene at Jess' funeral had actually got her a nice shot of sedative. That was one of the hospital doctor's conditions if she was to be discharged.

JJ had made a promise to go back to Michigan for a longer and happier visit in a couple of months when she had vacation time coming. She really wanted to spend a little more time visiting her sister newer life. Get to know who her sister had become. As well as getting to know her new nephew and brother-in-law.

Everyone could see JJ was still dragging from the physical and emotional trauma of what went down. Hotch knew more than anyone else. The medical examiner had decided to keep the double rape of JJ a little secret. Nigel as well. Everyone thought that JJ was seeing the counselor for the loss of her sister and Martha. She just never gave them the drawn out explanation. She figured it was bad enough for Hotch to know. Besides, she didn't remember the rapes anyway. So it was almost like they never happened.

She had made arrangements with Sophie and Peter about coming out once a month on the weekend to visit. Sporadically seeing all her old friends. They have all made a pact to call each other once a week. JJ was feeling so loved and so supported by all her new and old friends. Plus, JJ's been seeing Daisy more often. Reid and Daisy had started dating. Daisy was actually considering moving her practice and herself to Virginia. Daisy was all alone, except for the random trips to visit her Horizon family. After he fiancé passed, she didn't socialize with their friends anymore. So it made the best sense. JJ was thrilled.

Hotch and Emily had come out in the open about their relationship. Not much of a shock to the BAU team. Not a good reaction from Erin Strauss, section director. But Hotch had a document that could have Strauss booted from the FBI completely. So, she had to give her blessings. It was unlike Aaron Hotchner to use ANY type of blackmail, but he really loved one Emily Prentiss. He was determined to get what he wanted.

The team had only gone on two cases since JJ had been released to come back to work. The first one was a serial killer. A raging son, killing disabled parents that the adult children were taking care of. This guy was all over Florida's east coast.

The second one that they'd just come back from was a kidnapping of two sets of twin teen girls. The middle aged man would rape one while making the other watch and visa versa. Then, when he got tired of the first set, he took the second set. Did the same. Luckily he didn't kill any of them. But those young ladies had wished he had.

It had brought up some feelings of her and Jess. But she felt she handled the feelings like a pro. That was until the first night they got back. Every time she would close her eyes, she'd see a dead Jess and hear the muffled arguing Of Josh and Walt. That was the first time JJ started to get little memories of going into that house. Sure, in the eyes of the law, Walt was murdered by Josh and in turn, Josh was killed in self defense. But JJ still has yet to fully gain her memory of what really happened.

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Late evening, at JJ's house, Shawn and JJ were sitting on her sofa, wine glasses in hand. Shawn sitting back against the arm of the sofa, holding him up. JJ was nestled between Shawn's legs, back leaning against his chest and stomach. There was a nice warm, crackling fire going in her fireplace. Shawn had his free arm draped over JJ's midsection. Her free arm atop his. She's felt so safe and comfortable like this. She loved to listening to Shawn breathe and his heartbeat. JJ was so relaxed. More then she had been in a long time. Out of the blue, Shawn speaks. This startles a relaxed JJ.

"JJ, why don't we put the wine glasses down. Just in case we happen to fall asleep." Shawn says, pushing JJ forward and taking her wine glass. He sets them on the coffee table in front of them. Then he leans back, bring JJ back with him. He wraps both arms around JJ. She brings her arms up and places them on his to rest. They both fell asleep. JJ could tell he was drifting into a deep sleep by the slow, long breaths he was taking. So she felt it was safe to drift off herself.

They had both had a long week. He had just returned from being on a case. He always seemed to cuddle and was a little more protective of her after his cases. But she didn't mind. JJ started to hear something. It sounded like someone was trying to jimmy the lock to the front door. She sits up and turns to wake Shawn. She couldn't get him to wake up. So she gets up off the couch and goes to the safety drawer to open all the way. That's when she hears the front door gives way. JJ's heart begins to race. Before she can even make a defensive move, the intruder, who's face's hidden by a black ski mask, comes at her. He's on top of her, holding her arms down. She tries to get away, but the more she fights, the more he holds her. She screams, "Shawn! Shawn, help!" But he doesn't even stir. Then from no where she hears glass break. Her and the intruder turns to look, but JJ quickly turns her attention back to the intruder and rips his mask off to reveal the intruder as Josh. JJ just screams.

Next thing JJ knows, she's being shaken awake. When her eyes open, she sees a worried Shawn looking over at JJ. "Shawn, what's going on?" JJ asks, confused.

"JJ, you were having a nightmare. Baby, this one was so bad. You knocked the wine glasses over. Your cut your wrist. You might need stitches. We need to get you to the hospital. Hold this on your wrist. I'm going to get your shoes and our coats." Shawn gets up and quickly rushes to get shoes and coats. JJ's still confused and shaking. She moves the towel to get a better look at how bad the cut was. When she sees the blood rushing out of her body, JJ starts to feel the life force drain from her face. Before she passes out, she sees Shawn approach her and then everything goes black.

Shawn freaks out. He'd put his coat on as he was getting back to JJ. When he sees her pass out, Shawn decides it's too urgent to take the time to put on her shoes and coat. So he picks JJ up into his arms. She's lighter than he thought. He grabs the shoes in the hand that's holding her back. He throws the coat over her chest area to give her some cover fro the cool night. He rushes her out to his car, puts her in the passenger seat, buckles her in and then rushes to get into the drives side of the car.

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About ten to fifteen minutes later, Shawn pulls up to the ER entrance. JJ had come to and then seen the blood and passed out. Shawn believes it's more due to blood loss then actually seeing the blood.

He quickly runs her into the ER and yells for help. "Sir, take her in there." The nurse points to the closet, empty exam rooms. When Shawn gently lays JJ down an the gurney, she moans a little and moves her head a bit too.

"JJ, we're at the hospital. You're going to be ok. I'm right here sweetheart. We'll get you fixed right up and get home. We'll sit in front of the fire and we'll just relax." Shawn stops what he's saying as soon as the nurse and doctor come in.

"Ok, now what happened here?" The older doctor asks.

"She accidentally got cut by a broken wine glass. I wrapped it and put pressure on it but it wasn't stopping. I got her here as fast as I could." Shawn says, worried about JJ.

"Ok, nurse, we need to order an IV push, a suture and get some blood work. I want all standard blood tests. Let's check blood alcohol too. Let's get a blood IV going too. I'll come back and check on her soon. Good job getting her in here sir." The older doctor pats Shawn on the back and exit's the room. The nurse's getting everything around. Before she leaves, another lady comes in with all the IV and blood drawing kits.

"Hello sir. Wow, what happened here?" She asks, removing the towel enough to look at the cut. But she goes to the non-hurt arm and gets the IV started and gets the blood first, then sets the IV drip.

"She accidentally cut herself on a broken wine glass. Does it really look that bad?" Shawn asks, worried.

"Hi, my name's Abby. Well it looks like it's slowing down a lot. So I think she'll be fine. Is she your sister?" Abby asks.

"No, she's my girlfriend." When it came out of Shawn's mouth, it sounded and feels right. He smiles at this declaration.

"Hey you. What's going on?" JJ asks, squinting into the light.

"Hey baby. Do you remember? You broke the wine glass and cut yourself. But it's ok. They're going to sew you up and send you on your way. We can relax in front of the fire place. How's that sound?" Shawn says, grabbing hold of her hand that has the well taped IV in it.

"That sounds heavenly. I'm sure stitches aren't necessary. I just want to go home." JJ says, swinging her legs over the edge of the gurney. Before she can stand, Shawn and Abby stop her.

"Hey! Stop this right now!" Shawn says, firmly.

"Shawn, I've seen these places too much in the last two months! Please, get me out of here." JJ says, fear in her face.

"Sweetheart, we need to get you stitched up and make sure you didn't hit anything vital. As soon as I can, I'll get you out of here. Do you want me to call anyone? Garcia? Prentiss?" Shawn asks.

"Pen, please. She'll kick my ass if she knew I was here and didn't call her. Can you get me some water too please?" JJ asks.

"We have to ask the doctor first." Abby pipes in.

"I'll ask when I call Pen. I'll be right back." Shawn says, and slips out of the exam room.

"You sure are lucky to have him." Abby says.

"Yes I am. How long will this take? I REALLY hate hospitals." JJ says, jumpy.

"I'll take these back and the doctor will come in to stitch you up. You need to be more careful with the wine glasses." Abby says.

"I know. Thanks for the reminder." JJ says, annoyed by the lady's obvious statement. Abby leaves and JJ sits there alone. It reminds her of the day she gave birth to Annie.

After they took the sweet little bundle of joy, she was totally and completely alone. At least when she had Annie inside her, growing, JJ wasn't alone. Sure she felt alone, support wise, but it was Annie and her against the world. She remembers the mixed feelings. One minute, loving being pregnant. The next, cursing being pregnant. She loved the energy she had. The joy she felt. But she hated it because she knew that the baby was not created in love. That the baby couldn't stay with her. That she would have to go through horrible pain to bring her into the world, then have nothing to show for it.

JJ's thoughts are interrupted by Shawn coming back into the room. Shawn could tell that JJ's mind was spinning. "JJ, what's wrong?" Shawn stands next to JJ and holds her hand while waiting for a response.

"I was just thinking. Nothing important. What did Pen and the doctor say?" JJ asks, giving a fake smile.

"She wanted to come right over. But I told her to wait. I thought maybe she could come over tomorrow to check on you. Did I do the right thing?" Shawn asks, unsure.

"Yes you did. You did very good honey. What did the doc say?" JJ asks.

"I couldn't find him. The nurse said to wait for him." Shawn says, feeling a bit sorry for JJ.

"Now only if that damn doctor would get in here and sew me up. We could get out of here. I can get a drank at home." JJ says, fidgeting uncomfortably.

"Sweetheart, do you want to tell me about the dream you were having?" Shawn asks, sadly.

"No Shawn, I don't want to talk about my dream. I'm sorry, I know it makes YOU feel useful. I didn't like the dream the first time, why would I want to relive it again by telling you? So you can have those images in your head too?" JJ says, in tears.

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to help. I didn't mean to make you upset." Shawn says, pulling her into a hug. Just then, there's a knock at the door. Then the doctor comes in.

"Are you ready to get that stitched up and be on your way?" The doctor asks, getting ready to clean and sew JJ's wrist up.

"Yes. Let's get this done and over with." JJ says, eagerly.

While the doctor numbs the site and sews her up, JJ just looks at Shawn. A few stitches later, the doctor dresses the wound with some gauze and tape. "Now, you'll need to see your regular family doctor to have the stitches taken out. We're going to let you leave, but the blood we took isn't even going to be tested until later tonight, early morning. We will call with any results. I don't want to keep you here when the lab's backed up. So in a few minutes the nurse will come in with discharge papers and prescriptions. Take care young lady. I'll talk to you soon." The doctor says, removing his gloves and washing his hands. Then he leaves.

"Just a little longer and e can go home. I know you don't like hospitals, but I couldn't get the bleeding to slow down. You needed stitches. I've seen enough women with cuts to know it would need stitches." Shawn says, bending down and kissing JJ's forehead.

"I know babe. I'm sorry I've been acting like a spoiled little brat. It's just lately I feel so not in control of my body, life, mind and I hate not having SOME control over something." JJ says, leaning her head down to reduce Shawn's view of JJ's pouting face.

"I know sweetheart. I'm trying to help you get some control and normalcy back in your life. Do you have any ideas that I can do to help in the quest to get more control? I'm not hindering you in any way am I?" Shawn asks, sad at the thought that he could be hurting her more then helping her. JJ looks up in shock.

"NO! Shawn, if anything you have helped me get what control and normalcy I have now. Please, don't ever feel like you are not helping me. You know that your arms have the magic power to make me feel so safe and so comfortable." JJ says, grabbing the closest hand of his and bringing it to her lips and kisses it gently. She closes her eyes and she gently presses her lips to his tender, masculine hand. Shawn cups JJ's cheek with the other hand. Just then, there's a knock at the door. The nurse comes n and gives her the talk of how to care for her wound, what prescriptions she's getting and what it's for. Then last, but not lease, call or come in if something seems wrong. JJ signs the papers and the nurse removes the IV. Then JJ's on her way with Shawn's help.

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**AN/ Sorry if the topics kind of get jumbled. I would like to hear what you think. I kind of did this one in a hurry, but please bear with me on any spelling errors and missed ' in, to, the' and so forth. I was hoping to start to get back to another story and try to do two at once and then maybe if I can do it, try all three. We'll have to see and it would help with the encouraging words of the reviews and/or PMs from my loyal and wonderful fans. Thanks again.**


	28. Chapter 28

Her Past Catches Up With her

_I don't own Criminal Minds and Higher Ground._

Chapter 28

On the lengthy ride home, Shawn breaks the silence. "JJ, would you do me a favor?"

"Depends on what it is." JJ answers honestly.

"Will you tell me what your nightmare was about?" Shawn asks, almost in a whisper.

"Why Shawn?" JJ asks, annoyed.

"Because, you just said that you felt safe and comfortable in my arms, but yet this nightmare was so bad that you were fighting against me. If the nightmares are that bad, maybe you should go back to seeing your counselor twice a week. It seems as if I'm not helping you anymore. And before you jump to conclusions, I'm not saying we should stop seeing each other. I just mean that once a week for counseling and me just aren't cutting it. I'm sorry if this statement hurts you, but I have your best interest at heart." Shawn says, feeling bad that he wasn't enough to help her anymore.

"Fine! I give up! I was dreaming that we fell asleep. Just like we had. Then I heard something. I tried to wake you with no luck. I thought it was an intruder. So I tried to get my gun out of the safety drawer. It was stuck. Before I knew it, the intruder had me pinned on the floor. I was able to finally get his mask off and it was Josh!" JJ says, near tears and visibly upset.

"It was Josh. Not Walt?" Shawn asks, sounding like his work tone of voice.

"It was Josh, not Walt. I don't know why. But it still makes my skin crawl at the thought. It's even making me a bit sick to my stomach." JJ says, putting a hand on her stomach. "Shawn, seriously. Pull over. I have to throw up!" JJ says, trying to keep control of her gag reflex. Shawn quickly pulls over to the side of the road. Before the car's even at rest, JJ's door's open and she flies out the door and releases the regurgitation. Shawn puts the car in park and quickly rushes to aide JJ. He holds her hair back and rubs a soothing hand on her back.

After a few minutes and no more throw up feeling, JJ wipes her mouth and leans a very tired body against Shawn's for support. "Do you think your done? Do you think you can make it back to your place?" Shawn says, looking into JJ's eyes with concern.

"I think so. I really would like some ginger ale. Lately it's the only thing that calms my stomach when it's upset. Maybe a nice soak in the tub." JJ says, slowly climbing back into Shawn's car with his help. Shawn was getting a feeling that something else was going on with JJ. He's thinking it's an ulcer. All the stress and trauma causing her stomach discomfort. He thinks the blood tests might be able to catch the problem.

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Once they get home, JJ heads for her bathroom that joins to her bedroom. She grabs a couple antacid tablets and starts her hot, relaxing bath. She gets her bath things around, then comes out quickly to check on Shawn. Also to get her ginger ale. When she gets to the living room, she sees Shawn cleaning up the broken glass and wiping up her dried blood off the table, carpeting and couch. This leaves JJ feeling worse. She should be the one cleaning up after herself.

"Shawn, let me do that." JJ says, walking over to the wine glass and blood spots.

"NO!" Shawn yells quickly and holds a hand up to stop her from getting closer. "I don't want you to risk further injury." Shawn says, then smiles. Shawn was trying to lighten the mood a little, thinking that it might help her ulcer.

"Shawn, why are you so good to me?" JJ asks, out of the blue.

"Why shouldn't I?" Shawn says, looking back at JJ seriously wondering why she thinks so little of herself.

"Because I first of all dragged you into my life's worth of problems. Then cause you nothing but pain." JJ just stands there waiting for a response. Shawn stands there trying to come up with the best answer. Once he gets it, he walks over to stand in front of JJ. Then takes her head in between his hands and pulls her into a very passionate kiss. JJ places her hands on top of his and lets out a few tiny moans. Shawn pulls away. JJ hadn't even opened her eyes and Shawn starts to explain.

"Jennifer Jearau, since the moment I've laid my eyes on your very attractive face and body, I've been falling in love with you. Every time your beautiful blue eyes look into my general direction, I fall a little more. You are beautiful, smart, funny, determined, **STUBBORN** and everything that I can ask for in a woman that I want to be with. I still have yet to figure out why you think you're so awful. I ach when you're not near me. I would follow you anywhere as long as I was with you. Don't ever question my feelings for you. All you'll get is a LONG lecture on the wonderfulness the is one Jennifer Jearau." Shawn says, and pulls her into a hug.

"You really care about me?" JJ asks, shocked.

"JJ, I love you! You silly woman! Now, go take your bath. I'll set your ginger ale on your nightstand next to your bed. Now go, so I can get this cleaned up and bring you your ginger ale before you get out of the tub." Shawn says, gently but firmly pushing JJ into her bedroom.

"I love you too Shawn." JJ says, and then disappears into her room. Shawn was shocked to hear her say 'I love you' in response to his confession. That wasn't how he wanted to tell her, but he knew she needed to hear that she was desired. Not sexually, but on a deeper level. Sure, he was attracted to her sexually, but he cared so deeply that he'd wait for her to be ready, even if it meant never having sex again. She was well past worth it.

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In her tub, soaking, JJ keeps replaying Shawn's words. She felt a weird warm feeling in her stomach. She thought that it must be what love feels like. She's being careful not to get her wrist wet. The nice hot water lulled JJ into a nice relaxed state. Before she knows it, she hears Shawn outside the bathroom door. Then he knocks on the closed door.

"JJ, sweetheart, are you ok in there? It's been over an hour." Shawn says and waits to get a response.

"I'm fine babe. I'll be out in a few minutes." JJ yells back to the door to make sure Shawn heard her through the door.

"Ok. If you need me, I'll be in the living room." Shawn says and leaves the bedroom. JJ leans over to unplug the tub and stands up reaching for her towel. Drying off and getting dressed, JJ opens the bathroom door to find a PLASTIC cup of ginger ale with a straw on the right side of her bed. JJ smiles and goes to grab her yummy drank. This drank tastes the best to JJ. She's never tasted such good ginger ale. She thinks it has to deal with it being from Shawn. JJ takes her drink and walks back out to the living room. Shawn's sitting on the sofa, reading a medical book.

"What ARE you reading?" JJ asks, grinning.

"I was thinking that you might have an ulcer. So I was reading up on the symptoms and what's good and NOT good for ulcers. I'm afraid after that glass, not more ginger ale. At least until it's confirmed or denied that it's an ulcer. A lot of Mylanta." Shawn says with determination.

"So, when did you go to medical school Doctor Michaels?" JJ asks, teasingly.

"Well, I know all the stress you're been under. All the symptoms fit. My mother had one. She was acting like you. Sorry if I over stepped." Shawn says, closing the book and placing it on the table in front of him. JJ took this as a good sign to go sit with him. She noticed all the blood and glass was picked up. But she and Shawn never went around barefoot. This bringing the point to view.

"No Shawn, you didn't over step. Thank you for caring so much about me." JJ sits next to him and sets the cup down next to the book. She looks at Shawn. They just stare at each other for a few seconds. "Shawn, I'm so lucky that you came into my life." JJ gets closer and leans into kiss him. JJ's hands cup his cheeks for a brief moment, then move behind his head so she could pull him closer and deeper into the kiss.

Not long after the kiss deepened, JJ's house phone rings. JJ was going to let the machine get it. She figured work related calls go to her cell phone. But it was Shawn that reminded her about the hospital and the lab tests. So she answers it. "Hello, Jearau residence."

"May I speak with Ms. Jennifer Jearau?" A deep voiced man asks.

"This is." JJ says, getting a knot in her stomach.

"Ms. Jearau, this is Doctor Goldman. From the ER earlier."

"Yes doctor, I remember who you are. Please, get to the test results. Do I have an ulcer as thought by my friend who was with me?" JJ asks, hoping it was something simple.

"Well Ms. Jearau, your blood work shows you're a little anemic. But other than that, you and the baby are healthy." The doctor says.

"WHAT!" JJ yells, and starts shaking. She's trying to get this to sink into her head. Shawn stands up and goes over to JJ. He places a steady hand on her back to let her know, whatever it was, she wasn't alone.

"Didn't you know that you were pregnant Ms. Jearau?" The doctor asks, absent mindedly.

"NO! I… Thank you doctor." JJ says and hangs up. She didn't want to lose her temper with the old man. She also didn't want Shawn to take the phone out of her hand and find out that way.

"JJ, what is it baby?" Shawn asks, thinking the absolute worst. JJ hadn't told him about the recent rapes. Now she would have to tell Shawn.

"Oh, I need to sit down. Maybe use the bathroom first!" JJ took off to the bathroom, holding a hand over her mouth. Shawn rushes after her.

"JJ, honey. Stay calm." Shawn says, catching up with her and holding her hair, rubbing her back softly. When she felt the sickness pass, she rinses her mouth out, wipes her mouth and walks into her bedroom. She sits down on the edge of her bed with Shawn following her actions.

"Shawn, we have to have a talk. It's not going to be a pleasant talk either." JJ says, scooting herself back until her back was against the head board. She pats the empty mattress next to her to get Shawn to join her. Which he does. "This is hard for me to say. I need to go at my own pace. So please, just listen.

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**I hope you liked this shocker. I hope that it's not so unbelievable. I also hope you like the relationship bewteen JJ and Shawn. It's only going to get better from here. But there maybe a few twists along the way. As always, please read and review. I want to thank the few loyal reads and reviewer. But I'm feeling I'm not getting the reviews that I had been before. So I might slow down a little more. I do hope you all understand. If you would like me to keep going and at a faster pace, please make sure you review. Thank you so much.**


	29. Chapter 29

Her Past Catches Up With Her

_I don't own Criminal Minds._

Chapter 29

"Ok Jennifer, I'm listening." Shawn says, putting a hand on hers. JJ can't look at him, so she finds a object to concentrate on over by the TV set.

"That night that I was in that house alone with Walt and Josh, something happened. I still don't remember. Or at least I don't think I do. When I was taken to the ER after you all came in to get me, they ran a rape kit. It came back positive. I soon learned that Walt **AND** Josh both raped me." JJ's crying at this point. Shawn squeezes JJ's hands. "The M.E had said that Walt was sterile. But he raped Jess before he killed her. After I was drugged, Walt must have raped me. Josh must have caught him and killed him. Then Josh raped me and I must have killed him. They believe he was raping me when I stabbed him. Hotch knew it would be too hard for me to work with everyone if they knew. I actually asked to have it kept quiet. I don't remember either rape, so why have people treat me like a China doll?" JJ sits in silence. Totally forgetting to tell Shawn WHY she had to tell his this.

"Jennifer." Shawn says and shrugs his shoulders.

"Oh! Sorry. I'm anemic and pregnant." JJ says, like it was nothing.

"Oh baby. I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me about the rapes? I do work in the sex crimes unit. Sure I'm angry that they hurt you in that manner, again. But I can handle it. That would explain the nightmares." Shawn says, and then pulls her into a hug.

"I'm sorry Shawn. God, not again!" JJ says, sobbing. She has no idea what else to do.

"Shh! It's going to be ok. Whatever you choose to do, you're not alone. Not this time." Shawn says, squeezing JJ a little tighter to make his point.

"I don't know what to do. I can't hide it this time. Before I was in a small house alone. Just Agent McEnroe knew. But now I have a public type job. The team's going to know. I don't think I could terminate any pregnancy. Why! Why again?" JJ asks, shaking.

"We don't have to come up with the answers now. Come on, lay down and rest. I won't leave you." Shawn says, helping JJ pull back the blankets while she slips her legs between the blankets and mattress. Once JJ's completely under the blankets and starting to relax, Shawn stays on the top of the covers ad snuggles with JJ. Shawn didn't want JJ to feel like he was trying to get something that she wasn't willing to give. He just wanted her to be able to sleep without fear. Having him close was very good for JJ. No long after JJ had fallen deep into dream land, Shawn soon followed.

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Early the next morning when the phone rang, Shawn was the first to wake up. When he woke up, he noticed he was under the covers and JJ was snuggled tightly up against him. Her check pressed against Shawn's side. He was afraid to move. He knew a pregnant JJ needed her sleep. So Shawn slowly and ever so carefully slipped out from under JJ. She just turned over onto her other side and continued to sleep.

Shawn leaves the bedroom and goes to find out who called. He had a feeling it was Garcia. He checks the caller ID. He was correct so he calls her back. He didn't want one frantic Penelope Garcia coming over and upsetting JJ. The phone rings.

"JJ, why didn't you answer your phone sweet cheeks?" Pen asks, sweet yet firm.

"Garcia, it's Shawn. I couldn't make it to the phone in time. JJ needs to rest. When she's up, I'll have her call you." Shawn says, politely

"Ah, Shawn, what are you doing there this early?" Pen asks, protectively.

"I stayed the night. This weekend's her weekend. Can I give JJ a message other than you called?"

"No. I was just calling to see how she's doing. But it sounds like you're taking good care of her. If she needs anything or you for that matter, give me a call." Pen tries grasping the situation. She's now understanding that JJ may have found the man that will come through for her.

"Thanks Penelope. You are a good friend. Jennifer's lucky to have you." Shawn says, matter of fact.

"No, I'm lucky to have her."

"We both are. Thanks for calling. I'll have her call in a while. Bye Penelope."

"Call me and Pen and I'll talk to you later." Pen hangs up, as well as Shawn. As Shawn turns around, he sees a sleepy JJ come out of the bedroom. She's rubbing an eye, like infants do when sleepy. "JJ, what are you doing up? You need to go back to bed hun." Shawn walks over to her.

"I woke up and you were gone. I thought I was having another nightmare." JJ says, wrapping her arms around his midsection. Shawn wraps his arms around her.

"are you feeling ok? Do you need anything? Want some orange juice?" Shawn says, while cleaning to JJ. She had her ear laying on his chest and loved listening to him talk. It tickled her ear, making her giggle. " What baby?" Shawn asks at her giggling.

"You're tickling my ear." JJ says, giggling like a young school girl.

"Would you like something to eat or drink baby?" Shawn asks, concerned about hers and the baby's health. As Shawn mentions food, JJ quickly pulls away and runs to throw up in the bathroom. Shawn quickly follows. Yet again, holding her hair back and rubbing her back. "JJ, I'm sorry if I make you sick!" Shawn says, apologetic. JJ sits on the floor against the wall. Wiping her mouth with a hand towel, JJ closed her eyes and takes a deep breath.

"It's not you Shawn. Just the thought of food," JJ in mid-sentence gets back up on her knees and throws up. Shawn goes to get a wash cloth and gets it wet with nice cold water. He rings it out and folds it a couple times. When JJ sits back against the wall, Shawn places it on her forehead. He holds it there for a few minutes, getting a relief sigh from JJ. Then he removes it and turns it over to place it on the back of her neck. This gets another relief sigh from JJ. She leans her head over onto Shawn's chest. "Thank you Shawn. You've been so wonderful through all this mess. You always seem to know what to do. It's like you were made for me and I was made for you." JJ grabs Shawn's shirt in her hand and pulls on it a little. Shawn takes this as a sign that she wanted him to hold her. So Shawn scoops her up and places her in his lap. He cradles her in his arms, but doesn't rock her because of her upset stomach. JJ loves being in his gentle, but strong safe arms. She could always hear his heart accelerated when she was close. This always makes her heart skip a beat. She was falling deeper in love with Shawn, but she wasn't sure how things would turn out. She was scared about the whole baby thing. This nervousness was only making her morning sickness worse.

"JJ, how do you feel now? Ok, if I pick you up and take you back to bed?" Shawn asks, chin resting on the top of her head.

"Yeah. Just don't shake me too much. I need my trash can next to the bed, just in case. I almost didn't make it last time." JJ says with a sigh.

"Ok, here we go." Shawn says, picking her up and ever so gently moving her to the soft king size bed. He gently lays her down on her side of the bed. "Now, I'm getting you some OJ. Want anything else?" Shawn asks, about to walk out of the room.

"No. Just juice and you." JJ couldn't believe she just said that.

"Ok. You need to call Penelope back too. She called already." Shawn says, leaving the room. JJ froze. What was she going to say to Pen. She could always tell when JJ lied. She just sits there trying to come up with an explanation to everything. Just to be sure not to be caught off guard. Shawn walks back into the room with a big plastic cup of orange juice. He's smiling as he approaches the bed. "What's wrong baby?" Shawn's smile fades.

"I have to come up with something before I call Pen. She's going to know something's up. She can tell when I'm not telling the truth." JJ says, visibly upsetting herself.

"JJ! Calm down. You are a very talented media liaison. You always think quickly on your feet. Now, what do you think she's going to ask about. Other than me. I think I let it slip about our weekends. But I also didn't know that you didn't tell her." Shawn says.

"No. Everyone knows too much about my personal business. I wanted something just mine." JJ says, then takes a big gulp of the orange juice.

"JJ, maybe we should tell everyone that we're seeing each other. I know we just told each other that we love each other, but maybe they'll be happy for you and back off." Shawn says, sitting next to JJ and then takes a comforting hand to rub her back.

"Well, maybe they wouldn't hover so much. I really could use some breathing room. Especially if this morning sickness kicks my butt. They are considered the best profilers for a reason. I still don't know what's going to happen with the baby. This time there's no fear Josh will find me or the baby. I just hope I can love this baby. I fell in love with Annie while she grew in me. It just kills me to know that this is my second child and it's not one I created with my husband or even a boyfriend." JJ just stares at the lamp on the other side of the room.

"JJ, this will all work out. It might not feel like it right now, but it will. If you feel comfortable enough, just tell people that the baby's mine. I'm not letting you go through this alone. So people will not suspect." Shawn says, holding JJ's only free hand.

"Shawn, I can't let you do that. It's not fair to you. Thank you so much for offering to do that. I'll come up with something. No one has to know right now. I mean we just found out." JJ say, babbling.

"So call pen and tell her you're fine. But you're spending the entire weekend with your new love. Then tell her you'll see her Monday and not a minute before." Shawn says, smugly and pretty confident in himself.

"So, you think you're going to get lucky Agent Michaels?" JJ asks, seriously. But just for a second. Not before she lets Shawn stumble over himself to explain.

"Oh, no. I didn't mean it like that." Shawn says, blushing.

"Shawn, I'm kidding. Don't worry. Let me call Pen and then you and I have to have a long conversation." JJ says, dials Pen's number and listens while the phone rings.

"JJ, how you feeling?" Pen answers without a hello or hi.

"I'm fine Pen. Just a few stitches. You know those stupid accidents. In a couple days, the stitches come out and I'm good as new." JJ says, trying not to waver.

"Why do you sound weird?" Pen asks, like an emotional blood hound.

"I'm just tired. And it sounds like I'm busy the rest of the weekend. Don't tell anyone, but Shawn and I are officially dating. He's got a few plans for this weekend. So if anything dire happens, I'll call. Other than that, I'll talk to you on Monday. Ok?" JJ says, not knowing how Pen will react.

"About time you guys start to official date. He was soiling your good reputation." Pen says, coming to JJ's honorary defense.

"Wow! I wasn't expecting that. But just don't tell anyone. I want to tell them. So I'll talk to you on Monday." JJ says, waiting for the original Pen banter.

"Ok sweet cheeks. Call if you need me." Pen says and hangs up. JJ hangs up in shock.

"So what'd she say?" Shawn asks, a shocked JJ.

"Nothing. That's weird. I wonder if something wrong with Pen." JJ says, wondering.

"Maybe she's 'hooking up' with someone and knows that you're in capable hands." Shawn says and rubs her back in a comforting gesture. JJ takes in what Shawn had stated and thought that sounded believable.

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**Thanks for the reviews. Sorry that I didn't get this up yesterday. I had planned to, but you know how life sneaks up on you. I hope you all liked it and hope you continue to read and review. I think that this story might be coming to an end. But I might make it into a sequel. I would like to know what you all think. Please review and/or PM me and tell me what you would like me to do. Thanks again.**


	30. Chapter 30

Her Past Catches Up With Her

_I don't own Criminal Minds._

Chapter 30

JJ and Shawn sit with their back up against the headboard of JJ's king size bed. Shawn's holding JJ's hand, laced fingers and his other hand comes to cup her hand. So her hand is completely covered by Shawn's hands.

"JJ, I wish you'd seriously consider telling people I'm the father. Just think about it. You don't have to answer right now. Just tell me you'll consider it." Shawn says, waiting for JJ to agree to think it over.

"I'll think it over." JJ says, smiling at the reaction she got out of Shawn over the small words.

"Great! Now, next order of business. It was momentarily brought up, **SEX**. I love you Jennifer Jearau. I will not do anything to push you into something you don't want to do. You seemed to be ok with kissing. With me holding you. But I will never try to do anything. You just tell me if or when you feel comfortable. I'll wait till the ends of the Earth for you JJ. I will always be here for you. And hopefully this baby too." Shawn says, moving one hand and placing it ever so softly on JJ's still very flat stomach. This makes JJ smile and she places her other hand on top of his that's on her stomach.

"Thank you Shawn. I love you too. I told you I don't remember the damn rapes! So why would I need to wait!" JJ goes from quietly sweet to gradually angry. Shawn's taken aback by the quick, drastic change. Then he's thrown off guard when JJ turns to him and starts kissing him hard and furiously. Shawn tries to gently push her off him. But JJ grabs one of his hands and forces it onto one of her clothed breast. Shawn's just in complete shock. So he pushes her away a bit firmer. This sends her tumbling back about half way down the bed.

"JJ! What the hell was that?" Shawn asks shocked and hurt.

"I don't know! God! Shawn, I'm sorry!" JJ quickly gets up and runs to the bathroom. This time she locks the door. Then Shawn hears her vomiting. Shawn was not sure what to do. He gets up and walks over to the closed door.

"JJ, when you're done, please come out and talk to me. Honey, we need to talk about this." Shawn says, one hand lay flat on the door. Shawn hears nothing. Then seconds later he hears the lock turn, the door open and there stands a crying JJ. "Sweetheart, what was that? Were you waiting for me to hurt you? Did you think that if you tried to hurt me, that I'd hurt you back?" Shawn asks, holding his arms out for her to walk into.

"I think I was thinking that if we did it and got it over with, you wouldn't treat me like I'm made of glass. I know you love me and I love you. But **I DON'T REMEMBER** the rapes. This baby is the only proof to me that it eve happened. I want to be with you. I want to not have to worry about anything. I want to just enjoy it. We have all night to make love without interruptions. I don't want you to be disgusted by me. I want you to see past the rapes and see **ME**." JJ says, crying now. She falls into his arms and cries on his chest.

"JJ, we don't have to rush things. When we both find that it's the right time, it will happen. It's not a race. And when I look at you JJ, I don't see your rapes. I don't treat you special because you were raped. I treat you special because you are just that, special. I'm just sorry that you can't see that. See the wonderful way you comfort victims and their families. The way your mind works. How you always put others before yourself. Which will have to be altered a little now." Shawn says, hinting at the baby bundle baking in her little oven that would be her womb.

"Please, stop reminding me of this baby. I know he or she is there. The toilet knows too. With all this morning sickness, the whole world will know. I just want one last weekend of ignorant bliss before reality has to set in. Oh and can you run to the pharmacy for me. They called in prenatal vitamins. I have to start taking them ASAP. I think I'm going to lay back down. All this throwing up is tiring me out." JJ says, pulling away from Shawn and slowly walking over to the bed. Climbing in under the covers, Shawn walks over and makes sure she's covered and comfortable.

"Do you want anything else while I'm out?" Shawn asks, trying to avoid having to go back again until tomorrow.

"Yeah. Cherry chip ice cream and a cherry-chocolate milk shake." JJ says. Then she stops and remembers her dream. This sends an eerie shiver down her spine.

"Ok. JJ, are you cold?" Shawn asks, noticing the shiver and pulling the covers higher on her.

"No, just a moment of de javu." JJ says, the only differences are how far a long she was, that they aren't married and she's not on bed rest. But it's too close for her comfort.

"How do you mean?" Shawn asks, curiously.

"Just part of a dream. But it's not completely the same. Now, I'll sleep while you go run those errands." JJ says, turning over and closing her eyes. Shawn leans down and kisses her temple and leaves.

Monday rolls around too fast for the BAU team. They loves their job, but they also loves having time off to catch up on life outside of the Bureau.

JJ had already made three trips to the restroom to deal with morning sickness. She's drinking ginger ale in her coffee cup. Trying to throw off the team. As long as they didn't get to close, they'd never suspect. JJ hadn't spoke with Garcia yet. She's dreading it. But the time had come to face the only person who knew her better than herself. JJ knocks on Garcia's office door.

"Enter at your own risk!" Garcia bellows as she continues to type away on her babies.

"Hey Pen. I need you to run these two back ground checks. They aren't dire, but they need to be done today in order to get these reports done before they expire and we have to go through the whole process over again." JJ says, rambling. She knew Garcia could care less.

"Sure. Leave them there on my desk. I'll get them to you ASAP peaches." Garcia doesn't even look at JJ.

"Pen, please tell me what I did wrong." JJ says, tearing up fast.

"Why didn't you tell me that you and Shawn were an idem? I didn't like hearing it from HIM." Garcia says, feeling left out of the loop.

"Pen, it literally just happened. You were the first one to know after us. We've been hanging out a lot since Boston. He makes me feel safe. We're just great friends. Then the accident with the wine glasses and the…" JJ stops short because of the dizziness and nausea that hits her suddenly.

"JJ, are you ok? You look a little green." Pen asks, standing up to get closer to her friend in case her friend passed out.

"I…oh, trash can! Now!" JJ says, trying to hold the sick back for as long as she could.

"JJ, how long have you been sick?" Pen asks, rushing the trash can over to JJ. After JJ got sick and didn't show any sign of doing it again, she dials maintenance.

"Could I get someone up to the sixth floor to replace a trash can? Yes, someone got sick in it. Thank you so much." JJ says and hangs up. "Now, to answer your question. I think I'm having some type of reaction to the medication the ER doc gave me for this monstrosity." JJ says, holding up her wrist.

"That came on fast. For a minute there, I would've thought you were pregnant. Ha! Ha!" Pen says, laughing. JJ tries to give her very best fake laugh.

"Gees, Pen." JJ says, in response.

"Oh my god! You **ARE** pregnant!" Garcia yells in shock.

"Pen, keep your voice down! Why would you think I was pregnant? Just because I got sick doesn't automatically mean I'm pregnant! I told you that it's the medication! I came in here to find out what I did wrong. Then I try to apologize to you. You're throwing around absurd ideas. Sorry, but I have work to do." JJ says angry and leaves. But instead of heading to her office she heads to the restroom to rinse her mouth out.

As JJ walks out of the ladies room, she bumps into someone. "Oh, sorry." JJ says, looking up to see whom she collided with. It was the unit chief.

"JJ, sorry. Are you ok?" Hotch asks politely.

"Fine. Sorry, I didn't mean to come barreling out of the restroom. I'll watch where I walk a little better. Excuse me." JJ takes a few steps around him to head back to her office.

"JJ, wait," Hotch stops her. She turns around and takes a few steps back toward him. "JJ, could you meet me in my office in," He looks at his watch, then back at JJ and continues, " half an hour. When need to talk." Hotch says, watching JJ's body language. Just to see if he could tell if something was wrong.

"Sure, I have to make a few calls to make. I'll come by right after. Was there a case file I should bring?" JJ stares at him, waiting to get an answer.

"No. Just be there. Thanks." Hotch walks away. JJ wait's a few seconds, then heads back to her office.

After JJ finishes her two work related calls and fills out a few pieces of paper work that she needs Hotch's signature on, she heads to his office only two doors down. She knocks on the door and waits for an answer.

"Come in!" Hotch firmly states.

"Hotch, I need these signed and then what did you want to talk about?" JJ asks. Hotch takes the papers that JJ had reached to give him. He quickly signs them and hands them back.

"Please, sit." Hotch says, sounding more like an order then suggestion.

"What is it Hotch?" JJ's nervous.

"I'd like to know how things are going in therapy. Are things getting better?" Hotch, again watches for tell tale signs of lying.

"They're going fine. Not really a lot to tell. Not as many nightmares. When I do, they get out of hand at times." JJ holds up her wrist.

"What happened there?" Hotch's face gets even more serious.

"Just a nightmare that got a little physical and I knocked over a wine glass and cut my wrist. A few stitches later, I'm almost good as new. I think I might be having a bad reaction to the meds they gave me. I've been throwing up a lot. So if Pen says anything, it's just her being worried." JJ says, trying to get to Hotch before Pen can plant the 'pregnant' idea into his head. JJ knows that Hotch would figure it out much faster that way.

"Why? What's Garcia thinking the problem is?" Hotch's eager to hear this one. He thinks Garcia's mind is a little on the weird side.

"I can't remember. She just gave me a hard time. I kind of got sick in her trash can in her office. It came on quickly. So she's blowing it up worse than it is. With the pain, meds and stress, she's just a little over protective of me. My little momma hen. You know how she is." JJ rambles and Hotch caught a tell tale sign of lying. He didn't know exactly what she's lying about, but when she failed to keep eye contact, he knew.

"Hmm, that's interesting. When you were hurt, did you drive yourself to the hospital? I would think with something as deep as needing stitches, you wouldn't be driving." Hotch waits for an answer, suspiciously.

"No, I didn't. Agent Michaels was over and he drove me." JJ leaves it there. She doesn't want to offer more info than is needed.

"Oh. I wasn't aware of your friendship with Agent Michaels. How long have you two been spending time together?"

"Since we came back from Boston. Is that a problem? I thought we were able to socialize because we weren't on the same team." JJ pedals fast to cover her tracks.

"No problems with Bureau rules. But do you and your therapist think it's a good idea?" Hotch curious about JJ's mental well being.

"Excuse me Hotch. With all due respect, that's more about my personal life. I know that you're worried about me. Not just as media liaison, but as a friend. But I do deserve the respect to have my personal space. You know something about me that only Shawn, Agent Michaels knows too. I don't let him push me mentally, emotional and I won't let you either. I' a big girl. I can take care of myself. I know you and the team are having a hard time completely trusting me because of the lies I HAD to tell. But I thought we could get past this. I don't know **EVERYTHING** about your personal life. Last time I checked I was able to decide what was best for me." JJ stops for a moment. A small wave of nausea was washing over her. She places a hand on her. She places a hand on her stomach and an arm protectively over her mouth. Hotch stands up and grabs his trash can. He rushes around his desk. Holding out his trash can.

"Here. Are you ok?" Hotch asks, like a concerned father. The wave passes and JJ sighs with relief.

"I think I'm fine. Thanks thought. I need to get back to my office. I have my ginger ale and a little bucket there. Just please believe me Hotch. I'm doing good. Me being with Agent Michaels only helps. He takes excellent care of me when I need it. Like you and Agent Prentiss." JJ smiles at his face turning a little shade of red.

"Ok, but I will be checking on you and Agent Michaels. I think you should tell him to be good to you or he has to deal with the entire BAU team." Hotch threatens like a papa bear.

"I'll be sure to tell him sir." JJ says as giggles escape her voice. JJ leaves the office and heads back to hers. Once there, she dials Shawn's extension.

"Michaels."

"Hello, sexy Agent Michaels. I just wanted to tell you that you and I are public. Garcia's now on official gossip notice. And I just had an interesting talk with my Unit Chief. He told me to tell you that if you do anything to hurt me, you get the whole BAU team's wrath. I hope that this nice little nugget of truth doesn't scare you." JJ tries to hold back the laughter from her voice.

"No." Shawn says, mockingly changing his voice to make it sound like he's scared.

"You are so crazy!" JJ squeals with joy.

"Crazy about you, Agent Jearau. So, are you up for dinner at Tony's tonight? I can call and make s reservation for seven tonight."

"I don't see why not." JJ agrees.

"Isn't that when the morning sickness dies down?" Shawn asks, thinking that the nausea is less by that time. He remembers that she had almost no nausea between six and ten in the evening. At least in the last few days.

"Yes. Thank you for being so observant. Although, I do miss my hair holder slash back rub when I throwing up. It takes all the fun out of it." JJ says, laughing. Shawn laughs too.

"Sorry sweetheart. Did you call to make a doctors appointment? One with your family doctor and one to find a ob-gyn?" Shawn asks responsibly.

"Yes. It took a while to find a ob-gyn that was taking new patients."

"Is it a woman?" Shawn asks, knowing JJ might have a problem with a man.

"Yes. I was getting worried. There was only one other woman ob-gyn left in the phone book. Talk about sweating bullets."

"So, when are the appointments? I'll make sure I ask for the time off. If you want me to go, that is." Shawn doesn't want to over step the lines.

"That's fine. My regular doctors appointment is Thursday. My first ob appointment's tomorrow. At 3pm. It's the only time they had. Thursday's appointment is 10:30am. It's kind of short notice, so if you can't get the time off, don't worry." JJ's nervous about going to the OB's appointment. She doesn't want to have to explain who the father is and how it came about.

"Babe, I'll get it clear. Don't you worry that beautiful head of yours. Now make sure you let your boss know that it's two doctors appointments. Just leave it at that. Don't give any explanation. After tomorrow, we find out that everything's ok. That should put you at ease. Then in a few weeks, if I can talk you into it, we can tell people that we are going to be parents. It's long enough to make them believe it and soon enough that you won't be showing yet. See, it's all doable honey. So don't worry. It's not good for you. I'll pick you up at your house at 6:30pm?" Shawn sounding a bit on the excited time.

"Ok, ok my sexy man. I'll see you tonight. I can't wait." JJ chuckles a little. Then hangs up. As she did that, she noticed someone standing at her opened door. She looks and see Hotch. "What can I do for you sir?" Standing and looking confused.

"I just thought you might need this." Hotch hands her a few pieces of paper. She'd forgotten then when she almost got sick in his office.

"Sorry Hotch." JJ reaches for the papers, but Hotch holds them back.

"Wait. Did I hear you right?" Hotch looks for an answer.

"I don't know sir, what did you think you heard?" JJ wasn't going to give ANY information without knowing what he heard.

"You didn't tell me you had a doctor's appointment. You need to tell me when you have these. I need to know about them." Hotch raises his voice like a stern father.

"I'm sorry. I was going to come and tell you. I was just getting off the phone with Shawn. And I was about to call you. I didn't think you wanted me to come to your office and possibly get sick." JJ chuckles, hoping that Hotch would loosen up.

"I just worry about you JJ. I don't like knowing things and then not knowing things. I just don't know what to expect from you. What time and date are these appointments?" Hotch asks, pulling out his little note pad and pen.

"Tomorrow at 3pm. And then Thursday at 10:30am. Please, don't be mad at me Hotch. I'm sorry." JJ's eyes start to tear up. Very unlike JJ.

"I'm not mad. I'm just catch off guard. Now don't cry. You'll make yourself sick. Sit down and drink some ginger ale. I know that helps with upset stomach. Hailey used to drink a ton of that when she was pregnant with Jack." Hotch has a glimmer of insight after saying that, but didn't say anything to JJ.

"Thanks for understanding Hotch." JJ sits down and takes a drink from her cup. Hotch turns and walks out without another word.

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**Sorry for the long absence. I was really busy co-writing a story with Bailee Neal. But I'm trying to get this story finished up before starting the sequel to 'Do As I Say'. So please read and review. Tell me what you think and where you'd like to see the story go. Thanks to all that have read and reviewed. I appreciate it.**


	31. Chapter 31

Her Past Catches Up With Her

**AN/ I did change a little bit of a procedure to fit the story. So please, bear with me. Thanks and I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I don't own Criminal minds.**

Chapter 31

The next day, JJ seems nervous the more the day. As it gets closer to her appointment time, she starts to act a little more unlike JJ. She's unable to concentrate. Everyone notices, but says nothing.

At 2:30pm the next day, JJ and Shawn leave the FBI building. They go to Shawn's car and head to JJ's first appointment to see how the baby's doing. She so relieved that Shawn wanted to go with her. She wasn't sure she'd be able to do this alone.

On the drive to the medical building, Shawn grabs JJ's hand and laces his fingers in between hers. He looks over at her and they smile at each other.

"What are you thinking?" Shawn asks.

"Just that this appointment is about to change my life forever. I just keep telling myself that this one I **CAN** keep. It was an enjoyable pregnancy the first time, but painful knowing that she wasn't going to be with me. But now there's the whole 'what if I screw it up this way' or 'what if I don't do this right'. It's very scary thinking that I have that kind of power over another human being. I can mess it's life up or make it the best I can." JJ starts to tear up again. "Damn these hormones." JJ laughs when Shawn laughs at her. And he squeezes her hand to let her know that he's with her all the way.

When they pull into the parking lot, JJ takes a deep cleansing breath. Shawn squeezes her hand.

"You ready baby?" Shawn rubs the back of JJ hands with his thumb.

"I guess. After this, it's really real. No more pretending it's not. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared." JJ says, looking straight ahead out the windshield.

"But remember, you're not alone. I'm here and you can lean on me." Shawn pulls her over to him and kisses her. This makes JJ smile. Shawn smiles back. They get out and head into the building to fill out the short novel that they call paper work. They walk hand in hand into the office.

As JJ fills out the paper work, she gets to the point where it asks her to list the father's name. JJ's body tenses and Shawn could feel it and see it.

"What honey?" Shawn's awareness heightens.

"They want the father's name. If I put Josh, then nosy Pen can get the info. But it's legal, so if I put you down, the you're responsible." JJ's unsure what to put down.

"Well, I told you that you can list me as father. I'm not going anywhere." Shawn bands down and kisses JJ's temple. JJ knows that Shawn's serious, but she decides to leaves it blank. A few minutes later, her names called. Shawn and JJ follows the nurse back to the exam room. She gets here weight on the way to the room.

"If you have a seat. And you need to change into this paper gown. Just pull this curtain around, undress and then have a seat on the table. Dr. Rosem will be in shortly." The nurse says and leaves.

"This is going to be a bit awkward. Once I'm done changing, I'll have to come and stand up by my head. That way neither of us will be embarrassed by the nakedness of me from the waist down. Like the sex we'll have won't be awkward enough." JJ says, nervously laughing.

"Don't worry baby. This is going to be a beautiful experience." Shawn clueless says.

"It may be beautiful to you, but I'm the one that's going to be looked at and have hands where only my husbands hands should go. I still remember the pain of childbirth. There's **NOTHING** beautiful about that. Trust me when I say **OUCH**!" JJ says, while getting undressed.

"Yes, but honey, you get to keep and hold this one. He or she will nestle in your arms. You will change his or her diaper, feed him or her. You get all the rewards for your pain." Shawn says, hoping he's getting through to JJ, with her on the other side of the curtain he couldn't see her reaction. There's a knock on the door.

"Come in!" JJ says, finishing up folding her cloths.

"Hello. I'm Doctor Sally Rosem." She says, shaking hands with Shawn.

"Hello. I'm Shawn Michaels. Jennifer's just finishing changing. Honey, are you ready?" Shawn says.

"Ok, I'm ready." JJ had sat on the table in a way so Shawn could get up to the head of the table. The doctor opens the curtain to see JJ sitting there.

"Hello Jennifer. I'm doctor Sally Rosem. I'm happy to meet you. So, when did you fin out that you're expecting?" Dr. Rosem asks, taking her blood pressure reading.

"Well, that was Saturday, early morning. I had gone to the ER for an accident and they called to tell me my blood work indicated I was anemic and the baby should be fine." JJ says, shaking a bit. Knowing that the exam was coming. No one had touched her down there since the rape kit.

"Wow, what a way to find out. Were you two trying or was it an oops?" Dr. Rosem writes down the results.

"It was an oops." JJ didn't deny or affirm that Shawn was the daddy. Shawn noticed this too.

"Well, you both look excited. So let's have a look. Then we'll do an ultrasound so you can hear the heartbeat. Lay back and scoot your bottom to the end of the table. Then place your feet in the stir-ups." JJ did what she was told, while trying to keep her body covered. That's when JJ heard the snapping of the latex gloves being put on by the doctor. JJ jumps at each snap. Shawn grabs her hand and squeezes. She looks up at him and he looks down at her. They both smile at each other. Then the doctor starts the exam. Once contact between the doctor and JJ are met, JJ pulls on Shawn's hand. He places the other hand over her hand to re-enforce the comfort and support. Shawn can see the tears forming in JJ's eyes. He could tell that this was hard for her. He wasn't sure about pain, but hard all the same.

"Yes, you are definitely pregnant. It seems healthy. I mean it's doing good. Any pain, spotting, vomiting or headaches?" The doctor asks, looking up at JJ as she removes the gloves.

"Vomiting, dizziness and I've had a couple headaches." JJ answers.

"Why didn't you tell me about the headaches?" Shawn asks, hurt.

"Because I figured it was all the throwing up caused them." JJ argues.

"Ok, we can't give you anything to help with the vomiting. Just drink a little ginger ale and eat some crackers. The headaches, just take a plain ole aspirin. The dizziness, you're going to have to learn how to stand up slower. Slow your movements. If you get any pain or spotting, call me. What is it you do for a living?"

"I'm an FBI agent. I work with the BAU. I'm the Media Liaison. Do I need to stop doing anything?" JJ asks, nervously.

"Well, I don't think you should be running after bad guys. Just try to keep from falling, being kicked or punched. Don't get shot or stabbed. You know, all the stuff that isn't good for you if you **AREN'T** pregnant. Just remember that the first trimester's the most common trimester for miscarriages. Now, let's have a listen to your baby's heartbeat. We can tell how far along you are. And get a guest-a-mate on the due date." The doctor squeezes the gel on her stomach and turns the machine on. She takes the wand and places it into the gel. Moving it around, she turns the sound on. They hear a whoosh whoosh. "That's your baby's heartbeat. Don't worry about the fastness of the beats. That's normal." She moves the wand and points to what looks like a white spot in the gray and white monitor. "That's your baby."

"Oh my." Is all Shawn can say.

"It looks like you're about 8 weeks pregnant. So your due date is looking to be about March 8th. Now this date may change due to the earliness of this ultrasound. But it gives you s rough idea. Let me print this out for you while you get dressed and then we can talk about the prenatal vitamins. See you in a few minutes." Doctor Rosem leaves and Shawn steps behind the curtain so JJ can get dressed. As soon as JJ's dressed, she pulls the curtain open. She stands there and they both just stare at each other.

"So, did you like your first baby ultrasound?" JJ asks Shawn.

"It was amazing. That really makes it real. Doesn't it?" Shawn asks in amazement.

"Yes. That's exactly the way it felt the first time." JJ lets a few tears streak down her cheeks. Shawn can't fight the urge to get up and go over to hug JJ.

"What's wrong baby? Are these happy tears?"

"I don't know!" JJ bursts into a full out sob. Shawn squeezes her tighter. Before Shawn can continue the conversation, the doctor knocks on the door. "Come in." JJ says.

"Here's the script for the prenatal vitamins. Just fill it when you run out of what the ER doc gave you. I want to see you back in a month. But feel free to come in if something seems wrong or call with any questions you might have." Dr. Rosem says.

"I remember the drill." JJ pipes in.

"Oh, you've had a child before? Did I miss that on your chart?" Dr. Rosem looks on the chart. "I don't see that on the chart." Dr. Rosem looks confused.

"I had a baby about 11 years ago. She was given up for adoption. I'm sorry. I didn't even think about her as being in my history." JJ says, wiping tears away, but feeling like she was going to start up again.

"I'm very sorry to hear that. But we need to make sure you have **EVERY** thing down in the history. Is there anything on here that you didn't mark that you should have. Sit down and we'll go over it to make sure it's as correct as possible." Dr. Rosem sits down as JJ sits next to Shawn.

"JJ, I think we need to tell her. All of it baby. It might be important for her to know it all." Shawn looks JJ in the eyes, to show he was seriously worried about her health and the health of the baby.

"What's going on folks?" Dr. Rosem is concerned now.

"My first baby was a product of rape. And this baby is too. The same father. I was drugged this last time. I was unconscious and was raped by two men. But I don't remember it. But I'm pregnant. So Shawn's worried that the drug they gave me might hurt the baby. You know side effects or whatever." JJ's looking at the floor as Shawn holds her hand.

"That's horrible dear. No one should have to go through that. But it would have been helpful to know. I wasn't to rough or anything with the exam was I?" Dr. Rosem says, gently tapping JJ's knee.

"No. I was just not happy about the procedure. But who really **LOVES** those exams." JJ laughs and looks into the eyes of her new doctor. Dr. Rosem realizes that JJ's not as fragile as she thought.

"Yeah. I'm not to happy with them myself. Well, if you need anything you call the office. It seems you have a support system. But are you going to counseling?" Dr. Rosem asks.

"Yes. Thank you for understanding. I had a problem with the fathers name. Do I have to put the rapists name? Shawn wants me to put his name. The rapist's dead." JJ says with a little curving of her lips. Not quite smiling, but feeling relief at the thought of never having to see Josh again.

"Does this guy have family?"

"I think so. Can't we just put a special note in my chart in case something medical comes up? They don't know about either child. I would prefer it stay that way." JJ hopes that something like that can be done. If Pen did her magic and sees that she's pregnant, then she wants Shawn to be thought of as the baby's father.

"I think we can arrange something like that. Now, here's your ultrasound pictures. Don't you hesitate to call me for any reason. You know what feels right. And let me say Mr. Michaels, you are good people I my book. Jennifer's lucky to have you." Dr. Rosem shakes their hands and lets them leave. Dr. Rosem thinks that JJ's gone through so much. Then she realizes that JJ's strong and a fighter. So that little baby was going to be just fine. So she goes on with her next patient.

Out in the car, as they both buckle their seat belts, JJ stops and looks at Shawn.

"She's right you know. I'm lucky to have you." JJ smiles at him.

"No, I'm lucky to have you. And this tiny baby." Shawn puts a gentle hand on JJ's flat stomach. JJ giggles a little bit and throws her head back.

"Shawn, I love you so much."

"I love you too baby." Shawn places the hand that was resting on her stomach, on her cheek and pulls her head closer to kiss. JJ moans a little bit in the pleasure that was Shawn. When he pulls back he says, " Why don't we go put something up for dinner and go back to your place and pop in a movie. We can cuddle and watch something you want. I'll buy."

"How about we pick something up for dinner, then start a movie. But I say we finish with a little more something sensual." JJ shyly smiles, waiting for a reaction from Shawn.

"If it happens it happens. I don't want to plan it. I don't want to make you feel you have to baby." Shawn likes the thought of having JJ in that way, but all the same, he doesn't want to go too fast and lose her.

"So what do you want to eat?" JJ asks, deciding to drop it for now.

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**From here it's going to be skipping a head a little more. So There might not be many chapters left. But I know that you all have been waiting patiently and I thank you for that. Thank you for being so loyal. Please drop me a PM to let me know how you feel about the way the stories going.**


	32. Chapter 32

Her Past Catches Up With Her

**AN/ Some of the facts might have been changed in the doctor/ER visit to fit the story. Sorry. I don't own Criminal Minds.**

Chapter 32

At five months along, JJ had gone through the tired and cranky part of her pregnancy. Now she's at her craving and bipolar phase. When she first told the team that she's pregnant, there was no doubt that it had to be Shawn's baby. Hotch on the other hand, still had the suspicion that it might have been from the rape. But he didn't say anything. JJ knew what she could handle and it was her business. He offered his congratulations and kept quiet.

Pen and Emily had different reactions. At first they both squealed. Then Emily hugged her. Pen slapped her and then yelled. She hated being told things after others. She liked to be the first to know. So thought Pen should have been a news anchor or journalist. But she was Pen and what are you going to do with her?

After her little mini meltdown, Pen hugged her and talked about names. Emily joined in. Shawn insisted on being there when she told them. But neither JJ or Shawn actually said the words that **he** was the father. Or that **they** were expecting. JJ thought that with them being so intuitive and being sticklers for details they would have caught that little detail. Especial Reid. But they didn't. JJ and Shawn weren't going to mention it. If they ever found out, they could say that it was their fault for jumping to conclusions.

Now JJ walks around with a noticeable baby belly and she always had a carrot or piece of celery in hand. Members of the team would find a little stray piece here and there from where she set them down, then forgets them. She's determined to eat as healthy as possible. Every now and then she lets herself have a nice big hunk of extra sharp cheddar cheese and salt n' sour chips. She would take one bit of the cheese and one bit from the chip. Shawn would watch her in disgust and amazement. She never let herself do that at work. Shawn was one thing, but the team had to respect her. She didn't want to show them all her crazy.

At home, JJ decides to start on the baby's bedroom. She thought she'd have Shawn paint it a pale yellow. She still didn't know the sex of the baby, so she thought neutral was the right choice. She always likes to be prepare. And this evening Spencer and Daisy are coming over. Spencer and Shawn were to paint the nursery and JJ and Daisy would make dinner. It wasn't too bad outside, so the window could be open for the paint fumes. The door would remain shut to the nursery until it had aired out.

JJ just put the plastic on the floor of the emptied bedroom. She made sure the paint brushes and all the stuff they would need was in there. That's when JJ heard the door bell ring.

"Shawn! They're here!" JJ called down to the other end of the house. She opens the door to Spencer and Daisy in a kiss. "Awe! You two are so adorable! Get in here before the neighbors get the wrong idea." JJ smiles and pulls them in.

"It's good to see you too Jen." Daisy just couldn't call her JJ. So she and JJ decided Daisy, and Daisy alone was allowed to call her Jen. JJ and Daisy hug. "Wow, that is quite a beautiful belly there. It's so hard to believe that you are going to have a baby." Daisy smiles so big. She's genuinely happy for her friend. Daisy seemed to be doing pretty good too. Her new practices was doing better then in California. Spencer and her were going hot and heavy. JJ expected to hear about a proposal soon. They were on the verge of living together. As were JJ and Shawn. Shawn walks into the room and shakes Spencer's hand and hugs Daisy.

"So Spencer, you ready to start on that job?" Shawn gestures to the soon to be nursery.

"Sure. See you later doc." Spencer says to Daisy and kisses her. Doc is the pet name Spencer gave Daisy. Daisy's pet name for Spencer was Spency. Or when alone, tiger. No one else knew that though. Shawn leans over JJ and kisses her.

"Baby, remember, no spices. It's not good for the baby. Dr. Rosem said that you've got acid reflux." Shawn squeezes her in his arms.

"I know babe. I was there." JJ getting annoyed and Shawn can hear it.

"You know I do that because I love you. And I hate seeing you suffer." Shawn kisses the top of her head and pulls away to walk to the room. As soon as Spencer and Daisy were finished making out in the middle of JJ's living room, Spencer follows Shawn into the other room. Daisy and JJ walk into the kitchen to start dinner.

"Jen, did I sense a little bit of tension between you and Shawn?" Daisy's concerned.

"Yeah. I just feel off. I love Shawn and he's been so sweet. I don't know if it's my hormones or if it's just me. But I am just getting so annoyed by him lately. I have a feeling it's the mother hen thing he's doing. Like I would do anything to hurt my baby. **I** was told not to eat spices. I just don't know what to do anymore. Is this normal? Oh…I think I need to sit down for a minute. That doesn't feel right." JJ's eyes get big as a pain hit's the middle of her back. Daisy helps her to the closest chair.

"Do you want me to go get Shawn?" Daisy doesn't know what to do.

"Maybe in a minute. Let's just see if it passes. Come sit with me and tell me about you and Spence." JJ pats the table in front of her. Trying to take her mind out the repeated pain in her back. It literally felt like someone was stabbing her in her spine in dead center of her back.

"Are you sure? Your face is getting a little flushed. Maybe we should take you to the hospital." Daisy kept inching toward the door to go get Shawn.

"Daisy, it will pass…Maybe not. Let's go." JJ's fear starts to kick in. Daisy helps her stand and they walk into the living room.

"**SHAWN! SPENCY! COME NOW!**" Daisy's panic voice bellows.

"Great Daisy. Freak them out worse then they need to." JJ says, squeezing Daisy's shoulder that was under her helping her walk. Every time the pain hit, her legs wanted to give out. Shawn and Spencer slowly walk into the living room talking about something the girls could care less about.

"What's the big deal? We just bearly got started." Spencer asks.

"Jen's having some pain. We need to get her to the hospital." Daisy says, calmer. Which JJ notices and nods to Daisy in approval.

"Baby, why didn't you tell me you were having pain?" Shawn takes over what Daisy was doing.

"SHAWN! I didn't tell you because it just happened when Daisy and I were in the kitchen! You knew as soon as I did! Please, just get me to the hospital." JJ was just so frustrated with Shawn and the ups and downs with her feelings. She was being mean and harsh. This wasn't her. She hated herself like this.

They get her in the car. Daisy sat in back with JJ and the boys sat in front. They thought if JJ was able to lay down, the it might relieve some of the pain or pressure she was feeling.

"You never felt this pain when you were pregnant with Annie?" Daisy asks.

"No. I have never felt this kind of pain. Not even in labor. It felt a little like this when they gave me the epidural. But not nearly as sever. I'm sorry guys. I don't mean to be mean and didn't mean to ruin the evening. I don't know what's gotten into me. I'm so tense and moody." JJ's almost in tears.

"It's ok sweetie. You are pregnant. Your hormones and emotions are everywhere. I'm starting to feel Shelby coming back into my life." Daisy giggles. JJ does too until the next shot of pain worsens.

"Oh! Dear god! You have to get kidding me!" JJ squeezes Daisy's hand, hard.

"Are we almost there?" Daisy could tell the pain was escalading.

"JJ, hold on baby. Just five more minutes. Why don't you tell us about one of your Shelby moments. I keep hearing about the wild child you were." Shawn says, driving as fast as he can.

"What about the time you, me and Scott were talking about Juliet having to get a pregnancy test. I said it was so Sheakpearen and he said he never knew that Sheakspeare wrote a play about someone taking a pregnancy test. Ha! That was so funny when he said it." Daisy was smiling so big that JJ couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah. Who would have thought Juliet and Auggie would run from school. Her mother really messed with her head. Thank god she got through it. How are you feeling?" Daisy looks down at JJ.

"The pain isn't as strong now. But I sure am really tired. So tired I felt like I just ran 30 miles. I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open." JJ closed them, which freaks Daisy out.

"Shawn, are we there yet? She's out. Her pulse seems to be ok, but she's pretty pale and she's out." Daisy rolls the window down a little bit to get some air moving to see if that helps her. When she looks out the window, she see the hospital as they turn into the ER entrance.

"I'll take her in. One of you move the car and meet us in the ER." Shawn puts in park and quickly gets JJ and heads into the ER. "We need some help, please!" A nurse and a man Shawn assumes is an orderly comes over with a gurney and Shawn places her gently down.

"What's seems to be the problem?" The nurse asks.

"She's five months pregnant and he was having back pain. She's been pregnant before and she said it didn't feel like anything before. Just as we got here, she said the pain wasn't as bad, but she was so tired. Then she closed her eyes. She was awake until about two minutes ago. Her ob-gyn is Dr. Sally Rosem." Shawn tries to remember everything.

"Ok,that's good. Are you her husband?" The nurse tries to get a little personal info.

"No. I'm her boyfreind, the father of the baby."

"Ok, good. We need you to sit right here and fill out these forms. As soon as we know what's going on, we'll come out and let you know." The nurse sets Shawn down and hands him the clipboard and forms. Shawn's so shocked that he starts to fill out the forms. Hurt that because he wasn't her husband, he couldn't be with her. Spencer and Daisy rush in and find a calm Shawn fill out paper work.

"What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be with JJ?" Spencer asks.

"They won't let me in. I'm not her husband. I have to wait until they figure out what's going on." Shawn sounds so defeated.

"Well, maybe if you stay here and let them do their job, they can get out here faster. You want Jen taken care of and find out what the problem is, right? Make sure the baby's ok?" Daisy asks, using her best doctor voice.

"Yes, but I just feel so helpless. I don't feel like I have a helping hand with this pregnancy. I just get to sit back and wait for the baby to come. I want to help her feel better. Make this the easiest pregnancy. She didn't get to have someone with her the last time. Now it feels like she doesn't need me. She's so mad at me all the time. What am I doing wrong?" Shawn asks, confused.

"You have to think about it this way hun. She's used to being in control. She's used to having coffee all the time. Now, she can't have the coffee all the time. She's happy one minute and then sad the next. Hot one minute and cold the next. Has she started with the peeing every two seconds. And there's more where that comes from. Has she got to the point where she wants sex ALL the time?" Daisy says, grinning.

"No. I can't imagine going from happy to sad and back again. If she's left me know how to help, I'd do it."

"I think what you guys are supposed to do is take our nine months of ups and downs. I hear it's hard on you guys. Maybe not as hard as we get it, but hard. But give her time. Before she had no one. Now she has you and doesn't know how to use you to her advantage. When she's better, ask her. Talk it out. If she gets mad or annoyed then leave it and come back to it. It will be ok." Daisy says rubbing his back, trying to comfort him. Spencer stands in front of him, hoping that Daisy is getting through to him for JJ's sake.

"She right man. Listen to her." Just then the nurse came out.

"Jennfer Jearau?"

"Right here." Shawn stands up. Spencer and Dasiy stand with him.

"She's asking for Shawn." The nurse wasn't sure which one was Shawn.

"That's me. I'll be back guys." Shawn hands the clipboard to Daisy. Then follows the nurse to JJ's room. As he enters, he sees an IV in her arm and all sorts of monitors. She turns her head to see him come in.

"Shawn. I'm so glad to see you. How long have I been without you?" A groggy JJ asks.

"Just a little while honey. No more then a half hour baby. How you feeling?" Shawn grabs her hand as he sits next to her side.

"Not too bad. Just run down. I'm so sorry for being so grumpy. You don't deserve it. You are so kind and loving. I'll try to be better." JJ squeezes his hand in understanding.

"It's ok baby. But if there's something you need or want me to do to make things easier on you, let me know. I want to help the best I can. I love you." Shawn bends down and kisses her forehead.

"I love you too baby. Dr. Rosem is on her way in. They don't know what it is. I'm scared. They say the baby seems fine. What did I do wrong to cause whatever to happen? Maybe it's stress." A tear rolls down JJ's left temple. Shawn wipes it away.

"Don't say that. You did nothing wrong. Just stay calm. Dr. Rosem will get to the bottom of this. If it's stress, then you'll work less. It's all about this baby sweetheart. It's not forever. We'll get through this." Shawn smiles at her.

Dr. Rosem walks in.

"Jennifer, what are you doing here. I thought we said no ER. Just like not getting shot, getting stabbed or kicked. What happened?" Dr. Rosem smiles playfully at her.

"I was just going into the kitchen with a friends to start making dinner. Then a stabbing pain in the middle of my back just kept getting worse. It's nothing like I felt in the last pregnancy. Not even labor. I say there for a few minutes to see if it would go away. But it got worse." JJ looks at the doctor.

"Well, it could be a few different things. Let me check the lab results and then we'll go from there. You just sit and relax. You let me do the worrying." Dr. Rosem leaves the room and JJ takes a deep breath. Then slowly lets it out.

"We need to get that nursery painted. And before it gets cold. The fumes are not good. So the window has to be open." Shawn could feel JJ's body tense up.

"Don't you worry baby. It will be done. Do you want anything?"

"I'm thirsty. Maybe if they let me, I could have some nice cold ice water. God, this kid is hungry. Can you hear my stomach growl?" JJ laughs a little.

"I'll go see of you can have some water and see about getting you something to eat." Shawn gets up and walks out to the nurses station. "Hello. My girlfriend was wondering if she could get some ice water and maybe something to eat. She's pregnant and is starving. She missed dinner." Shawn smiles.

"I'll check with the doctor and then we'll see what we can do. What room and what's the name?" The nurse goes to write it down.

"Jennifer Jearau. Exam room 5. Dr. Rosem is her doctor. Thank you." Shawn went to tell Daisy and Spencer to just take his car and go get something to eat. He would call if something changed. So the couple went to go get something to eat. Shawn goes back into the room to find JJ sleeping. He's relieved.

About an hour later, Dr. Rosem comes in with a tray. Water and a turkey and cheese sandwich. JJ was still sleeping. So she just talked quietly with Shawn.

"She's just got a little build up of some vitamins. And the stress isn't helping. I think she needs to cut work down by half. She can do paper work, but not phone calls with angry people. She can do the paper work and that's it. She's going to need back rubs. Three or more a week. But not every night. We don't want the build up to happen again. But she does need to walk for about half an hour a day. Not alone though. Just in case she has a problem. If at all possible, don't let her drive or be alone. I mean, someone should be in the same house or building. Close enough in case this happens again. If it does then it's going to have to be no work and bed rest. We'll have to give her a medication to keep the build up to a minimum. When she wakes, have her eat and have a little water. Then well let her go. No rush. I'll come back in an hour. Let her sleep." Dr. Rosem leaves and Shawn sits there with relief.

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